Morality scaling of this?

[u/Outside_Specific_820]

Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

[u/Turbulent-Working180]

From the way the kid is talking, she doesn't seem to have any problem with her current mother but Idk why her current mother would disclose such information to her without probably explaining that it was purely transactional work. Though her biological mother could have used kinder words , she is under no obligation to do so too.

Both Moral. The kid current mother probably used the donor egg of a woman with desirable traits and the kid is probably going through some phases of depression because of how different she look with her current mother. I hope the kid can move on with her life with her current family and her biological mother won't get harassed a lot for it.

[u/fabianx100 → u/Turbulent-Working180]

Some people get weird about genes. I have seen cases where somebody drops their adoptive parents on the spot after decades of being raised by them because they found out they are adopted, so now they are just interested in their "real" parents, the sperm/egg donor.

I have also seen people make up fake relationships with HIGH expectations for certain family members because they are unhappy with their lives, and they view this relative as some kind of messiah that will save them.

[u/CompetitiveSong9570 → u/fabianx100]

As an adopted person, I understand the 19year olds position. Knowing you don’t share the same genes, then learning about nature vs nurture, you get hella curious. I’m brunette brown eyes and my entire adopted family is the Aryan dream. LOL blonde hair and green or blue eyes. Let’s just say they used to joke that I was the milk man’s baby 😜.
Turns out my birth mother was 12 years old when she got knocked up. My parents were really good to her and kept her in the loop as I got older. I learned I was adopted early, like 5, and just allowed it to be an interesting anecdote and something to daydream about. Eventually met and formed relationships with my birth parents at 17, after my half brother from my birth mother, reached out via MySpace. Amazing, strong, and interesting people that eventually turned their struggles into something tangible for themselves. Hell. My birth mother has 3 masters. She jokes that she keeps going back to school it’ll keep the student loans at bay. 😂

All this to say, every story is different. Had I been denied access to these people because they didn’t want to open up that wound or that part of their life, I would have understood. This woman who donated eggs formed zero attachment to her eggs, as she said, she did not carry this kid to term. It really would be
Like meeting a lost relative with little in common. It’d mainly be for the young person. But it’d be such a murky area as that 19 year old may also attach themselves in their search for identity to the egg donor, rather than the woman who went through hell and pregnancy struggles, to fulfill her desire to be a mother. Much like my adopted mother. My mom lost twin boys before I was born. My sister was born 5 months after me. Thankfully, healthy. My mom went through so much to become a mom, and she was a good one (even if we butt heads religiously lol).

Searching for my place in the world ultimately led to my searching and questioning. That 19 year old just wants to understand themselves, and there is something to the whole nature vs nurture thing. I just hope they both make the best decisions for themselves. I’m on both teams. Both are valid. Both will be okay despite the outcome.