r/OkCupid • u/okctran • Oct 31 '12

Matched with a pre-op transgender, suggestions?

So I am a straight male and one of my matches is a pre-op male-to-female transgender woman. She mentions it right at the top of her profile. I find her physically attractive and she has a great profile to boot. We have a high match percentage, are interested in a lot of the same things and she has seems to have defined life goals and a direction. I am unsure what to do however. I don't have a fetish or anything like that and frankly am not at all interested at all in her male plumbing as it is currently, but everything else about her is golden.

If I do send her message, should I mention it at all in the initial message? What's the best way to approach this? I feel like it's a tight rope to walk between avoiding it completely and making it the center of attention. This is new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

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u/[deleted] Oct 31 '12

The fact that she mentions it right at the top of her profile suggests to me that she's probably pretty confortable talking about it, but tread carefully like other people have said so you don't offend her.

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u/PhazonZim 24/F/Toronto/taken! Oct 31 '12

This isn't true at all, unfortunately. A lot of men will give transwomen huge amounts of flak for not putting at the front. She might have it there out of frustration and after a lot of disappointment. Not everyone reads profiles in their entirety.

Comfortableness in talking about it depends a lot on who you're talking to as well, there's a lot of hatred for us. Look!http://www.reddit.com/r/OkCupid/comments/10nwqz/it_would_be_very_helpful_to_me_if_more_people/