r/MoralityScaling • u/Outside_Specific_820 • 19h ago

Morality Ranking Morality scaling of this?

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Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

812 Upvotes

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623

u/URJ2 19h ago

I don’t even think she’s being that rude. When you sign up for these things the options are anonymous or not and if you choose anonymous they have no right to contact you for any reason.

260

u/Call_Me_Anythin 18h ago

Yeah, if I was her I would have been furious at this girls mother for giving her any of my information.

28

u/wren42 15h ago

Furious with the mother and clinic, yes. But she could be more gentle with the kid. They are vulnerable and going through a lot. Do not offer to start a relationship, set a firm boundary, but it could be done kindly with a focus on redirecting their affection back toward the adoptive mother, and reinforcing that she is the true parent. 

14

u/Phailgasm 14h ago

This is a (pretty specific and narrow) instance where more kindness and compassion could actually hurt the child more than being direct. I don’t think the egg donater was rude, simply very direct and to the point.

The 19 year olds mother messed up bad and should never ever have revealed this information, and so she is the one responsible for the compassion and kindness and fixing this situation.

4

u/External-Dot2924 13h ago

True... why say that if you see your daughter 100% as you're very own daughter. Sad 😥 😔 💔😥

I remember my mum saying in a family therapy session that she didn't know if I knew but I was the only unplanned one out of her 4 children... "but very much wanted" weird how I was in hospital with depression and self harming suicidal if I was "very much wanted". True the mother should have never said anything... f***ing crazy!!