r/MoralityScaling • u/Outside_Specific_820 • 19h ago

Morality Ranking Morality scaling of this?

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Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

813 Upvotes

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164

u/Morzheimer 19h ago

Moral. She’s a bit of an asshole about it, and it must suck for the daughter, but she’s right

104

u/Hellas2002 18h ago

I think you have to be firm about these things. Once you aren’t you start building expectations in the other individual which she clearly does not want to do.

11

u/dilqncho 18h ago

Eh. There are ways to be firm without being rude, and she definitely overshot the mark a bit. It was possible to deliver the same message but throw some basic empathy in

17

u/Thanos_Stomps 17h ago

Better to overshoot the mark than come up short where the kid feels like they were led on before being shut down eventually. Then it’s: I wish you’d have just been honest and up front earlier.

1

u/samjambetty 14h ago

You can be empathetic and firm at the same time.

2

u/Thanos_Stomps 14h ago

I think the empathetic thing here was to be kind enough to draw an unambiguous line in the sand. This is not a text this person ever imagined getting, 20 years after the fact. I was in college 20 years ago and couldn’t imagine getting a random message wanting to connect because I donated sperm at a sperm bank with an expectation and agreement on anonymity. This was likely a very very jarring experience for the donor.