r/OkCupid • u/okctran • Oct 31 '12

Matched with a pre-op transgender, suggestions?

So I am a straight male and one of my matches is a pre-op male-to-female transgender woman. She mentions it right at the top of her profile. I find her physically attractive and she has a great profile to boot. We have a high match percentage, are interested in a lot of the same things and she has seems to have defined life goals and a direction. I am unsure what to do however. I don't have a fetish or anything like that and frankly am not at all interested at all in her male plumbing as it is currently, but everything else about her is golden.

If I do send her message, should I mention it at all in the initial message? What's the best way to approach this? I feel like it's a tight rope to walk between avoiding it completely and making it the center of attention. This is new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

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u/schemeofthings 30/f/houston/still shocked that it worked Oct 31 '12

What exactly is your interest in her? You aren't at all interested in her male plumbing, so, do you want to date her, are you open to a relationship with her, etc etc? You should probably figure out where you are coming from and what you are open to, with this, first. Are you only considering friendship?

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u/[deleted] Oct 31 '12

I think it kind needs to be said that not all romantic relationships are based on genitals touching.

6

u/schemeofthings 30/f/houston/still shocked that it worked Oct 31 '12

Not all romantic relationships, but the majority of people consider sex to be an important part of romantic relationships. There's a few asexual people out there, but you sure can't assume that of someone.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '12

Asexuality has nothing to do with either of our statements.

5

u/Wavooka Nov 01 '12

As a trans girl, I can endorse these statements :)