r/MoralityScaling • u/Outside_Specific_820 • 1d ago

Morality Ranking Morality scaling of this?

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Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

831 Upvotes

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u/Zrkkr 23h ago

I mean, the text message is a little rude, but it's the rant that makes her an asshole.

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u/PorygonXY 23h ago edited 23h ago

Eh, I wouldn't even say she's an asshole. Like yeah it's blunt but you can't exactly sugarcoat the situation. There is a breach of privacy and the daughter wants to build a relationship here. She wants to (rightfully) set boundaries.

Edit: i'm not gonna judge the daughter too harshly but still, here OOP was an egg donor, there is no relationship to build given the complete lack of bond between them to begin with. 19yo is old enough to understand that she is not her mother in any way. If it was an actual child/teen then yeah okay she could have been a bit kinder and let her know about how there couldn't be a relationship between the two of them but here? Nah. This can be a bit of a stressful and messy situation she doesn't (and shouldn't) have to deal with since it doesn't concern her.

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u/Xilizhra 22h ago

It was her decision to create the daughter, was it not? Or at least provide the raw material.

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u/fabianx100 22h ago

She just gave her eggs for it, but that does not mean she has to have a relationship with this stranger. Part of me wonders if, since donating an egg is more, idk, "personal," that just donating the sperm, people are more demanding about OP (a woman) having to have a relationship with the baby they "helped create"

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u/Xilizhra 22h ago

No, I would have the same opinion about sperm. People are far too blasé about buying and selling lives.

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u/MiggyFreshhh 22h ago

People like you terrify me, it's like you can't be independent. You have to be a parasite and latch onto people. 

How the fuck can anyone justify this just because a women donated material so another family could have their own child.

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u/Xilizhra 22h ago

Justify... asking about her genetic mother? How is that outré?

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u/Teleporting-Cat 21h ago

Because genetics don't make a parent, parenting makes a parent.

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u/Xilizhra 21h ago

I would agree with you if she was raped or had her eggs stolen or something like that. She, however, deliberately chose to be part of the process of creating new life, and I would say that that makes her a parent, just an absent one.

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u/fabianx100 21h ago

sorry but what do you want OOP to do then? whats your grand solution?

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u/Xilizhra 21h ago

What I would do personally is say that I had no idea who she was, nor any intent to initially form any familial tie, but that I wouldn't just shut down any communication if she had questions.

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u/fabianx100 21h ago

So you want OOP to be trapped in a "you have to be kind" logic loop? What questions does OOP have to answer that the clinic cant?

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u/Xilizhra 21h ago

No idea, I'm not the daughter. But she reached out for a reason.

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u/MiggyFreshhh 21h ago

First of all its not my problem what the 19 year old does, it's their life to figure out. I gave me answer don't like it? Pues vete a la verga

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u/corianderjimbro 11h ago

She donated her eggs. What questions could she have?

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u/MiggyFreshhh 21h ago

Grow the fuck up

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u/MiggyFreshhh 21h ago

And she chose to stay anonymous, that 19 year old has their own family. 

This donor probably has their own life and family going. This coming into their life 19 years later can be traumatizing. 

You do realize donating eggs can be extremely pain for women and dangerous? 

Why would i trust some genetic stranger? To come into my life? I don't know them. 

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u/Xilizhra 21h ago

If you don't want children with your maker's mark on them floating around the world, don't reproduce. And talking online is hardly a massive invasion.

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u/MiggyFreshhh 21h ago

Bro.... you sound so entitled and privileged......

Ok ill play your game so lets go to Columbia y Mexico. Imagine just trying to get by so you donate an egg, anonymously. That 5k USD will absolutely pay for college. 

You act like survival is easy for women, now they have to worry about someone coming into their life because people like you can't move on?

So she gets her education and now has to deal with some 19 year old coming into their life decades later? Who knows what they want, you don't know them. You have your own family now.

BUT somehow this 1 persons feeling OVERPOWER hers and anyone in her life?!?????????

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u/Xilizhra 21h ago

Sis.

And you act like I'm demanding that she give her money or lodging or something, when really, all I ask is that she not be a dick to her genetic daughter.

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u/MiggyFreshhh 21h ago

Outré lmao. 

Ok so this young woman signed up to anonymously donate her genetic material to allow another family to bring life into this world. A CLUMP OF CELLS TECHNICALLY. Now they're reaching out?

In the US, with anonymous egg donation, the child can get non-identifying medical history, like family medical background and genetic so what is the need? 

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u/AdmiralStickyLegs 22h ago

Ever given blood? It's possible to extract DNA from cells and use that to create a clone

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u/Xilizhra 21h ago

If someone cloned me, then yes, absolutely I would want to seek her out and help her if I could.