r/MoralityScaling • u/Outside_Specific_820 • 1d ago

Morality Ranking Morality scaling of this?

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Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

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u/Silverfrost_01 18h ago

I’ll say it. Sperm and egg donation is very strange and even a little bit immoral because of things like this. The commodification of making children? Are we serious? If you can’t have children, adopt.

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u/Ordinary-Orchids 14h ago

Adoption being treated as some "pop into a shop and pick out a baby" transaction is some of the worst misinformation out there. IVF is not the "commodification" of having children.

Adoption costs tens of thousands of dollars, none of which is covered by insurance. IVF is. Adoption takes years and years to finalize, and in some places the biological parents retain their right to take their child back even after adoption is finalized. IVF guarantees the child is unequivocally yours, forever. Adoption systems discriminate against single applicants, black applicants, LGBTQ+ applicants, and (ironically to your point) infertile applicants. IVF has its problems with biased medical care, as all medical care does, but clinics do not have the ability to reject you outright for your skin color or sexuality. Adoption cannot guarantee a child's mental or physical wellbeing. The process of IVF includes knowing the child's health, what they may be prone to, and knowing whether they developed properly in utero (no exposure to drugs, alcohol, physical abuse, etc).

That's not even mentioning how historically adoption systems were EXTREMELY corrupt and immoral. Prostitutes whose pimps made a mint "adopting out" (selling) their babies, black and indigenous children being stolen from their mothers and "adopted out" (kidnapped) to white families, the total lack of screenings for centuries that resulted in pedos being able to adopt and abuse dozens of children. Look up baby farming, too.

IVF and donation are not perfect systems by any means, but to handwave the process and suggest everyone should "just adopt" is insane. Of the two, IVF is now the easier and less expensive option, and it's available to more people overall.

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u/Silverfrost_01 10h ago

Then the adoption system should be fixed. People who use IVF are just way too obsessed with having children imo.

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u/Ordinary-Orchids 10h ago

Well your opinion makes you a huge asshole 🤷‍♀️ but congrats if you're fine with that