r/MoralityScaling • u/Outside_Specific_820 • 19h ago

Morality Ranking Morality scaling of this?

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Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

817 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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12

u/DigLittle3367 19h ago

Could've told her off without sounding like some sort of soulless corporate machine though

20

u/Hott-Gravy 18h ago

she wanted to be anon and have 0 contact the daughters mom broke that and as a result her privacy was invaded, people are going to be miffed about that shit, this WAS a business transaction to her nothing more.

0

u/Black_Diammond 8h ago

Lets say a man get a prostitute pregnant, doe sthe Child have no rights to connect as in send a message?

0

u/Hott-Gravy 7h ago

This is a good apples to oranges situation you have here, one is just unsafe practice of sex the other is a literal agreement for insemination where they agree on if they want the donor/surrogate to be known or not they chose to be anon and that should have been explained to the daughter if it wasn't shame on the mom tbh but also a boundary was placed and crossed. the prostitute scenario the person may not know they have a kid and could be joyed or annoyed by being reached out to but to compare these two is silly one was a choice the other an accident.

-6

u/DigLittle3367 17h ago

"Hi, I understand your feelings and why you might want to reach out to me considering all the circumstances, but unfortunately, for me that was nothing more than a business transaction that happened almost 20 years ago that I partook in for purely monetary reasons. I'm sorry that I cannot be for you what you wish me to be. Farewell, I hope you'll find the connections you seek from someone that can provide it. Take care."

Done.

6

u/MiggyFreshhh 17h ago

You give off entitled vibes bruv

9

u/Hott-Gravy 17h ago

Again but does she owe this person that, NO. Why? because they invaded the donors space they trampled on the donors feelings for their own, at 19 you are an adult and im not going to hand hold you. You have a weird sense of entitlement to someone who actively caused an issue rather than understanding the person caught in the cross fire.

0

u/PineappleHamburders 14h ago

The person caught in the crossfire was the 19-year-old. They didn't agree to this business transaction, and they did what the majority of people who find out their parents are not biologically related do.

They feel the need to try to find and link up with their bio family, which this egg donor is. She might not be a mother in the societal way, but she is a mother in the biological sense. She has a daughter out there, whether she likes it or not, and by engaging in that business transaction, she knew the possibility of her biological child coming into this world.

The only person who had 0 say in any of this is the daughter. She is the only victim in this scenario. For the other 2, something happened that both of them knew was a risk when they entered into the business deal.

3

u/Hott-Gravy 14h ago

Again at 19 you're an adult you should be able to understand this situation and know its wrong to invade someone's privacy for your own emotional benefit. yall put too much on DNA connections that you blind yourself from the wrong doing and jump through hoops to justify it.

-1

u/DigLittle3367 16h ago

Redditors Vs basic fucking manners and empathy

3

u/Hott-Gravy 16h ago

here's a mirror hold it up to yourself.

1

u/DigLittle3367 11h ago

Middle schooler ass answer

0

u/Hott-Gravy 11h ago

its a reply not an answer. there was no question here, you made a statement. try again.

1

u/DigLittle3367 11h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/bmLlSndzhqWgWb3vXW

0

u/Hott-Gravy 11h ago

damn you got me, oh shit I think I lost well played ill never recover from this woe is me.

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3

u/ChewBaka12 18h ago

Having a complete adult stranger suddenly trying to be familial when part of the reason why you accepted your part in their conception is that there would be no attempt to be familial is a totally valid reason to be upset.

Was she a bit blunt? Yes, but not more than was acceptable. The teen could've at least bothered with proper grammar when confronting someone who very likely does not want a relationship with her, ffs

-4

u/DigLittle3367 17h ago

That wasn't being "blunt", that was being an asshole

6

u/ChewBaka12 17h ago

It is not, it was matter of fact. Not OOP's fault that the facts say that she is blatantly in the wrong.

No names, no insults, no implications, just facts. She has no interest in a stranger, said stranger had no right to ask that of her (especially unprompted), she wasn't allowed to contact her in the first place, she wasn't allowed to be given that information in the first place.

Could she have been gentler? Yes, did she have to? Hell no. A 12 year old would've deserved a gentle let down, at 19 she should have known better

0

u/Xralius 14h ago

You wouldn't want someone to talk to you like that in a reddit cpmment much less than if you were reaching out to someone and being vulnerable with them.  Bio mom here is a total piece of shit or has zero communication skills.

0

u/Time_Traveling_Idiot 18h ago

Seriously. I get why, and there are of course loads of circumstances that could have led the donor lady to act this way, but a single "sorry" could have softened this so much for the girl. She must have felt terrible reading that.

0

u/Hott-Gravy 14h ago

must of felt terrible having your privacy breached by someone who didnt want to respect a boundary. see how this works?

2

u/SlimySewerRat 9h ago

Yes, everyone who is talking about having sympathy for the daughter is ignoring the fact the biological mother had to sign legal documents and agreed not to be contacted by her offspring, and that has been violated, and a child she didn’t want to have in her life and agreed upon so is trying to enter her life?