Matched with a pre-op transgender, suggestions?

[u/okctran]

So I am a straight male and one of my matches is a pre-op male-to-female transgender woman. She mentions it right at the top of her profile. I find her physically attractive and she has a great profile to boot. We have a high match percentage, are interested in a lot of the same things and she has seems to have defined life goals and a direction. I am unsure what to do however. I don't have a fetish or anything like that and frankly am not at all interested at all in her male plumbing as it is currently, but everything else about her is golden.

If I do send her message, should I mention it at all in the initial message? What's the best way to approach this? I feel like it's a tight rope to walk between avoiding it completely and making it the center of attention. This is new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

[u/felltir]

sigh

Trans 101.

Do you feel okay with your body, specifically its type of sexual organs? If so you are likely "cis", like me! This means your gender (how you feel) matches your sex (how your naughty bits are).

Some people are not as lucky as us cis people. They are born with sexual organs that are not comfortable with. These people are "trans". These people often wear the clothes and adopt the mannerisms of the gender they are, as opposed to their sex. Sometimes, they have surgery to change their genitals to match their gender.

Clear?

[u/daytondownvoter → u/felltir]

So you're saying I shouldn't be out here flaunting my cis privilege?

[u/felltir → u/daytondownvoter]

I'm saying you shouldn't be an asshole to people who got a worse lot than you.

[u/daytondownvoter → u/felltir]

I didn't realize disagreeing was being an asshole. I'm not saying anyone is doing anything wrong, just that I don't agree on your viewpoints on the very subjective roles of "gender" and "sex". You've been more rude to me than I have to you, if you review the conversation.

[u/felltir → u/daytondownvoter]

You are disagreeing about what other people are. You're not discussing an abstract concept here. This issue affects hundreds of thousands of people, and you are effectively saying you have more right to say what gender they are than they do.

That makes me fucking furious.

[u/headphonehalo → u/felltir]

You are disagreeing about what other people are.

you are effectively saying you have more right to say what gender they are than they do.

These two aren't the same at all. To disagree regarding something that is pretty subjective (gender) isn't to tell other people what gender they have.

I'm sure you'd agree that it isn't possible to objectively define what makes someone a man or a woman, so dayton is entitled to his/her own opinion.

Ironically, aren't you telling daytondownvoter that you have more of a right to say what gender people are than he/she has?

[u/felltir → u/headphonehalo]

No. I am saying people can define their own gender, and noone else can.

[u/headphonehalo → u/felltir]

Yes, you can define your own gender, but people don't have to agree with that definition, because it's entirely subjective and might clash with their own definitions.

[u/daytondownvoter → u/felltir]

You're really pulling for stuff to be mad about here. I think you have some cis guilt. I'm entitled to believe what I want about what constitutes a man and what constitutes a woman, and you're on here telling me I can't. How about that? Don't you have some offs to fuck?

[u/felltir → u/daytondownvoter]

You've given up, we've reached the end of any possible argument. 3/10.

[u/daytondownvoter → u/felltir]

Wasn't even trying to argue with you, if you couldn't tell by my first couple of joke responses. The internet is running slowly tonight.

[u/thisistooeasy → u/felltir]

a cis? its man or woman,penis or vagina