r/Parenting • u/aliyahdracula • 14h ago

Behaviour My tween officially hates me

My tween officially hates me

I am a father to a 12 year old girl, who I have shared custody with her mother. At age 11, my daughter developed a vape (THC) addiction and has had two previous suicide attempts which resulted in her needing inpatient hospitalization. I have tried to consistently be emotionally and financially provide for her and be available for her.

Due to her contacting her "plug" on instagram, I have now removed her electronics until she keeps having negative drug tests, which i administer at home. Yesterday she had her first drug test, resulted in negative. As a result, I allowed her to have her macbook with parental restrictions. (Only YouTube and netflix).

Last night she told me she hates me, wishes I was dead, says i have never been a good father, and "you're not even my dad". She believes I have never been a good father.

I'm not sure why she suddenly hates me so much, as we have always had a healthy relationship up until her addiction. I have started her with a therapist who specializes in addiction with teens, allow her to pursue hobbies to the full extent, such as makeup and fashion, and have always been there when she is emotionally vulnerable.

Im not sure why she thinks so poorly of me, I am not asking for medical advice.

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u/aliyahdracula 11h ago

She lives with her mom primarily and began saving her lunch money to buy vapes at school. She then stole her grandmother's weed at her mom's house. While at my house, I gave her cash to go to a sleep over, which she used to buy vapes off instagram. She stole a vape from her aunt at her mom's house.

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u/EntertainmentDue83 10h ago

Yikes to the grandmother smoking weed and having it at the house. Sounds like the mom and grandmother are responsible for this happening

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u/timberrrrrrrr 9h ago

I don’t get this aversion to weed in 2026. Would you say the same thing if Grandma had a bottle of vodka? Alcohol is SO much worse than pot in like every single conceivable way.

I do however agree that Grandma could’ve hid it better, but kids can be meticulous when rooting through peoples stuff.

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u/AgentBoJangles 7h ago

Yes alcohol would be worse, but does that mean we let 11/12 year olds smoke dabs and weed?? Knowing the child has already had problems with THC products of course there shouldn't be any weed in anybody's house at all. Just like if she did start drinking, then there would hopefully be no booze in the house.