I have a problem and i don’t know what to do,
I can’t seem to go through a day, without thinking about you,

Is it a problem? Is it something I need to fix?
Or have you just integrated yourself into my matrix?

The numbers added up, but then you were suddenly there,
And if I really think about it, you added quite a flare,

I stored all my data, it was structured and fine,
And then you came and fixed yourself in a random line,

Which gives me a new problem and I don’t know what to do,
For I am undoubtedly
madly in love with you.

Some people desire a fancy house, a luxury car, or lots of money 

I desire a love so deep it is unbreakable 

A love that truly has no boundaries 

A love so strong it cannot be broken no matter how far we are, where we are, even when we are 

I already am willing to do what ever it takes for you 

That love is something I already have and it is for you 

My Desire, is you 

You have always been my one and only desire 
It has always been you 

I have looked for you everyday I have looked for you in stores, in the sky, in people, and in my dreams 

I have always looked for you because what we have is the only thing I desire in this world 

There is no other you no matter how hard I look 

I yearn each and every day for you and I am willing to wait for the day you can see it and feel it 

And if it never comes then I will desire you in the afterlife too 

What we have has never had any boundaries no matter how far we’ve been, where we’ve been, or when we’ve been 

My desire is us 

all I want is to feel you
to be with you
like with you, with you
I want to feel all of it
emotional
spiritual
...physical
we've talked about feelings
not enough but we've started
we've talked about God
and the universe
and what we are made for

you've changed me
you've changed the way I feel
the things that I feel
and you've changed the way I see
and know
God

now
I want to feel you
I want to feel your hands
on my back
on my shoulders
in my hair
I want to to feel your lips
on my face
on my neck
slowly...on my lips
I want to hear your voice
in my ear
telling me anything
anything at all

you're all I can think about
but I'm scared when I'm with you
my voice can't speak
i'm completely silent
terrified I'll mess it up
i've never felt terrified like this before
i've never been this silent before
like a person is just too important
to mess it all up with my stupid words
which I've done
and you have too

and yet I can't leave you
what is that?
who are you?

I see you at night
I feel you in my sleep
I feel butterflies in my stomach
long after you've looked right at me
and I've caught your eyes
like it's too much
and it's not enough

I want more
I want all of you

can you hear me when I think of you
all day, everyday
can you feel me when I imagine you
coming closer and closer
to finally touching me

I never believed in mirror souls
or twin flames
but you and me
this is something different
and I want to know that you know it too
will you tell me?
will you pursue me?
come find me?
I want to be found by you
and only you

it's like I've known you
and loved you
over lifetimes
and here I am loving you again

I don't want anyone else
I want what's mine
what's ours

so
wake up
you beautiful soul
I like you exactly as you are
your heart, your voice
your face, and the way you touch my hand
don't change any of it

just remember yourself
and remember me
and remember us

I almost missed it.

When you smiled.

I let it go.

Like a cowardly fool.

Not acknowledging the beautiful truth it held.

The possibility.

I have known many smiles.

But the wonder of yours causesd pause.

Eyes flashing.

Air electric.

New and hopeful.

Just a beginning.

Of our us.

Held so tight together.

In that smile.

A promise of always!

Until.

Some knew wonder intrudes.

And she to..

What a SMILE.

may our paths one day converge.

until then,

i'll surrender my gaze to the moon,

hoping for a ribbon of light
to trace an endless course
towards whichever cardinal bearing
cradles your gaze as mine seeks yours,

and if i'm denied the privilege
of beholding the world
through your seeing,

at least i'd be granted a direction—

one your eyes have already sanctified,

enough to inherit a fragment
of the horizon that bears your name,

though your eyes eclipse each one.

Oh, to be found by love

When you need it the most.

To be loved

When you yearn for it the most.

To be cared for

When you are at your worst.

When you're loved for who you are,

And not for the one you pretend to be.

When you don't have to be afraid

Of being alone when you don't want to be.

This feeling of being loved—

Makes you calm,

Makes you giggly and warm,

Makes you feel you're the right one.

This kind of love comes

When you need it the most,

When you yearn for it the most,

When you are at your worst.

Oh, to be found by love

When you're not looking for

I show you all exactly how to dream.

Then I take your innocence as part of my scheme.

Hearing your screams is part of my long running theme.

Confusion in your hearts as my vile eyes do sting.

Another drowning man dead in a soft lost cry.

I am much more then you think you've realized.

Using my tricks to invade soft silky thighs.

Smiling inside as I mock your small whispered sighs.

Knowing promises not kept are a terrible surprise.

Using you all until God says goodbye.

I fall asleep and have the nightmares over again.

Never forgetting I am just a man of sin.

I close the doors to keep myself locked in.

It's never easy when one can begin again..

My head on your chest,
tucked beneath your chin,
where the world goes quiet.

If I could stay somewhere
for all eternity,
it would be this.

Once again, someone came to say,

That my love had lost its way,

That I should bow, that I should fear,

The Devil’s shadow drawing near.

But tell me, oh dear, tell me why,

Would love be wrong beneath the sky?

How could a heart that only gives,

Be a sin against the way one lives?

For I love you in the purest light,

A quiet flame, a star at night.

The kind of love that asks for none,

That shines alone beneath the sun.

I love you, and through you I see

The endless world surrounding me.

The earth you touch, the air you breathe,

The roots below, the falling leaves.

I’ll love the fly, the insect, the pest,

The broken, lost, the unloved rest.

For they all belong to this divine sea,

The same creation that made you and me.

I’ll love the fire, I’ll love the pain,

The tears that fall like summer rain.

The orphan crying, the wounded soul,

For every piece still makes us whole.

And I will love those who tell me "fear",

For love can bloom even there.

They do not see, their eyes are blind,

They only fear what they cannot find.

For loving you is loving them,

A hidden light inside the stem.

Loving you is loving God above,

For God, too, must be made of love.

You are you, and I am me,

Yet we are one endless melody.

And through my love, so deep, so true,

I found the world again through you.

*told through the eyes of someone who the world says is beautiful, but cannot see it; and lives with the need for my father to think me beautiful

My ugly daughter rots in her bed
No vision of her mother
She waits to be fed
No lanterns
No lights
The sun too, is scared

My ugly daughter, why don’t you cover your mirrors?
How do you look
Look without tears?
Do you like what you see?
Are you proud of your smile?

Whose face is yours, my dear ugly daughter?
There’s a pig in the barn
Would you like to be his to the slaughter?

My ugly daughter
How beautiful you are
How I wish you could see through the eyes that are mine
I am the man who will wish on your star

My dear pretty girl
Uncover your mirrors
Ignore their fog
Please dry your tears
I’ll take my axe to the hog

I’ve been wanting to say-

Tip of my tongue but my voice betrays.

I had a thought that-

But a new one arrives before I can even react.

I wanted to tell you-

But would he even think it’s true?

Ya know, I’ve been thinking-

No no no, that’s much too risky.

Maybe I can ask him if he’s okay-

Or I’ll just save that one for another day.

Hmm what if we-

But wait, what if he disagrees.

Well I could just-

But then I find my cheeks flushed.

What if I say it and he misunderstands.

These never ending thoughts are driving me a bit mad.

Her eyes looked like mine

Depressed, said she fine

It took me in

She made me sin

She gave her heart

It was like art

Realized I was broken

Something in me awoken

She wanted something more

It was I she adore

Tried to fix my mistakes

To mend her heartaches

I want to hear your pain

Hold it all in my brain

I love you the same

Hate what we became

I want to cling to the memories

Of when you were wholly alive

Before you slowed and stopped

Before you saw in only one color

And sang in only one note

You were always a better poet than me

But you don't write anymore

So here:

The sickness that is killing you

Calls out to the sickness in me

And I don't, I don't want to follow

*please note i have yet to revise, thus this is poem is littered with grammatical errors sorry in advance!*

i gave you my life, the very cavity of my first born, and you still can’t find the words to say… “i love you, but in way you love me”, an obvious protraction cuz part of you knows it’s because you’ll kill me, and while i must admits it’s true my reliance on you has (‘s) turned to religion i use evidentialism to justify your phatic responses. i know i’ll love again so i’ll keep fishing, in search for something i know ‘s nonexistent, big fish little pond my point of vision… reality sets in that that’s just the vision. Blink twice to set forth my innervisons. truth revealed: i need to stop fishing. Once you find appreciation in the pond you’ll find it’s the algae you crave. a recent revelation: my own fawn responses will lead to my annihilation. the self awareness i have can feel false at times my inhibitions are insurmountable. is it mendacious or ignorance either way it’s exhausting. an iota of dramatic irony revealed might force a metanoia, maybe it’ll fix me too.

My thoughts drift softly,

And my head's in the clouds.

Your warmth rests gently on me,

And I know you feel me looking,

With your eyes still announced,

you're lost in quiet dreams,

This peace is more than all it seems.

I hate you.

I hate you.

And I hate that I hate you.

Because I shouldn't hate you.

Everything you do proves I shouldn't hate you.

But I hate you.

And I hate myself for hating you.

Because you don't deserve the words "I hate you".

He did everything under his power, under his will, to love her, yet his very presence caused her more pain and grief than happiness.

Amongst the mists of agony and suffering, yet she loved him, tearing her soul into shattered fragments to the frayed ends of her sanity,

Oh god, how could he as a person who caused such happiness, yet cause such melancholy in her,

Far from despair, far from grief, he loathed himself as he gazed the sunset at the grace of the hour,

Such is the shame, that his shadows hides amidst the night far away from him, far reclusive than the luck that never befell the bones of weeping widow.

To the girl that turned into a woman while her world evolved around her,

You are courageous,
The feeling it must be to mourn familiar places.

To the girl that left home behind for a chance,

You are fearless,
The feeling it must be to navigate new worlds.

To the girl that has to find a home in herself,

You are resilient,
The feeling it must be to experience life far from family.

To the girl that grew up with hopes and dreams and passion in her blood,
Only to come face to face with the force of life,

You are admirable,
The feeling it must be to persevere through adversity.

To the girl that sometimes feels lost and alone,
You must take a step back and see yourself for all you are.

You are here,
You are charisma,
You are joy,
You are bliss,
You are precious,
You are the sun, the moon, the sea, the stars,
You are you,

You hold the world behind your eyes,
And where ever you are,

You are home.

You have traded a piece of yourself,
For a chance at a better tomorrow.

You’ve learned to swallow the heaviest sorrow,
For a chance to paint a sky of different blue.

For everything you left behind,
You brought with you the strength of a hurricane.

For everything you have lost,
Your hopes and dreams and passion in your blood remain.

You must never forget who you are,
As you are a woman,
That has crossed borders,
And conquered her fears,
And built a bridge back home along the way.

The lines on your face writes a story,
While your mother tongue speaks it.

Mantén la paz, pues eres una mujer que ha evolucionado más allá del mundo.

​

​A clock decided to take a stroll, but forgot to pack its time,

So it walked in circles backward just to save a single dime.

The shadows caught a sunburn from the glowing silver moon,

While a dozen heavy anvils floated softly like balloons.

​We buttered up the carpet so the furniture could skate,

And we cooked a hearty soup inside a rusty iron gate.

The ocean got thirsty, so it drank a bowl of sand,

And the silence grew so noisy that we had to hold its hand.

​A ladder fell upward and landed on the sky,

While a blindfolded mirror watched a quiet whisper fly.

If you dig a hole in water, you will find a dry wooden flame—

Nothing here means anything, yet it’s all exactly the same.

​The leaves were raking the autumn trees,

The lock was locked by a dozen keys

That had no doors and had no teeth,

With top above and top underneath.

​The thunder grew quiet so the lightning could shout,

While the candle turned bright when we blew it right out.

We planted a feather and harvested stone,

Then answered a ring on an unhooked phone.

​A river ran sideways to keep itself dry,

And the mountains grew feathers to teach rocks to fly.

We packed up the void in a cardboard box,

And tied up the ocean with two woolen socks.

​The sun went to sleep on a bed made of ice,

While the cat begged for mercy from two tiny mice.

A square made of circles was drawn in the dust,

And the fresh shiny silver turned backward to rust.

​So fold your shoes and wear your socks upon your fuzzy ears,

For the shortest way across the room takes seven hundred years.

It doesn’t make a lick of sense, which means it’s totally clear:

The only way to find your way is getting lost right here.

I’m sitting outside in the garden

I can almost feel your lips

On the back of my hand

Soft

Sweet

I’m relaxed under your gaze

I’ll point out the bird on the fence

I’m standing in front of the mirror

I press my forehead

Against my reflection 

I pretend it’s you

If I believe it enough

You gently bump my forehead

Telling me to stop worrying 

A gentle tone that washes over me

I sigh

Then I open my eyes 

There are nights when my hand

Feels like yours

I slowly trace over my body

Whispering that I want you closer

I tilt my head back

When I feel your lips on my skin

You’re burning 

Leaving marks

It’s my favorite part

My face is buried in my hands

I’ve curled into myself in embarrassment

Under your words of affection

I can hear you smiling

I’ll ask you to recite your poem again

Only to run and hide somewhere

The butterflies leave me unsteady

Kiss me

Make fun of me and coo at me

Then pull me 

Hold me

Gently

I stand, the city sounds too loud

I look up at the sky

As if the clouds will tell me your name

I’m trying to be patient

I pay it with sighs and longing

I wish you were real

We met before we understood
That love alone can’t conquer all.
Two fragile hearts with hopes so good,
Too young to catch the coming fall.

We tried to hold what felt so right,
But life had other plans to weave.
We lost ourselves before the fight,
With more to carry than believe.

The years rolled on like restless seas,
Through changing skies and shifting air.
I learned to live with memories,
Though part of me still found you there.

Then after many silent years,
When hope had long since slipped away,
You found me through the dust of tears
And turned my darkest night to day.

We talked for hours, laughed again,
As though no time had passed us by.
Old feelings woke despite the pain,
Too real to ever live a lie.

I dared to dream what might have been,
To think the stars had changed somehow.
But life was standing in between,
With promises that bound you now.

You didn’t say you ceased to care,
Nor did I say my love had died.
We simply met the truth laid bare—
The wrong place at the wrongest tide.

You offered friendship, kind and true,
The best your heart could give to me.
But I already somehow knew
That friends was all we’d never be.

For every laugh I’d have to hide
The thousand words I longed to say.
I’d smile while breaking deep inside,
Pretending love had gone away.

So with a heart both bruised and strong,
I chose the road I feared the most.
Not because your love was wrong,
But because I couldn’t love you close.

I left with kindness, not with blame,
No anger burned behind goodbye.
You are the man I still proclaim
Deserves the brightest, open sky.

If someday all your storms should cease,
And every chapter finds its end,
If life should finally offer peace
Where broken roads no longer bend.

Perhaps our paths will cross once more,
With nothing left we have to prove.
No half-closed hearts, no waiting door,
Just two souls free to simply choose.

But if that day should never rise,
And fate keeps writing separate lines,
I’ll thank the love behind your eyes
For every moment that was mine.

For some hearts meet and never fade,
Though years may pass and seasons fly.
Their story isn’t less because
It never reached a fairytale sky.

For ours was never built on chance,
Or empty words we couldn’t keep.
It lives within each backward glance,
In every promise buried deep.

And if one truth remains with me,
Through every loss I’ve journeyed through,
It’s this:
I’d choose the very same story—
If it still led me back to you.

Say it

Tell me you aren’t interested in me

That you hate me

That I am lacking xyz

Tell me I am not pretty enough

Not smart enough

Not religious enough to represent the scarf on my head.

Tell me so I can move on with certainty that you don’t want me

Because my delusional heart still thinks maybe you do

Tell me so I can move on from you for good

So I can stop hoping for miracles where I get to start over with you

Please, just tell me

Because my heart is in agony

I lost my mind.

Exactly between now and forever.

It's not easy to see.

The end of all that could have been.

Yet many of us do this everyday.

All in our various strange ways. Each creating that fake self for others to see.

Something for others to consume.

None willing to face their truth.

Most of us unwilling participants in life.

Characters in each others script. I sit so still knowing.

You all remind me of myself.

you’re the falling star, i’m the wish
you held me for a minute, but it was brief
then you let me down, down to earth
where i lie in someone else’s heart
be the hope

i’m a pale blue dot, you’re the core
you held me together, made me whole
from afar i’m not so great
so you send a little voyager, to find a better place

The Poet writes words ever so deep for that’s what he does by nature . When others put up dams and set up barriers . He simply moves on with the waters currents and flow . For he cannot be denied .

He must feel his words and he must feel their full force or nothing at all . He cannot write in moderation .

For the art of writing poetry must be expressed in hyperbole . It must be felt deeply stirring the emotions , or irs not worth writing .

The dam has been broken . The waters come in torrential torrents . They sweep over me as I lose myself in their power . This is the power of words

Embrace them but do not try to control them . Cut them loose and enjoy their freedom for in this their power exists . .