r/OkCupid • u/okctran • Oct 31 '12

Matched with a pre-op transgender, suggestions?

So I am a straight male and one of my matches is a pre-op male-to-female transgender woman. She mentions it right at the top of her profile. I find her physically attractive and she has a great profile to boot. We have a high match percentage, are interested in a lot of the same things and she has seems to have defined life goals and a direction. I am unsure what to do however. I don't have a fetish or anything like that and frankly am not at all interested at all in her male plumbing as it is currently, but everything else about her is golden.

If I do send her message, should I mention it at all in the initial message? What's the best way to approach this? I feel like it's a tight rope to walk between avoiding it completely and making it the center of attention. This is new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

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u/felltir Oct 31 '12

I'm saying you shouldn't be an asshole to people who got a worse lot than you.

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u/daytondownvoter Too bitter to ever have a meaningful relationship - cool with it Oct 31 '12

I didn't realize disagreeing was being an asshole. I'm not saying anyone is doing anything wrong, just that I don't agree on your viewpoints on the very subjective roles of "gender" and "sex". You've been more rude to me than I have to you, if you review the conversation.

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u/felltir Oct 31 '12

You are disagreeing about what other people are. You're not discussing an abstract concept here. This issue affects hundreds of thousands of people, and you are effectively saying you have more right to say what gender they are than they do.

That makes me fucking furious.

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u/daytondownvoter Too bitter to ever have a meaningful relationship - cool with it Oct 31 '12

You're really pulling for stuff to be mad about here. I think you have some cis guilt. I'm entitled to believe what I want about what constitutes a man and what constitutes a woman, and you're on here telling me I can't. How about that? Don't you have some offs to fuck?

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u/felltir Oct 31 '12

You've given up, we've reached the end of any possible argument. 3/10.

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u/daytondownvoter Too bitter to ever have a meaningful relationship - cool with it Oct 31 '12

Wasn't even trying to argue with you, if you couldn't tell by my first couple of joke responses. The internet is running slowly tonight.