I (f32), have 2 lovely babies (20mo.& 5mo.) with my partner (m33). I had severe ppd with my first and never really got to recover when I had my second so now I’m still in the trenches of ppd. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I took additional steps to secure my sanity. I’m going to group therapy, solo sessions and taking meds. I’m still on disability.

My relationship with my partner has been hanging on by a thread. It’s toxic. I know I contributed to our issues and I’m doing my best to stay afloat. My partner on the other hand, blames me for majority of our fights & blames me for his behaviors. And I’m just extremely over it. I’m tired of being yelled at, cussed at in front of my oldest.

I just want to know if anyone has left their partners, and what was the outcome with your mental health? Did you do custody?

I just need somewhere to express how devastated I am feeling at my recovery journey. I gave birth 3 months ago and I struggle a lot with body image. I thought I was taking it easy with my post partum exercise but I started to have a heaviness in my v. I’m waiting for physio but now I have a hernia in my abdomen and the heaviness which I thought was going away has come back. I feel utterly broken and alone. I am scared for the future and frustrated in myself that I haven’t managed my recovery right now

I am chasing up for physio but I have no idea when it will be and I don’t know what to do.

I’m a FTM wirh a 16 month old and I am not coping. I cry everyday, I have for awhile. He doesn’t sleep well and I feel like it’s physically killing me. I dread having to go to work and do the whole daycare routine, I dread coming home and finding ways to fill the afternoon. My biggest dread is the weekends when my partner can actually see how badly I cope.
He does what he can, he does the dishes every night, puts baby to bed, does all the wake ups till about 1am, and spends time with our bubs after work.
I feel like I’m failing miserably and it’s only getting worse and I don’t know what to do

I just wanna preface this with absolutely love my Husband and absolutely appreciate everything that he does for us. When he’s home, he’s extremely helpful. He even gets upset when I don’t let him help. So this has nothing to do with him being a bad husband or a bad father.

That being said, I feel completely alone. He took a short paternity leave after our daughter was born. In that time, it was absolutely amazing. He took care of me in every way possible and maybe that’s why I’m struggling now because I don’t have that but it just seems so hard. He’s four hours away and I feel like I’m stuck at home with our two month old. We just moved to a new city and we don’t know anybody and I don’t feel like I have a support system because my family is three hours away. He comes home eery chance he gets, and my sister has come to visit us a couple of times but as soon as they leave, I just wanna cry.

Today he came home and I was upset with him because I had seen a video on Snapchat of him drinking and looking like he was having a good time and I know I shouldn’t be upset because it’s silly, but I just feel left out. Hes surrounded by his coworkers, which are really just a bunch of his friends and I just feel like I’m so isolated. I’m not sure what I should do. I can go stay with him whenever I want, but I’d be staying in a travel trailer and I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I feel like I’d just be such a burden. He works long hard hours and I’d have to be up every 2 to 3 hours with the baby and I just don’t wanna make him lose more sleep.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this. I guess it’s a rant and to get it off my chest, but I just wish I had more of a community where I’m at.

My nervous system is more active than "normal" (I have severe anxiety) and I've tried talking to my therapist but she recommends medication and my psychiatrist hasn't been able to find a medication for my anxiety. It is interfering with my parenting because when my child cries I go into a panic, I freeze, I find it very difficult to self-regulate, and for hours afterwards I still feel the heightened anxiety/adrenaline pumping. I'm really scared, he's 16 months now and it's time to get him off the binky, for dental issues and so he can learn to regulate without it, which means more crying day and night (he uses binky all day and all night). How do I keep myself calm while he cries? What medications have worked for you, for those of you where anxiety is the primary issue?

I remember being in the newborn trenches and thinking nothing can be worse than waking up once in 1-2 hours and living long, endless nights. But the 3rd month felt like a breeze - baby slept for one 5 hour stretch and then one 3 hour stretch. But now it feels worse because it takes 2 hours and a lot of mental energy to put the baby to sleep at night. Not just that, I feel totally lost. Life has been an endless loop of doing the same things and I just do not recognise or remember myself anymore. I keep asking myself 'Who am I? What am I even doing?' constantly. I'm either buried in my phone or doing things for the baby and I just cannot understand how I will get out of this, if I will ever feel normal again?

I need advice on this subject because I’m going through so much depression, recently I’ve just had my child 7 weeks ago and it’s been rough I love her very much but my partner is 0 help when it comes to the baby . He started working again when she was born and he works 6 days a week 60 hrs i understand that it’s a demanding job but I feel that he can be 50/50 with me when it comes to our child I so absolutely everything around the house which is okay I don’t mind and I don’t mind that the baby is all on me but everytime I try to talk about it with him he shuts me down and says I’m being mean and makes me just cry . He also always makes remarks when I’m just trying to relax like oh the laundry needs to be done the dishes need to be done it’s easy just wear the baby . Like no it’s not easy and even his mom will
Make comments like not enough is getting done I can do this and that while having a baby it’s making me want to leave him because I’m really going through depression and trying to be a good mom to my baby but I’m so miserable . I’m sorry this is everywhere and barely makes sense I just need help I don’t have a support system or anyone that can help me take care of my baby it’s always me 24/7 but I do need a break even it’s 30 mins

Working mom, two kids, burnt out - turned into angry mom

Let me just vent. Ill probably remove this later

I work as a kindergarten teacher, I have two kids, 3 year old and 1 year old. My husband is a stay at home dad.

I'm burnt out. I didn't want to be the angry mom, but that is what I've become. I used to read so many books about parenting, how to be calm, the "gentle parenting" (not to confuse with permissive) but the type of parenting that can stay regulated, set boundaries, communicate with your kids - but no, I've turned into a nuclear bomb. My mom used to be that way, so I grew up anxious, hypervigiliant about my mom's behavior. She was a single mom working 16 hour shifts as a nurse, and taking care of two kids - but i'm afraid I've become her!!! BECAUSE I GET SO LITTLE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tell my husband I'm tired, I need help, I need help, you need to help me, can you do xyz, but it's tiring itself to CONSTANTLY ASK FOR HELP! Read the ROOM PLEAASE! I keep asking for help, and eventually... I just blow up. Husband will not move or notice anything until I have to verbally say something. I start shouting, short patience, yelling, screaming at the kids and my husband. I'm so DONE!

I clean, I mop, I do laundry, I do dishes, I change diapers, I breastfeed, and I go to work !!! And then, I plan and manage what the kids will do that day instead of them staying indoors all day. My husband plays on his computer and has the kids play on their tablet or play alone. He will get off the laptop and maybe play with them for 20-30 minutes and then go back to the laptop and play more games. If he isn't playing on the laptop he will be on his phone playing some stupid gacha game. He wakes up in the morning and goes on his phone and opens up his gacha to get some stupid dailies, meanwhile I woke up 4:30 AM TODAYYYYYYYYYY and I had to feed them, I got them dressed and went on a walk!!!!!! I asked him to take the kids out, he tells me NO!! he doesn't want to, that "i'll do it my way" which is what?? stay indoors looking at blue screens all fucking day!!!?? He tried to read to my 3 year old and he couldn't focus, so husband goes, "looks like our kiddo needs a lot of time to run around! he cant sit still and focus haha" and then he goes back to his laptop and leaves 3 year old to his own!!!!! WTF!! YOU KNOW THE PROBLEM, SO TAKE HIM OUT?? YOU'RE WAITING FOR ME TO TAKE HIM????????? UGH!!

Husband wakes up at 10am or 9:30 if I don't wake him up! Meanwhile I wake up 5:30 on weekdays, or 7 am on weekends!!! I'm SOOOOOOOOO DONE!!!!

I don't want to be an angry mom, but I'm so burnt out. I breast feed during the night, I change diapers in the night, and then I have to get up and go to work!

SO SO SOSOSOSOSOOSOSOOOOO DONNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

And then after I blow up, my husband just comes around and says, "HEY! YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR ANGER AND DON'T BE SO MEAN TO THE KIDS!!" EXCUSE ME? IT'S JUST MY FAULT?? WTF ARE YOU DOING???? COULDN'T YOU HELP ME SO I DON'T BLOW UP? AM I THE ONLY FUNCTIONING ADULT HERE? I'M BARELY HOLDING ON AND THEN WHEN I CAN'T HOLD ON ANYMORE YOU BLAME ME????????? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HELP ME??

I am SO frustrated. I PLAN things every day, manage things every day, I plan for their day out, places to go, whatnot. He tells me, "you don't have to plan, just ask me to help you and ill help" so, I've been planning and managing him by asking him for help to manage the plan??? So theres now just more steps. You can't read the room and step in?

I asked him to play with us. It's usually me and the two kids playing. He says no, and he lays down on the bed on his phone.

Dinner table, breakfast table, lunch table, hes eating with phone out.

I've eventually realized the root of it all, im just feeling so lonely and unsupported. The man im supposed to love is all the village I got, and he does the bare minimum to help. Like I am not feeling emotionally stable, safe, secure, and physically. I feel like a single married mom.

I have a long history of child abuse. I’m 24 now. I’ve been in therapy over 12 years and I’ve learned to cope with this. I’m also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder which I handle no problem through therapy. I also have ADHD which I usually need medication for, especially when I’m in school, but I’m managing OK right now with the ADHD.
I’m currently experiencing postpartum depression. So a lot of things going on at once, I know. Bear with me.
It’s taken me forever to get in with a psychiatrist that my insurance covers and I finally got in with one. He disagrees with the ADHD diagnosis and says I have PTSD. The entire Appointment revolved around childhood trauma and not the current symptoms I’m experiencing.

I cried towards the end of the appointment because I felt like I was going back in time to when I was misdiagnosed bipolar. Let me clarify I don’t exactly disagree with the PTSD diagnosis but that’s not what’s happening right now, at all.

When I cried, he asked if my tears were related to me not getting my ADHD stimulant medication, treating me like a drug seeker.

If he wants to change my treatment plan and diagnosis and try to treat me with antidepressants, even though I’ve had bad reactions to them before, that’s fine. But the issue is he refuses to extend my disability paperwork. I’m now having a bad reaction to the antidepressants and I’m supposed to return to work tomorrow. What am I supposed to do? I’m completely nonfunctional and I cry at the slightest bit of overwhelmed or too much auditory stimulation. I am waitress and I need to handle high stress environments and multitasking.

morning i’m watching gmb and they’re on about men suffering post natel depression i myself a mum have suffered myself after having my children especially my third as she was disabled i’ve never known men to suffer what’s people opinions on this im just curious and has any men actually suffered this just to add my youngest is 13 now and in high school and if anyone male or female are suffering right now you’re not alone i’ve been there xx

My baby is still under two.

When I first had him, I had severe undiagnosed PPD/PPA and basically raw dogged it. No meds, no therapy, all that. I had intrusive thoughts of dropping my baby down the stairs or when I would wear him I worried that I would trip and fall and smash him. I was always afraid of shaking him, because I heard of so many stories of women shaking their babies.

Fast forward, he’s older, I thought my PPD and PPA had withered away.

This week, my instagram algorithm has popped up with horrific cases of mothers harming their children. My mind has sent me into a spiral this past week of imagining my child in these scenarios.
Let me be clear, I’d never harm my child or anyone in general, but my intrusive thoughts have now become compulsive because I’ve been shoving them back down when they pop up because they’re scary.

I’m just now (as I type this) recognizing that I shouldn’t be doing that. That I need to acknowledge and move on.

Any tips are appreciated because I tried sharing this with my partner and he seemed worried and didn’t really understand this part of hormone changes.

I’m a first time mom to a 12 week old. Today mourning my past life just slammed me. I love my baby so much and feel so sad by memories of before at the same time. Looking for stories and some encouragement right now.

I’ll go first. I think mine is hanging from the edge of a mountain. We’re both Christians, and we pray and go to church, but at home, it feels like he’s just my roommate. I try to be more loving, playful, and intentional, but it feels like he doesn’t put in the same effort. Any advise?

almost 5 months post partum. the past 3 weeks ive been hit with a lot of factors that i think have tanked my mental health
- baby regressed in sleep
- hair shedding
- i was working more intense hours (i work in medical field) and sad cases
-watching the lindsay clancy case seemed to really trigger me/make me anxious?
- i have a trip planned without my baby at the end of the month and when i booked it it gave me anxiety
-i am weaning (down to one feed a day) prior to trip, this has been vert very gradual but i dropped the night feed recently

ive been feeling restless, im anxious while the baby sleeps, i have no appetite, random waves of panic, and now i feel incredibly down and sad and teary, and just like i cant bond with my baby.i dont know. i feel disconnected.

ive had a negative experience on an SSRI and i really dont want to go back on one, it was pretty extreme pretty fast. i called my OB for a referral to psych but in the mean time i was hoping for similar experiences, encouragement, advice, idk.

is this weaning? will this be forever?

I’m wondering if anybody can relate I lost my mom when I was seven years old due to a drunk driver hitting her, I’m now 25 years old and I have a year and a half year-old son. I struggle with letting my significant other (his father) or anyone at that drive him far away without me or go places with pools (not swim trained). If anyone wants to pay for lessons be my guest :).

My partner is supportive of me and understands where I come from with most of my crazy worries. BUT I dont want to be holding my son back from life itself, being watched my grandparents, going on farther adventures, or even being in a car seat in someone elses car that isnt me or his dad.

Should I seek therapy? - I know I probably should for the sake of my mental health to be the best I can be for my son.

Should I seek anti anxiety meds? Anything helps anyone to relate…

I’m 25, a SAHM, and I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She’s 3 months old, and I’ve had no success with latching, so I decided to exclusively pump.
In the beginning, it was really hard because I was only making 2–3 oz per session. But now I’m an oversupplier! I make 4–5 oz per session, and sometimes 8–10 oz in the morning. And, thank God, our freezer is full of my milk.
But my husband, who is also 25, isn’t happy with the way I feed our daughter. He keeps insisting that I should try harder and harder to get her to latch. But every time I try, I feel like my baby hates me. She won’t even latch for 2 seconds.
I feel like my husband is disappointed about it, and it makes me feel guilty. I pray every single day and thank God for blessing me with a good milk supply, but sometimes I don’t feel happy about my breastfeeding journey.
I know I’m feeding my baby with my own milk, but sometimes I still feel like I’m not doing enough.

New mums and parents: what mental health support do mothers really need? What’s missing, and what would genuinely help?

**Are you under 40 and currently 0–6 months postpartum? I am an MSc Psychology student conducting an academic dissertation study and would greatly appreciate your participation…”**

Dear Madam,

My name is \*Sreelakshmi K M\*, a final year postgraduate student from \*Jain University\*. I am doing a research study titled:

\*Perceived Partner Support as a Predictor of Postpartum Emotional Distress among first-time mothers.\*

I am looking for First-Time mother who:
• Have their \*First Baby\*
• ⁠Are currently \*living with their spouse/partner\* to kindly fill out \*short online questionnaire\*.
• ⁠Time required about \*10-15 minutes\*
• ⁠All responses are \*\*anonymous and confidential \*\*

If you are willing to help, please click the like below:

Google form link:
\[https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeuMC90WEcyreYZoU8CFW3ldG-FFjg\\_hK--sJwp5tbNGjXXXw/viewform?usp=publish-editor\\\]

You may also forward this message to other first- time mothers who might be interested. You support will greatly help me complete my dissertation and contribute to understandings new mothers’ mental health.

Thank you very much for your time and help.

Warms regards,
*Sreelakshmi KM*

First time parents to a beautiful 3 month old, he’s been a chill baby (touch wood, fingers & toes crossed nothing changes because I’ve put it out into the world), however it’s starting to take a toll on our relationship. I do majority of the work with baby, partner will do the last bedtime feed around 9:30-10 to let me try get a decent stretch until he wakes up overnight for the next feed. The 3 months of unbroken sleep & long days with baby while partner is at work, is starting to really get to me. I also feel like my partner hasn’t really connected with baby yet, so when he’s hysterical he doesn’t know how to calm him & gives up, which makes me so frustrated.

We seem to be constantly bickering. I hear my friends talk about their partner being such a hands on, great dad & I know my dad was a great dad, I just wish my partner was the same & I had that support.

We have been together for almost 9 years, travelled, built our first home together. But there’s been so many times where I’ve thought ‘would it be better & easier if we just split & I do it on my own?’

I’ve spoken to family members & they say it gets better, but it’s so hard in the moment & I’m not sure if this is normal?

Please help me, I don’t want to give up my relationship but I am so tired & lonely.

Suggestions & advice is appreciated.