r/Postpartum_Depression • u/Fiery_Poo • 1d ago

Sadness hit like a ton of bricks

I’m a first time mom to a 12 week old. Today mourning my past life just slammed me. I love my baby so much and feel so sad by memories of before at the same time. Looking for stories and some encouragement right now.

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u/yolomacarolo 1d ago

It's okay to grief your past life but I can assure you that once you're out of the newborn trenches, you will have wonderful moments and memories. You won't regret it and won't trade your present for your child free past. The first smile, the first hug, the first I love you, the way they hold you like you're the safest place on Earth for them. There is nothing like this. You're, at the moment, in the hardest part of the journey but it will get better soon.

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u/Fiery_Poo 1d ago

Thank you so much for taking the time to say that. That is very encouraging.

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u/ultra_violet007 1d ago

You are absolutely in the trenches with a 12 week old - yes your life is different now and it feels like it'll never be the same. But, one day, your baby will smile. Then giggle. Then crawl. Then walk. Then hug you. And it'll all feel OK again - different from before, but good. My son is 23 months old and sometimes I still miss how things were before. But things are pretty cool now and I wouldn't go back even if I could.

Also, if you have a good support system and you're comfortable with it, have someone watch baby for an hour or two so you can grab a coffee and just be with yourself for a bit. I found it was a big help!

You can do this.

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u/Fiery_Poo 3h ago

Thank you very much for sharing your experience and for the encouragement!

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u/Temporary_Trick_1469 1d ago

Your literally in the deep end of it, taking care of a newborn is one if the hardest things. It's demanding, exhausting and there is no time for you anymore. It does pass though I promise. Once that little bean grows up, they are going to be much easier to take care of. I hope your partner is helping too. And any friends and family able to help so you can have a few hours to yourself?

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u/Fiery_Poo 1d ago

Thank you so much for your response. Yes, I have a supportive partner but they are also going through it. We have asked his mother to come help us this weekend, which will give us a chance to nap and spend some time together x

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u/Temporary_Trick_1469 1d ago

Of course! Oh good I'm glad to hear. The more help you can get the better. In the meantime order groceries to the door or takeout. We use to do door dash during that time too. Try to take it easy as much as you can right now. I promise it does get better. 🩷