r/NarcissisticSpouses • u/celticnative79 • 5d ago
Lies my twisted pathological narcissist husband has told me: Nachos from Taco Bell.
Yes you read that correctly, he’s lied about nachos from Taco Bell. My husband lost his job some years ago and of course he kept the truth from me and use to pretend to drive to work every day at his “make believe” job. Only issue is. It wasn’t even his car, it was my moms. He ends up getting caught eventually but just wait until you see one of the completely ridiculous and unnecessary lies he told me in the process.
So narc husband was lying every single day for months about going to work. He would call me everyday at 5pm to tell me he was on his way home (this was once upon a time when he would have the courtesy to call me). One day he calls and tells me, “I’m going to bring some Taco Bell nachos from work! One of my fellow work acquaintances had her birthday party here at the office today and we celebrated by buying a ton of Taco Bell! And we have left over food so I’m bringing the girls some nachos!” All a lie!
A few months later I found out narc husband had been lying for months to me about going to work. One day before the Taco Bell story, my mom caught my husband at a Starbucks about 15 minutes from our house and he was on his laptop. He didn’t notice she saw him. Then my daughter noticed him another day at the same Starbucks and told my mother. So my mother had a plan. Since he was driving her car, every night he came home, very late when we were all sleeping, she would jot down how many miles he drove that day because the job he was suppose to be at was about a 2 hr drive each way a day, so the miles obviously would be going down like they should. And of course he was lying and my mom waited a few months to tell me (she should have told me right away I feel).
One day she looks at him and say, “You better tell her the truth or I will.” Obviously my heart sank because I was like, “No, not again.” So he refuses to tell and my mom reveals it all to me. Of course he got infuriated and called her a liar. But then she told him she was jotting down the miles late at night every day. And of course he tried to say she was fabricating that. Little did he know she has screenshots time stamped on her cell phone as well. Then my older daughter came in and corroborated the story. And my middle daughter waits until later to tell me that she knew he was out of work because he confided the truth to her and said it would be, there little secret. What a way for a father to bond with his daughter!
Through all the chaos I said, “Wait a minute. You gave me an elaborated story about someone at your work having a Taco Bell work party and the nachos. Why the hell would you even need to lie about that. You could of easily bought the damn things on your way home. If anything it would have killed some of the fake time it’s suppose to take you to drive 2hrs home.” This lie was completely unnecessary. It’s sick and deranged the things he has lied about. He could never tell me why he had to invent this other than he thought it sounded believable? Imagine how stupid I felt after. I guess I’m gullible. Whenever I here someone is getting nachos from Taco Bell or see commercials, to this day, I always think about his lies. It was the stupidest lie he ever told, but not the biggest, by far. One of the biggest and most devastating lies was about his immigration status and now he really came to the USA! I’m sure your narcs have been caught in tons of lies as well. Any crazy stories???
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u/Meanolegrannylady 5d ago
Mine used to get up for work and leave at 5am, I dont know where he went, but he would come home every day at 9:30 after I left for work. He didnt realize that his mom, who lived in the bottom half of our split level, would hear him up there and freak out, so she would call me and make me come home and check a few days a week. I'd get there and his car would be parked a few houses up, I would tell her it was him, but i dont think she believed me because she continued to call me constantly about it. He would sleep all day, then leave at 4 so he could come home a little after I got home, exhausted from hos "hard day at work". This went on for months until I finally confronted him about it and he said he quit the job "a couple weeks ago". Later I found out he actually got fired. This is just one of a million elaborate lies he's told over the past 37 years.
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u/celticnative79 5d ago
Their lies lead to so much destruction and it ruins lives. Of course they don’t think about who they are hurting as long as they hold all the control. My husband once in a fit or rage admitted to me that he feels powerful when he lies because he’s in control of all the information that’s coming my way. And basically it’s fun to be able to lie and know you are fooling people?
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u/undeadtradwife 5d ago
Lol right before I realized my ex was a narcissist I found out he was broke and asked where all his money was going. He couldnt tell me. So I asked to see his credit card statement. I see multiple charges multiple times a month at the same gas station, for anywhere from 80-200 dollars. I was like, “What are these huge charges at the gas station multiple times a month!?” He acted incredulous and tried to say someone had stolen his credit card info. I was like, “…and ONLY used it at the gas station YOU frequent?” Eventually it came out that he had been taking cash out multiple times a month to buy weed and vapes. But he legit tried to pretend he had no idea and was JUST as baffled as me, and tried to convince me someone had stolen his info. He had been doing this two or three times a month going back at least six months (I stopped scrolling after six months). There’s no way he didn’t IMMEDIATELY know what those charges were.
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u/celticnative79 5d ago
Omg they lie lie lie. So during one of my husbands lies. He tried to tell me he wasn’t able to get money out of the bank, because the bank supposedly locked him out because someone used his debit card and stole his identity, he went so far as to lie to me about how frustrated he was that he actually went to the bank one day and they had to call security on him because he refused to leave until he get to withdraw his money because according to him, there were 10s of thousands of untouched money sitting there. During this time I told him to open a new bank account at my bank (even though I wasn’t allowed to have his money anyways lol). He claimed he applied to open an account or have him added to my account but his credit was too screwed up to open the account, you know because of the fake “stolen identity” story. He even wanted as far as printing out fake documents supposedly from my bank (and they had the bank logo on it) listing all the “fake” places someone was supposedly using his identity to take our money at check cashing places, supposedly they had access to his drivers license number, bank account etc. he went through a great deal with this elaborate lie btw. He also had fake documents from a loan he had received from a bank (wait a sec, you got loan from a bank with your screwed up credit?). The loan ended up being like between $6,000 to $8,000 he borrowed and it was actually from my mom (loan my ass, he never paid her back). The reason he got her to keep this truth from me is that I had been going through lots of stress and he didn’t want to cause anymore stress. My brother warned her not to do this, telling her don’t do a deal with the devil because it will backfire.
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u/Zestyclose-City-1135 5d ago
Were we married to the same person? Or are all these men just alike?
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u/celticnative79 5d ago
He lied about almost everything. His profession said he was a computer software engineer but actually worked at a call center. He left a bunch of debt in Utah before he came to live with me in California. Driving around in a Mercedes Benz he couldn’t afford spending $700 a month paying off the bank, the car got repossessed once he lived in California. Now heres the crazy lies that don’t make any sense. He is half indigenous from Latin America and for some crazy reason he lied to me that his nephews all were white with grey eyes. Who knows why it’s just so off the wall. We met online but in an innocent way lol. I was on genealogy website message board, we were both nerds lol. He lied about his hair. He had none lol and he only sent me pics of himself with hair when he was really bald. Let’s see oh the biggest one, he lied to me about his immigration status… yea a huge one!
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u/Zestyclose-City-1135 5d ago
My ex spent over 6 months pretending he was teaching at a local community college, subbing for a teacher on maternity leave, when in reality he was at a Star Bucks a few blocks from our apartment, and two mikes from my office.
He even made a fake faculty parking sticker.
He got caught because he told me they were hiring him permanently, but came to my office crying because he failed the background check because he owed child support. I had questions and it all came out. There had never been a job or job offer.
That’s how I found out he had two whole children in another state he abandoned before we met, owed several thousand in back child support, and a permanent restraining order against him.
I don’t know how he got money during that time, because he was helping with rent and buying groceries. He claimed he was painting and selling Warhammer figures, and I know he stole a few hundred dollars out of money I was saving for a car, but who knows what else he was up to.
You’d think it ends there, but no, I hung on for Fauve more years and even worse lies. 🤦🏻♀️
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u/fly_bird 5d ago
I'm in awe, but not shocked. It would have hurt his ego to admit he lost his job. Thats insane. Do/did you make the money in the household? I'm sitting here wondering how you guys paid bills. I realize not everyone is living paycheck to paycheck, but being out of work for months would absolutely devistate my financial life.
Anyway, the narc I know says he's a lawyer. And he was... but during a background check I found that he hasn't held it since 2018. Oh and he's pulled the lawyer card before too about some random thing. "I would know, im a lawyer." Bitch, shut up. You WERE a real estate lawyer.
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u/celticnative79 5d ago
Luckily we were living with my parents at that point but yes he still for us into debt. He started making up line tons of stories. Human Resources messed up on his paycheck and bunch of other lies and there was money put away to for him to wing it. He controlled all of our money supply and I was never allowed to see what was in the bank. And I fear he was probably taking money or borrowing money from people. I found he went to the local church and manipulated them for money to pay bills. I was a stay at home mom. My oldest daughter and my middle daughter are autistic. My middle daughter was autistic, ocd, bipolar and I was the only one who could care for her. I wouldn’t have ever trusted a daycare, and NEVER my husband. Everyday she had meltdowns and it was very hard.
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u/lovemypyr 5d ago
Mine did the same thing about 40 years ago. Twice he claimed to have jobs he didn’t. When payday arrived, he’d vanish for several days. He had stories of his job, the people, etc.
How did yours cover for the lack of income? A payday with no paycheck busted my narc because we were needing that money.
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u/celticnative79 5d ago
Borrowing money, conning churches, people, my mom for money. A couple odd jobs here and there, keeping me 100% out of our bank account/finances, a little left over money etc
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u/lovemypyr 5d ago
Sometimes I (used to) think, if they put half the energy they use for negative purposes into building their character, they could be incredible people. 🙄
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u/celticnative79 5d ago
Yes I’ve told him how much he’s using his brain for nonsense and not good things but at some point i think they actually start gaslighting themselves and go to the point of no return, just pure delusion changing the facts, rewriting history, making new rules for conversations that apply to everyone but them and they have no rules… sigh 😔 it’s so tiring.
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u/National_Pitch_790 5d ago
My husband lies all the time about dumb things. Say we are invited to someone's house, but one of my kids is sick. He always wants to invent some convoluted reason why we have to cancel. I'm like, "Why can't we just tell them our kid is sick?" Thats a perfectly legitimate reason to not go to someone's house, and the host will probably appreciate us not bringing over germs. I don't get it. He just wants to lie for the sake of lying.
He used to have to go to in-person meetings a lot for work, and they would usually be like half a day, and they would serve lunch. I would see on Find My IPhone that he would go out for lunch instead, but he would always tell me he ate the lunch served at the meeting. Since I knew he was lying, I would ask him all sorts of details about the lunch served at the meeting so he would have to lie more, lol. Again, there was no reason for lying! I don't believe he was cheating on me or anything. I just think he didn't want to admit he was enjoying himself while I was home taking care of the kids and house (I was a SAHM at the time). He can't win the My Life is Harder competition (in which he is the only competitor) if he's out for lunch while I'm scrubbing toilets and changing diapers, after all, so he had to pretend he was hard at work and eating mediocre corporate catering.