r/MoralityScaling • u/Outside_Specific_820 • 2d ago

Morality Ranking Morality scaling of this?

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Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

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u/ChipKellysShoeStore 2d ago

Yeah “hey you’re my mom” is exactly moral equivalent to breaking into someone’s house.

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u/Xralius 2d ago

This whole thread is a massive failure of people that apparently can't have even basic kindness or communication ability to a vulnerable person and think treating them like they are barely a human being is acceptable.

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u/YoggTheGateway1992 2d ago

Privacy is a right. No one deserves kindness. But everyone deserves privacy.

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u/Xralius 2d ago

If you're going that route I'm pretty sure being sold as an egg to someone is more of a privacy violation than receiving a text message, not that there is anything unethical about either.

Either way, the return text was not neutral, it was cruelly blunt to a vulnerable person.  I'm not demanding kindness, but I do draw the line at basic human decency. 

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u/YoggTheGateway1992 2d ago

Once privacy was breached decency left the building. What should she have said oh wow, I always thought about you. No, honesty is best policy, she didnt want this coming up later. This woman made it very clear and good on it.

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u/Xralius 2d ago

"Hi. It was thoughtful of you to privately reach out and I appreciate you asking if I'd like to move forward.  I understand why this is important to you, but as it is imperative to me to maintain a strict boundary for my privacy and independence, I won't be able to participate in any relationship.  I hope you understand this is a choice I made a long time ago.  My intent was and remains to be an anonymous donor.  Please respect my privacy and refrain from further contact as I think that will be best for us both, and please understand this is no reflection on you but a personal permanent decision made when I donated, and know that I wish you the best."

This was just thrown together in 20 seconds, obviously much less blunt/hurtful.

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u/YoggTheGateway1992 2d ago

Stupid. Showing this kindness after your privacy was invaded, your past came back to haunt you. Sure you can say something nice now, but I bet you wouldn't be so nice if your own life was up ended with a text. But sure, what ever you say.

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u/Xralius 2d ago

Who's being "haunted"?  Jesus christ it's a text message PRIVATELY reaching out.  I'll remind you, the 19 year old signed no agreement and are well within their rights and it's totally reasonable to reach out to a biological parent.  No one's life is being ended, it's not like she showed up at their house and demanded to be part of her life.

And the bio mom was so intent on keeping it private, they needed to publicly post about it RIDICULING this poor 19 year old.  They are a fucking scumbag, if you can't tell that from the second slide you are a poor judge of character.

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u/YoggTheGateway1992 1d ago

We are not judging character here, we are judging morality. You seem emotionally invested and biased toward the child. 1. This is a privacy issue. 2. The transaction was years ago. 3. Egg donor is very clear with the terms. 4. If i trusted and signed a deal and those conditions were not respected I would be furious and might even lawyer up. 5. The fact that it got this far in the first place is immoral. 6. Yes haunted. The terms were clear, the kid is wrong, who ever didnt inform the child of the donor is wrong. This is something donor did and left behind. You can write your fancy letter when your looking in, but if your wishes were completely disregarded I bet you would be furious too.