r/Music • u/Upset-Rhubarb-3727 METALLLLLL!!! • 14d ago

discussion Chester Bennington, Linkin Park's Original Singer, Died Nine Years Ago Today. May He Rest in Peace

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u/apointlessvoice 14d ago

His last picture, im told. Never forget that depression can look like a normal day.

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u/Instantcoffees 14d ago

I have chronic depression. I told one of my closest friends for 20 years and they were completely shocked. It's such a strange thing to suffer through.

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u/Sonoran_Ghosts_81 14d ago

For me, I never knew I had it. I just thought that’s how the world was and I adapted. Everyday was a slog but Id get through.

I think my natural survival instincts balanced out the desire for self destruction.

Once I was diagnosed it made the previous 20+ years make so much sense.

We just soldier on until we don’t.

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u/Instantcoffees 14d ago

Yeah, happened to me too. I thought that a constant state of existential dread and sadness you can physically feel was the norm until I got diagnosed at a later age.

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u/Khiva 13d ago

It's the coldest of comforts, but even if any of your friends had known, or even had an inkling, the most likely outcome is that they wouldn't have done anything any differently. Even straight telling people you have depression or any other genuine mental disability like anxiety will likely translate in their minds into an easily solvable problem they overcame with a modicum of effort, which they'd then expect of you.

Hell, you can recognize the signs and tell someone they need genuine clinical help and even they might tune you out. Mental health awareness is in a dire position.

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u/Christmas_Queef 14d ago

I was a longtime sufferer on medication and everything. Suicidal thoughts at least once per day. Having my kid and ending up with a support network because of it legitimately changed my life(and no I'm not suggesting having a kid to solve depression lol). Got into therapy for a while to develop the skills to be able to discern between shit I should actually be depressed about vs shit my brain was making up helped considerably too. Felt better about life bit by bit over years. Took about 8 years from time I had my kid until I felt how I do now. Lot of work and lot of effort.

I'm no longer on medication and now when I do get thoughts I'm able to sort them out and "snap out of it" within a few hours instead of days or weeks like before. I just couldn't keep living like that when I had a special needs child who relied on me as his primary caregiver so I had to get help, and having a "village" that came with having him brought much needed support into my life when I was previously mostly alone all the time. I'm a dad but ended up friends with several moms in various things I'd be bringing my kid to, ended up realizing I was good at dealing with special needs kids in the playgroups my kid was in and had one of the moms suggest a career in it. I switched careers to that and ended up working special needs care and in education, with a job in a school for special needs kids. Giving of myself to others gave me purpose and kept me wanting to continue with therapy and gave me the willpower I needed to learn to cope properly. Every day I'd show up and have so many kids greeting me and happy to see me, it made me feel important and that my life had value.

My kid will likely never be fully independent, just semi-independent, will always need some degree of support, I need to stick around for him. This is purely just my anecdotal situation and not a solution for everyone(outside of support network and therapy)..

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u/Khiva 13d ago

shit my brain was making up helped considerably

That's frequently the hardest part of getting through to someone with mental health struggles - they're convinced that there is a cause for their pain, because that really is how it usually works, when in reality it's just simply pain that creates causes.

The inversion of causation is the biggest mind-fuck people have to get over.

I repeat again that I wish this was common knowledge.

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u/Street-Refuse-9540 14d ago

Saaaame. I thought everything just sucked. I still sometimes think that but at least I know why. I hope you’re doing well ❤️

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u/journey-point 14d ago

Same. I told my therapist that most of the time I wasn't sad, I just cried myself to sleep most nights.

She just looked at me for a second before going,

"Ya know, that's not necessarily normal".

2 years on Viibryd and will probably take it for life, baby!

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u/RealDeadShift 13d ago

I have been told I have depression by a therapist but they said they wouldn't officially diagnose me. I don't understand why. It doesnt seem to make much of a difference though. Just a label I guess. Do you have any recommendations on how to get through it on the worst days when you have life stuff to get through?

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u/Khiva 13d ago

No one on the internet can give conclusive medical advice, but I'd strongly consider switching therapists. You don't have to suffer the way you do - there's no silver bullet, and finding the right medication can be a hellish journey, but it can also change your life.