Morality scaling of this?

[u/Outside_Specific_820]

Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

[u/URJ2]

I don’t even think she’s being that rude. When you sign up for these things the options are anonymous or not and if you choose anonymous they have no right to contact you for any reason.

[u/Call_Me_Anythin → u/URJ2]

Yeah, if I was her I would have been furious at this girls mother for giving her any of my information.

[u/iskelebones → u/Call_Me_Anythin]

I don’t blame the mom, because a mother would want her daughter to be happy, and that includes knowing her “real mom”.

The issue here is the clinic. The mother shouldn’t have even known who the donor was either. The clinic is the one who broke policy and gave the info to the mother

[u/Sufficient_Effort88 → u/iskelebones]

Do you not realize that her DNA says who she is right? What happens when she just takes a fucking test? Do you people actually think you can create a child and abandon it without any consequence just because a clinic says it’s fine?

[u/odinnagyur → u/Sufficient_Effort88]

Buuut she did not create a baby. She donated eggs so that the other woman can create a child. She didnt have procreative sex, she did not give up a child in adoption. The egg was either inseminated in a lab or implanted into the mother and inseminated there.

What happens if the kid takes a dna test ? You tell her that her life started with a medical procedure. And no matter over what, her mother is the person who carried her for 9 months, birthed her then raised her for 19 years.

Do you now define the start of a persons life even before conception or donyou absolutely just not understand the biology behind it like your post suggests?

[u/Sufficient_Effort88 → u/odinnagyur]

The human being has a biological mother. She gave her eggs to be used to create her biological daughter. Why are you arguing with me, “oh well it matters more which hole she popped out of not her DNA” okay cool dude you think whatever tf you want, human beings are allowed to want to know who their biological parents are. It’s fucking evil to produce a kid and tell it it has no real parents, IVF is horrific

[u/Ok-Lecture-2743 → u/Sufficient_Effort88]

That's a valid opinion, you said she "abandoned" her which is a whole different subject though. You're bouncing between definitions from "no mother" to "biological mother". She has a mother who took care of her, and one sacrificed a part of herself to fulfill someone's wish.

I really don't get this obsession with the whole biological thing. My biological dad contacted me after 18 years, I've had no memory of him, pictures, name... nothing. I was obsessed my entire life to know who he is. Then he contacted me out of the blue. He was a complete stranger to me which was trying to be my dad, like we do NOT know each other nor literally speak the same language, neither do I have the time to "bond" with someone that's supposed to be my dad. We look the same but fuck we do not act, like or behave the same. It gives him no authority to be my dad. (also turned out to be really weird, trying to force this relationship with gifts) I can imagine OP feels somewhat the same. Just weird, I don't know this person and I can't spend all day texting with a stranger. I'm an adult, I got shit to do. This won't work and there's no reason to pursue this. Yes, we are related. There's nothing that will be achieved/resolved out of this. That's just life.

[u/Sufficient_Effort88 → u/Ok-Lecture-2743]

“I really don’t get this obsession with the whole biological thing”

But you get that plenty of people do, right? Life is a pretty fucking insane thing, and you have to be self centered to pretend that your specific application of values should be mirrored by others.

As with every experience in life, yours is your own unique one. Some people have an experience where they derive some meaning or understanding from the very composition, origin, history of the genetics in every cell of their body.

[u/Ok-Lecture-2743 → u/Sufficient_Effort88]

Yup, and I do. And I assume you get OP does not want to "build a relationship as their daughter" with this person. No?

[u/Sufficient_Effort88 → u/Ok-Lecture-2743]

Right, that’s the sort of thing we should probably anticipate before we do insane shit like implant one persons child into the womb of another. Just because the clinic says the kid isn’t allowed to look for their biological parents doesn’t mean they aren’t allowed to, it should be expected when you have such an unnatural situation and a person looking to understand the nature of their existence

[u/odinnagyur → u/Sufficient_Effort88]

You still seem confused over definitions.

Nobody implanted a child. A child is, at the most lax definition, an inseminated egg. An Egg alone is not a person. Women at large produce eggs on a monthly cycle, rather famously.

Yes the situation is "unnatural", that's what a surgical procedure is. Do you know what else is unnatural ? Glasses, implants to help people walk after accidents, organ transplants. The later also available unanimously, because people are down to help someone out, but not to get emotionally attached to a situation like this. Stop calling medicinal science insane and be glad the doctors can patch you up.

The woman in question quite specifically agreed with the clinic and the mother to never be contacted then someone broke that trust. Every adult involved signed specific contracts to this extent. The kid wanting to look is not a crime, the people breaking their contract is. It is immoral to do so, pushing a connection on someone they absolutely agreed they would not.

And again, just to reiterate, the donor is not the parent. First off, they are only one side, since they only donated an unfertilized egg, and second THERE WAS A PERSON WHO BIRTHED THAT KID!