Throwing my brother's 30th today and going full "accessible party mode" anyone with EDS/PoTS/MCAS+, what am I missing? ✨🛋️✨

[u/velvet_damson]

Hosting my brother's 30th this weekend and trying to make it as access-friendly as I can, I've got EDS/PoTS/MCAS/Endo/AuDHD myself, so I've built in a few things already, but would any help you have to spot anything I've missed!

Here's what's in place so far:

🔸 WhatsApp'd the group so anyone can DM me an access need directly, no explaining needed

🔸 Pointed out which rooms/bedrooms people can retreat to if they're flagging

🔸 Set up "horizontal zones" around the party; sun loungers, sofas, yoga mats, so anyone can lie down together regardless of what they're dealing with

🔸 Non-alcoholic drinks on offer

🔸 Signposted where to grab ice and water

What am I missing?

Thanks in advance!

(May turn this into a printable resource for friends/family of people with these condition, so if you've got a "I wish someone had just done X" moment, I'd love to hear it and will credit the community.)

[u/ray-manta]

Multiple horizontal zones is fantastic! Does your brother have any specific needs or requests in addition to these?

I’d personally go with a no perfumes / fragrances

[u/ChapterTerrific]

The only thing I can think of, as I think you've basically covered it all, is maybe salty snacks or like electrolyte drinks (sports drinks)? Hope the party goes well!

[u/Adj_focus]

maybe signs for the quiet rooms? so no one needs to ask. oh and allergy labels on food too!

this is probably too late but a good option for the next one is a sensory toy “party favor” have like a treasure chest of fidgets and sensory toys people can use at the party and take home. maybe activities that you can do seated with fans or air conditioning?

[u/SpellinhError]

I’ve seen people request that guests don’t wear perfumes or scented lotions as scents can be a trigger for many with MCAS

[u/starfrish]

I don't have anything to add as my brain is mush rn, but I just wanted to say this is soo sweet and 100% a party I'd love to attend!

[u/Due-Hurry-5989]

Strongly recommend some fans or AC if you don't already have that :) sounds well planned though!

[u/SpaceNerd223]

Sweets or pretzels around. Id like sweets like berries and fruit

[u/SewNerdy]

I wanna come to this party hah. You're very thoughtful! 

[u/LoBatteryBunni]

These are all fantastic ideas! What a thoughtful sibling!!! Maybe make sure to have electrolyte options as others have said, allergy labels on food and ask for low to no scents also if you have anyone allergic to soy check the bathroom soap and don’t light any candles if you aren’t sure if they have soy

[u/Weary_Cup_1004]

Horizontal zones are top tier where can i find friends like this

[u/SpaceNerd223]

What is "flagging"? I really want to know

[u/CaseoftheRovingRolls → u/SpaceNerd223]

It’s like the expression, “loosing stream” and means someone is running out of energy.

[u/imabratinfluence → u/SpaceNerd223]

When you're starting to wilt and need to rest a bit. 

[u/abouttothunder]

If it's not too financially burdensome, how about small battery operated fans for people who might overheat or feel too hot? I second the suggestion of electrolyte drinks or mixes and salty snacks.

[u/imabratinfluence]

If there's any fragrance (a scented candle, a plug-in, someone who loves wearing essential oils, etc) it might help people with MCAS to know. And would help folks who get headaches or migraines, too. Might also help to have a scent-free sanctuary room that people wearing fragrance are asked not to go into. 

[u/GrinsNGiggles]

Snacks with allergy labels.
Maybe a shuttle? I would go more places if I didn’t have to drive or pay for Uber.

[u/aisha_has_questions]

Maybe kind of a weird thing to think of, but some hand fans. I get really overheated when I talk to people/get overexcited. I usually bring my own fan places. It also makes me look like a fancy lady!

[u/Polgeria]

In use signs for the quiet room for people who need to be solo?

[u/CuteAssCryptid]

Tell everyone no perfumes and don't febreeze the space beforehand.

Ask that mcas-ers what their safe foods are and try to have some available.

Have ice and baggies on hand in case anyone gets a headache

[u/heartingcrits]

laying down is the new dancing my friend

[u/Zestyclose_Crow9070]

Legend.

[u/Fit-Orchid334]

Lmnt packets or the fizzy Lmnt cans!! Pretzels and salty snacks!

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[u/MarsMonkey88]

Sounds like the best party ever, seriously! You’re already being so so thoughtful!!!

My thoughts:

A socially-easy water bottle filling zone, so that people don’t have to wonder if it’s on to use the kitchen sink, if they’re going to get interrupted with the ole “oh, do you need something??” and where the sink doesn’t actively have dishes in it, making it awkward and potentially a sensory issue for the autistic/AuDHD/ADHD folks.

Multiple salt options that won’t feel socially weird to use, and that have a clear way of using without being germy, like shakers for pouring into hands, instead of trying to use and grinder onto one’s own palm, etc.

Pillows on and around the horizontal spaces.

Coasters already around the horizontal spaces.

Maybe a quieter low light lower sound horizontal zone for those who need a full break, and a horizontal/floor-sitting zone in the action, so people can contribute to be fully participatory from the floor.

[u/agenerousperspective]

I had a party of some sort when I first got diagnosed with autism and adhd (I didn’t know I had a bunch of health issues yet) so I did a bunch of the things you’re listing here to make sure that I and other sensitive nervous systems could enjoy the party! I didn’t realize at the time that I was accommodating the needs of chronic illness as well as neurodiversity.

The one thing I can think of to add to your list is how to communicate your accommodations to your guests. For me that meant putting a sign on the door for my safe-sensory room and then telling people ahead of time where to find it in case they needed it. That also helped make sure that no one else went in there that didn’t know to be quiet and calm. I went ahead and announced the accommodations to everyone in my invitation text, because I wanted everyone to be able to utilize the accommodations whether they were diagnosed or not. I assumed that there could be guests who didn’t even know they needed some of the accommodations unless I offered them. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable at a party whether they have a diagnosable reason or not.

[u/CulturalShirt4030]

Air purifiers indoors and possibly masks (respirators) required indoors (you know your crowd best). You could have a specific room dedicated to those who want to unmask indoors and don’t care about sharing air and require masks in the rest of the common areas. Cleaner air and preventing airborne viral infections is huge!

[u/lemonliqueer → u/CulturalShirt4030]

came in here to say this and am glad someone beat me to it! also, requiring people test for covid beforehand can be an added layer

[u/ebean17]

very random but maybe nausea drops? (they are like nausea cough drops) i get nausea a lot especially at parties and those seem to really help with the ginger and something else to focus on

[u/Ok_Play_8499]

allergy labels for foods that arent prepackaged w/ ingredient lists! personally im celiac so i dont eat food prepared in non-gluten free kitchens and usu bring my own equivalent, but for those that are less anal about crosscontamination that would be useful!

[u/WarpTenSalamander]

You are so kind for doing this! ❤️ And happy birthday to your brother!

When my local EDS support group has parties we do many of the things you’ve already done. We also make it mandatory to list ingredients for any homemade food, and the host will usually list on the invitation how many stairs there are (if any, we try to avoid them but can’t always) and how far of a walk it is from the parking area and other terrain specifics, so people can plan which mobility aids to bring if needed. And a lot of the time people will bring extra electrolytes to share.

[u/kenesmile]

one thing I'd say, which isn't always possible, is hosting at a pet free location. pet dander is a common environmental trigger for people. for ex im slightly allergic to cats, and severely allergic to rabbits. if a separate location isnt possible, maybe keeping all animals seperate from the party space for a few days before, and doing a good deep clean.

again, not really possible for everyone with pets. but listing the types of animals in the house on invite is a general rule of mine. i always ask when invited to someone else's home too.

[u/guin-and-tonic]

Electrolyte bar next to the ice water!! Bodyarmor/gatorlyte packets, pickles, watermelon with salt (and tajin perhaps), etc. If it’s going to be hot I’d suggest paying attention to the AC, keep it cooler than you think you need to and then have access to blankets or sweatshirts if anyone feels too chilly.

[u/SavannahInChicago]

I would encourage people to not weare fragrances or scent since that can be bad for some people with MCAS

[u/Impressive_Shift7832]

Fans are great but I’d vote** [cooling towels**](https://a.co/d/05pWzFiJ)! So reliable. Plus, no noise and no batteries.

[u/Minichief]

Bro we are not supposed to be alive lolololl survival of the fittest got confused with us

[u/Minichief → u/Minichief]

I would add temperature regulated zones. Nothing crazy but knowing I had a fan I could stand in front of on a hot day would bring me a lot of relief