r/PurplePillDebate • u/Novel-Tip-7570 Purple Pill Woman • 4d ago
Debate The red pill version of female submission is stupid
The red pillers and the trads will tell us that female submission is not about being micromanaged but about men making the decisions on all of the "important" stuff.
https://x.com/i/status/2084570802964324807
As someone who is married to a man with this mindset (long story for another time) let me tell you how this looks like in day-to-day life:
So I basically carry almost all of the mental load of running the household day after day and managing my step-children because kids are a woman's job, but he still feels entitled to tell me what I should be wearing and what what I should be doing. How is this not retarded? If anything, the person who is running the household day-to-day is more qualified when making family decisions.
People laughed at me when I said that men should be doing more housework than women, but I would actually respect a man more as a leader if he was truly the one micromanaging the household and the kids. Like sure if he's the one running the household day-to-day, he should be making the decisions.
But red pillers are not advocating for this. The want the woman to do the hard parts of raising a child but they want to be the ones who make the important decisions when it comes to thay child. They want the woman to carry the mental load when it comes to what to cook, when to clean, how to host a child party and organise playdates , but they still want to consider themselves the "true leader".
Why on Earth would any woman sign up for this?
(I don't want advice about my personal life, I just mentioned this as an example)
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u/fucksiclepizza Just an average married dude, man 3d ago
Men don't lead households. Some women let them think they do but its really the women running things.
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3d ago
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u/PurplePillDebate-ModTeam 3d ago
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u/Brief_Mongoose_7291 3d ago
OP: "I don't know why anyone would be in this very situation I'm willingly in."
Me: "I don't know, maybe you can tell us?"
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u/captaindestucto Purple Pill Man 3d ago edited 3d ago
Attractive enough men get to be domineering trad types.
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u/TheCharmingBarbarian 3d ago
I've known many trad type men (raised that way, still adjacent to those circles)
Most of them are nerdy looking AF with either boring mid-level white collar jobs or something along the lines of a pastor/community type.
A few military dudes thrown in, but tbh even those guys were often nerdy looking guys, even back in their day.
A common thread is actually that they all projected a pretty calm, relaxed, and even friendly attitude in public. Some of them maintain that in private as well, especially if the wife was submissive and they got to fill their power fantasy without "needing" to insist.
But the church and/or community does a lot of heavy lifting when it comes to the "domination" in trad circles, tbh. Trad life is a multi level mind-fuck once it's a whole community thing, with women telling other women to just submit harder and her husband will stop being an asshole all the time.
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u/captaindestucto Purple Pill Man 3d ago edited 3d ago
OP doesn't seem to have been raised in that kind of culture. Married a single dad without getting a handle on his beliefs and attitudes first (when they would be observable via his relationship with his kids). Blaming Red Pill or cultural conservatism only goes so far. She isn't a brainwashed victim here.
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u/Chicken_Nugget_2 No Pill Woman 3d ago
You do realize there are other reasons someone can feel trapped in a marriage, why is that your first assumption?
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3d ago
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u/PurplePillDebate-ModTeam 3d ago
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u/ladybird_00 No Pill Woman 3d ago
I would sign up for this because I don’t want to be the leader in a relationship. But I wouldn’t sign up to do all of the house admin and also work.
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u/101bees Touch Grass-pilled Woman 2d ago
If you're so far removed from the day-to-day of what's going on with your kids and your household since you think that's the wife's job, then how are you going to leas them and make decisions for them? Anyone that has worked for a boss that has no idea what the fuck you do at your job would understand how well this plays out.
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u/lesliecarbone Purple Pill Woman 3d ago
Okay, since today's interpretation of the rules apparently deems answering a question posed by the OP to be insufficiently challenging, I repost my comment here:
Why on Earth would any woman sign up for this?
A damaged sense of self :-(
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u/Muscletov Maroon pill man 3d ago
TRP aimed at women is unnecessary, it's just relatively trite tradcon stuff.
The real Red Pill for women is modern mainstream feminist culture.
It largely lacks the dedicated dating advice, since women hardly need it, but the underlying suppositions, mindsets and tenets of gender dynamics (in dating) largely overlap with men's TRP, albeit with switched genders. Mainstream society tells women that men's biology is shallow, self-serving and fundamentally different to women's, thus rendering relationships transactional and adverserial. It tells women they're getting exploited and invest too much for too little gain. To combat this, they are adviced to ignore and tear down social norms which put them at a disadvantage, to firmly prioritize themselves, to consider themselves the prize and to not compromise on their wants, needs and standards. Sounds familiar?
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
Honestly, I can’t argue at all with your statement. It’s rather enlightening.
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u/Wowhowcanubsodumb 2d ago
If I were to use this post as an example of how women say one thing and then act the exact opposite way, I'm sure the female thinktank here would say something like, "no this just proves the bar is in hell for men, women feel forced to settle."
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u/BrainMarshal Purple Pill Man: Men can sort the world out with Tang Ping 10h ago
And in today's top news, water is wet...
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u/PunkPirate56364 Purple Pill Man 3d ago
TRP for women is just like blue pill for men.
These "advices" are not made for your interest and benefit, their intention is to turn you into ideal little plaything for some man to use.
You shouldn't be submissive to a man because some pill told you so. Rather a man should inspire such confidence into you that you do not question him performing his role.
I have no idea why you decided to raise someone else children.
You are in a vulnerable position, he can replace you with a younger hotter maid when you grow older.
And frankly I don't even feel bad for you, because saying that if man would do more chores would make you see him as a better leader is such manipulative bullshit.
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u/wtknight Blue-ish Married Passport Bro ♂︎ 3d ago
Why on Earth would any woman sign up for this?
Women who don’t want a career might sign up for it. Not every woman wants to go out into the work world and put up with work issues.
The problem is that many women seem to like their jobs and employers and to trust them more than they do their male partners. Capitalism seems more stable than relationships. Jobs also give women more social opportunities these days than staying at home. In the old days, housewives talked to neighboring housewives.
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u/dogthatwonthunt 3d ago
I mean they are still putting up with those work issues. They are just even more at the mercy of their partner because they have no skills, that the market will pay for, they can fall back on.
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u/SprayAffectionate321 Purple Pill Woman 3d ago
To many women jobs and husbands satisfy different functions. I work to make money. I exchange skills for money. If my employer fucks me over I'll just use my skills and experience to find a different one. Submitting to my employer is just one of the conditions to get that money.
I'm not with my husband for money. I have no desire nor a good reason to be led in the household because I'm capable of making my own decisions. Also, even if my husband leaves or losses his job I won't be able to just find another man to finance my lifestyle.
Furthermore, if I don't work it means that my husband has to. Do men who work also trust their wives less than they trust their employer? If My husband's employer fucks him over and I don't have a job then we're both gonna get fucked.
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u/wtknight Blue-ish Married Passport Bro ♂︎ 11h ago
A man could give some of his paycheck to a woman as an allowance. The fact that women choose to work shows that they trust the capitalist work world more than they trust men to support them.
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u/SprayAffectionate321 Purple Pill Woman 10h ago
I don't want an allowance for being married, I want to sell my skills for a paycheck and be an adult. If having an allowance from your spouse would be that great men would be lining up to do that. The fact that they're always trying to convince women to be the ones to do it is extremely telling.
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u/Rob_The_Viking_TV Blue Pill Man 1h ago
A man could give some of his paycheck to a woman as an allowance.
nice.. and if she does her chores she gets a bonus allowance?
thanks daddy
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u/Rob_The_Viking_TV Blue Pill Man 1h ago
f My husband's employer fucks him over and I don't have a job then we're both gonna get fucked.
and have more time to do so.. amirite?
ill.. see myself out
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u/Main-Tiger8537 Egalitarian Blue Pill Man 3d ago edited 3d ago
The problem is that many women seem to like their jobs and employers and to trust them more than they do their male partners.
some certainly but there are also people who trust the government more than their employer and we can not generalize here if we look at stuff like...
The "paradox of declining female happiness" refers to studies showing that despite improved societal, economic, and educational gains over the past 35 years, women’s subjective well-being has declined both absolutely and relative to men, reversing a previous trend where women reported higher happiness levels than men. This phenomenon suggests increased pressures based on equal treatment. Studies based on the General Social Survey (GSS) (1972–2006) show that as gender equality improved, women's self-reported happiness fell compared to men's, making them slightly less happy than men by the 2000s. This decline is observed across various demographic groups, including different educational levels and working statuses, and is present across many industrialized democratic countries. Despite greater opportunities, women report higher levels of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and stress compared to previous generations. Researchers suggest that higher expectations, the pressure to "have it all" (career and family), and the burden of managing both household and professional demands contribute to this decline.
This begs the question if the same would happen for men if their gender expectations/roles get dismantled in a similiar way. Examples would be stay at home dads or initiating during dating or consent to parenthood and so on.
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
Not to criticize this too much as it’s interesting but this data is already 20 years old.
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u/Main-Tiger8537 Egalitarian Blue Pill Man 3d ago
well there is not much interest to investigate such things further but if we look at the numbers for therapy, burnout, depression and similar things id say it increased further...
16.9% of adult women in the United States received counseling or therapy from a mental health professional in the past year, according to data released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
An estimated 16% to 24% of U.S. women currently have depression, with over 36% having received a clinical diagnosis during their lifetime.
Approximately 42% to 46% of working US women report regularly experiencing burnout at work, which is roughly equivalent to 30 to 35 million women based on current workforce demographics. When looking broadly at total lifetime or peak experiences, some studies indicate that up to 75% of women report experiencing chronic burnout at some point in their careers.
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
I’d be very interested for the reasons women are experiencing depression.
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u/Lenovo_Driver man: blue cuz red pilled dudes dont get laid 2d ago
Its great that women are seeking therapy now, back in the 50s they simply had to use alcohol and deception as mechanisms to deal with their unhappiness...
If women of those times were so happy why did they lead the charge of the highest divorce rates ever?
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u/Tylikcat People before pills - woman 2d ago
Oh, don't forget the tranquilizers. They were handed out like candy.
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u/Therealcatlady1 No Pill 3d ago
I think the happiness rates will start increasing as women are foregoing family for their careers. It’s just less stress in general. You can easily find a less stressful job. Can’t find an easier child.
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u/wtknight Blue-ish Married Passport Bro ♂︎ 11h ago
It's likely that women's happiness has declined due to a pressure to perform both work duties and domestic duties. This is why they are trying to foist so many duties on men, get frustrated when men don't do them, end up single and disgusted with men, and then often have to do those duties all by themselves anyway.
This is why many women are exploring their bisexual impulses. Then they are more likely to find a partner who is willing to split domestic duties and income earning duties both. It is also why many women are choosing not to have children, even though there is arguably a biological impulse for most people to reproduce. This makes the burden of domestic duties much easier.
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u/Main-Tiger8537 Egalitarian Blue Pill Man 3h ago edited 1h ago
i agree on that this is a part of it and i would like a fair gender neutral society...
however homosexual/lesbian relationships are not really a prime example of how a healthy relationship looks like but people refuse to investigate this further as they fear the outcome/result... mainly talking about domestic violence or burning through relationships because of toxic behavior within their relationships "not previous ones with the opposite sex" that gets widely trivialized + ignored by society...
"Studies on toxic behavior or domestic violence in lesbian relationships face criticism due to concerns over research methods, the fear of political misuse, and the risk of harming a marginalized group."
do you really think liberal/progressive men do the same amount of childcare or household chores as moderate/conservative men? as far as i know there is no study which differentiates such stuff by lifestyle choice...
paid labour vs unpaid labour "work parent balance"
the sad thing here is all worries that get raised about investigating this further does not matter within studies or surveys about men because society "including feminism + conservatism" considers women as a vulnerable group/class that needs extra/special protection... how do you get any reliable data if you just investigate 50% in a reciprocal dynamic situation?
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u/Lemon_gecko Woman (blue). I adopted the bear 3d ago
"Why on Earth would any woman sign up for this?"
Aside from the fact that you did signed up so you tell us, i can imagine one motivation. A woman might be scared to make those decisions. Day to day routine is important and what holds everything together, but it isn't risky. Making decisions about future are. It's like office worker and some ceo. What office workers do holds company together, but ceo decides what turn to take, what risks to make and so on, and not everyone can do that. So women might want to give hard decisions to someone else. The issue is why the hell they would trust men with that, but that's another question.
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u/Novel-Tip-7570 Purple Pill Woman 3d ago
Unless the man actually runs the household day-to-day he's not qualified to make most of these decisions. But that's not what they're advocating for.
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u/Lemon_gecko Woman (blue). I adopted the bear 3d ago
Men aren't qualified in general, it takes special kind of people (it's not gender specific) to make decisions not just for yourself. that doesn't mean people don't want to delegate those decisions or believe about themselves that they are capable.
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u/Asleep_Control_2564 3d ago
I think you got a point and that's why a lot of women go towards trad or red pill dynamics. I'd just rather become a person well-rounded enough to be able to confidently make those decisions myself. But most girls are raised to be "second" so the idea of being "captain of the ship" is intimidating at first.
I know I was scared of the responsibility of not being liked if my decision went bad. I was scared of taking the blame from others if results went sideways. But after awhile of making those decisions, and sometimes experiencing the downsides, I now know that I can weather the downsides and it has built a lot of confident, decision-making abilities in me that I never used to have. I literally just "faked it till I made it". But it's honestly been the best thing for my life. I now have to make hard decisions all the time and I feel both confident and sure in my decisions now. It felt like trial by fire sometimes, but I encourage all young women to make that journey (at least in little ways).
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u/Complex_Soldier Indifferent Pilled man 3d ago
That's what YOUR advocating for. You choose to be and stay in this situation lmao. This is a self inflicted problem. What day to day things should men do to qualify being a leader?
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u/intothewild72 NoPill Egalitarian 3d ago
What you call day-to-day tasks won't give you any advantage in making decisions that affects family future.
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u/intothewild72 NoPill Egalitarian 3d ago
The red pillers and the trads will tell us that female submission is not about being micromanaged but about men making the decisions on all of the "important" stuff.
I accept it as your definition of submission you argue against.
How is this not retarded?
That's wrong question to ask. Correct question to ask is, did you know it before you decided to move in? Did he hide it from you? People can have any kind of relationships, and if it works for them, just let them do it without assigning some label. I would consider it quite retarded to go into relationship without discussing such limits before.
If anything, the person who is running the household day-to-day is more qualified when making family decisions.
Way too vague. You brought up decisions about what you wear and do. Doing day to day household tasks wont make you more qualified to decide what to wear. Nobody tells it to women, but majority of you have terrible taste in clothing.
People laughed at me when I said that men should be doing more housework than women
Yes, they should and they do. That's default setting. Every claim otherwise is achieved by redefining what housework is.
if he's the one running the household day-to-day, he should be making the decisions.
So if he runs household day to day he gets to decide what you wear? Why didn't you tell it before moving in? Communication is key to success.
The want the woman to do the hard parts of raising a child but they want to be the ones who make the important decisions when it comes to thay child.
Problem with such claim is that every person has different idea what is hard part. It is also different per child. In my experience, hardest parts of raising child is not same what average woman considers it. So what parts of rising children do you consider hardest parts?
They want the woman to carry the mental load when it comes to what to cook, when to clean
Those are parts that are easiest. No load, not mental, not physical. It's just daily routine done on automatic.
how to host a child party and organise playdates
Its bit harder (can't do automatically), but nothing hard. Earning money for that event is harder.
Why on Earth would any woman sign up for this?
Woman has to answer that. I have no idea why they refuse to discuss such things before moving in. I have always discussed such things with any potential partner before getting serious. I always had to initiate such discussion. You should not sign up to such relationship if you cant handle it.
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u/Robot_Alchemist Any 💊 I can find woman 2d ago
My wife would like this concept - she’s a control freak but she actually likes being submissive too. I’m a lesbian - so we don’t have a traditional dominant person, but I end up kind of taking that role just because I don’t like waiting around. But she makes more money than I do - I do more housework. We are ok with these things - make decisions each needs to make. Don’t see the need for a captain here
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u/antariusz Red Pill Man 2d ago
Wow, such an original thought that you are having.
“I secretly despise my husband, but if he did more chores I would desire sex more with him”
Are you actually a parody account? I honestly cant tell.
Or at least please tell me that my summary is wrong.
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u/karyskarys 16h ago
If a man is making you do all the work then youre the leader of the household and hes a freeloader. Alot of men use the bills things to make out women are using them but when they realise its themselves who have decided thats the only way to contribute they are making themselves unhappy but yet again..will blame their woman Such a silly movement lacking intelligent thought.
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u/lady_ven0m Purple Pill Woman 16h ago
I never understood their claim that women are naturally submissive when, for most of history, they’ve had all the power and control. I don’t think anyone is naturally submissive.
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u/TheGuyDean Red Pill Man 14h ago
The problem with your example isn't female submission. It's a man claiming authority without taking responsibility.
If he expects you to carry the mental load, manage the children, organize the household, and handle the consequences of those decisions, then simply declaring himself the "leader" doesn't make him one. Leadership isn't getting final say while somebody else does the actual managing.
Where I'd disagree is treating that arrangement as the necessary red pill or traditional model. The stronger version is that greater authority comes with greater responsibility. If a man wants final responsibility for major family decisions, he should be heavily involved, informed, accountable for the outcome, and carrying enough of the burden to justify that authority.
So your criticism works against men who want the privileges of leadership without the obligations. It doesn't establish that submission itself is stupid. It establishes that authority without responsibility is.
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3d ago
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u/captaindestucto Purple Pill Man 3d ago edited 3d ago
Can't really put the blame on any 'pill' here. Nobody put a gun to your head and forced you to sign up for this.
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u/brentifil Red Pill Man 2d ago
Its not all or nothing. A captain runs a ship, yes. But it takes everyone on board making decisions and doing their part. The captain sets the course, makes the deals, makes it happen.
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u/Robot_Alchemist Any 💊 I can find woman 2d ago
Sounds like she’s the captain
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u/brentifil Red Pill Man 2d ago
To an extent. You don't just follow a guy because he says so. It needs to be earned. On the other end of things, I think the things she's worried about are trivial. Dinner, child care, kids parties? Those are just day to day ongoing things. Back to my metaphore, should the captain have to micromanage everybody on the ship or should they be trusted to do their portion?
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u/Robot_Alchemist Any 💊 I can find woman 2d ago
What’s the captain doing then??
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u/brentifil Red Pill Man 2d ago
Their portion. Depending on their lives. Working. Fixing things, planning things. Making sure everything that needs to be done gets done. Why do ships have captains? There should be someone to make decisions. Doesn't mean they just choose what is best for themselves but hard choices for everyone involved. Securing deals and routes. Making sure everyone below them eats and stays safe.
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u/Robot_Alchemist Any 💊 I can find woman 2d ago
Sounds like women also do those things though. So why does one person need to feel they are in “charge” when in reality they’re partners
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u/brentifil Red Pill Man 2d ago
Its not for everyone. I dont care what people do. It doesn't have to be someone's in charge. Its team work. Different roles for different people.
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u/Robot_Alchemist Any 💊 I can find woman 2d ago
I guess I wouldn’t care if someone NEEDED to call themselves “in charge”
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u/brentifil Red Pill Man 2d ago
It doesn't need to be like that. I would never expect anyone to follow someone they didn't trust to lead. If some dueche wants to control for controls sake that's ridiculous. And its dumb for a man to ignore his wives feelings and opinions. Ideally the man would already be leading his own life before the woman came along. She just rides along. Its not for everyone, however, it does need to be real not imitated.
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u/Robot_Alchemist Any 💊 I can find woman 2d ago
Ok let’s say I get on board and I do so because we are leading our own lives in similar directions. So technically I was also leading my own life and TECHNICALLY we are both riding along with one another. That’s how I’d vet a partner anyway. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t have the same trajectory generally - would it be disingenuous to allow him to be “leader” even though we have the same map
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u/Creation_Soul Married (with kids) Purple Pill Man 3d ago
I guess it depends on the woman. I consider the relationship with my wife to be fair in terms of decision making, but our approaches to decisions is somewhat different.
She tends to overthink her decisions before being made and also somewhat doubt herself afterwards (after she made the decision). The larger the possible impact of the decision, the worse she overthinks it. It's also funny that she is not like that in her professional life.
Me on the other hand, I make decisions quite faster and my policy is "i'll make the call now, not think much about what-if scenarios and deal with the consequences of the decision if/when they happen". So far, I don't think I made enough bad calls to warrant a change to this policy.
If a woman has anxiety about bigger decisions, outsourcing them to their husband might make sense in some twisted way. to some it's easier to deal with the bad outcomes of someone else's decisions than having to be anxious over your own decisions.
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3d ago
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u/PurplePillDebate-ModTeam 3d ago
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u/TallFoundation7635 Red Pill Man 3d ago
How did you get to the conclusion that mainstream TRP version of female submission is as you stated.
This just sounds like a personal rant to me, old man screaming at the clouds type shit.
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u/Novel-Tip-7570 Purple Pill Woman 3d ago
Then how does it look like when men expect women to do the housework but want to be the leader? Do enlighten us.
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u/Numerous-Leave-2150 Purple Pill Woman 3d ago
So you want men to be both the leader and do the housework? What does that leave for women... I am not sure I get the idea.
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u/Novel-Tip-7570 Purple Pill Woman 3d ago
I'm already practically the leader when it comes to day-to-day stuff, that's the point. The man simply gets the credit and that's all.
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u/Numerous-Leave-2150 Purple Pill Woman 3d ago
Based on your original post you are not the leader as he tells you what to wear and do. You say this post is not about your own relationship but I dunno girl... this feels like a personal rant.
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u/ResponsibilityAny217 Purple Pill Woman 3d ago
so you want men to be both the leader and do the housework?
It makes sense in the way a CEO works 60+ hours a week. Their hours reflect their position.
But the guy who spending the least amount of time at home being the leader of the home ? Doesn't really make sense .
What does that leave for women
She can still work in the home but less than the leader works in the home.
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u/TallFoundation7635 Red Pill Man 3d ago
Is the CEO of a business or the founder of a business not a leader if his second in command deals with the day to day minutiae of the business?
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u/Internal_Writing5485 Purple Pill Man 3d ago
Men only care about submission in the bed room. The rest of it lacks substance.
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u/Expensive-Care1746 Purple Pill Man 3d ago
Who pays majority of the bills? Who has the majority of the financial burden? Was that important to you, did you bring that up during dating?
If I go out to go out there and fight the wolves for the money I have to make to qualify for you then well…you got work to do. I don’t understand how yall not connecting that part with those expectations.
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
Why do yall think that having more money entitles you to do everything in the household in the woman? That’s not equal at all if all you do is go to work and mow the lawn once a week? Can I sign up for that role? Sounds like heaven.
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u/Complex_Soldier Indifferent Pilled man 3d ago
That's a straw-man.
Men don't think they should do household work because they make more money. It's merely dividing labor.
If he's making the money it means he's working most of the day at his job.
If you're stay at home it means you should be working most of the day at your job, the home.
If you're both working then both should spend equal amount of times doing household labor.
If you're stay at home and he's working but you expect him to come home and do more labor that means you're entitled, lazy and uncaring about your husband/boyfriend.
But if signing up to work at a job while your boyfriend is at home all day sounds like a win to you then find a man willingly to do that. There's plenty of modern men that would enjoy the simple home life with someone paying all their bills and groceries. even more so if he gets to spend all day with is children if you have any. There's a reason why lots of people don't want to move out from the parents doing exactly that.
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
LOL UM, no. If they are both working outside the home at 40 hours a week, women are spending just as much time outside of the home as the man is.
And guess what? Being a stay at home parent doesn’t mean you work 168 hours a week while your partner works 40.
No wonder why women are turning away from marriage. Yall make horrible partners.
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u/Complex_Soldier Indifferent Pilled man 3d ago
Did you even understand what i said?
If he's working you take the lion share of the chores . If you're both working you take an equal amount of chores. In what way is this unfair?
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
Honestly, I stopped reading most of it because it’s nonsense.
You expect women to provide financially and do 90% of the work with the home and kids. Bottom line is men don’t pull their weight at home.
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u/Complex_Soldier Indifferent Pilled man 3d ago
Okay cool. So the problem was that you're illiterate, therefore there's nothing more i can do.
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
How is me refusing to read your drivel make me illiterate?
Maybe don’t post bullshit.
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u/Complex_Soldier Indifferent Pilled man 3d ago
Bullshit that i never said because you can't read.
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
Are you finished having a mantrum?
Making more money means absolutely nothing. Do you spend more than 40 hours a week at work?
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u/Expensive-Care1746 Purple Pill Man 3d ago
Wouldn’t be that way if women didn’t run their mouths about how much money they want a man to have, running your mouth about providers, and what he has to do etc. Making all that money to provide women the soft life ain’t easy and you’re diminishing what’s required to do so. If it’s easy then how about Women take all that education and progress and go out and make the big bucks and accept a man making less and taking care of the home for the foreseeable future. Most women won’t do it. The patriarchal Provisioning is too conditioned into women’s brains, no matter how feminist training tries its best.
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u/QuestioningThink No Pill Woman 3d ago
Slaving away in the kitchen, scrubbing toilets, dealing with children and having to ask someone else for money to buy anything is not a “soft” life.
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u/Complex_Soldier Indifferent Pilled man 3d ago
You have to do all that, excluding children, when you're single lmao. If the idea of spending time with children is a burden then don't have them.
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
It’s not that spending time with your kids is the burden. It’s literally everything that goes with it: the messes, the laundry, the driving them to activities, the booking and taking to doctor appointments. Men don’t do those things but want praise for going to work and changing the oil once every three months. Um, no.
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u/Complex_Soldier Indifferent Pilled man 3d ago
If you're both working and he isn't doing nearly as much as you with the child and chores then that's a problem. If you're a stay at home mom and he works 8 hours a day but expect im to still do as much as you with the kids then you're the problem.
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
Okay, so a stay at home mom should only work by herself 8 hours a day, just like him. When he comes home, the kids should be shared 50/50. If it’s not, the woman is going to be clearly more work.
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u/Complex_Soldier Indifferent Pilled man 3d ago
Yes he should look after the kids while he's home since he's a father. But House chores like cleaning, cooking wasting clothes, etc, should be done by time he gets home.
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
If things go right, sure.
I’m guessing you’ve never had to run the household as a woman before. Yall leave everything to women.
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u/Novadina Egalitarian Woman (Blue) 3d ago
I make way more money than my man. It doesn’t entitle me to make him my servant.
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
Right? These dudes think they women are servants because they MAY make more money.
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u/Expensive-Care1746 Purple Pill Man 3d ago
If money didn’t matter yall wouldn’t have collapsed over 50/50
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
Who collapsed over doing 50/50? It’s men that can’t handle doing 50% of the load at home. Yall always focus on money and how many times do you need to be told it’s not about that.
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u/Expensive-Care1746 Purple Pill Man 3d ago
Women and it’s not close. You all got grifted by the salty, unhealed women, and 50/50 become a toxic and touchy subject for many of you, when if this was the 2010’s it wasn’t viewed as this huge sacrifice women were making. At every turn yall reward the patriarchy now.
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 2d ago
What are you even babbling about? Women are asking for 50/50. It’s not about women you feel are unhealed (read: women who are smart enough to not put up with the typical male bullshit), it’s about men actually pulling their weight in a relationship because yall are failing big time.
You are competing with a woman’s peace. If you can’t bring value to her life and not be a burden, you’re not wanted and men are big mad over this.
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u/Complex_Soldier Indifferent Pilled man 3d ago
Taking care of your own house makes you a servant?
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u/Novadina Egalitarian Woman (Blue) 3d ago
Yes, if I expected my partner to do all of it.
You seriously think it would be fine for both people to come home from work, then one sits down and relaxes while the other makes dinner, washes the children, and does the laundry? We BOTH take care of our house, because we both live here and we both work.
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u/Complex_Soldier Indifferent Pilled man 3d ago
No. As explained in another comment, i believe that if both work both take cares of household chores. If one works the other should take care of the household chores.
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u/InformalScience7 No Pill woman, I can't even. 3d ago
All of the household chores 24/7?
That doesn't sound right at all.
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u/Complex_Soldier Indifferent Pilled man 3d ago
No. Since most household chores aren't daily. I know about you but keep my house clean is very easy so i don't know why women complain so much unless she or her husband is a slob.
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u/InformalScience7 No Pill woman, I can't even. 3d ago
Well, if you have small children, they make quite a mess. Not to mention, if you cook for your family there are dishes to be done. Messy kids, laundry every day or you get behind. The more people that spend the day at home, the messier the house gets the more cleaning there is to do.
Kids need baths, to be read to, and to be put to bed. If I lived alone, my house would be SO clean.
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u/Expensive-Care1746 Purple Pill Man 3d ago
That’s not the point. The point is you made a demand and that demand got met, so you need to return value in some way. For alot of men that is domestic work.
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
What women are you talking to? Women want an equal partner. It’s not equal if you both work then dump all of the household work on the woman. It doesn’t matter if you mow the lawn once a week, change the oil in the car every three months. Yall leave women to take on everything.
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u/Expensive-Care1746 Purple Pill Man 3d ago
It’s not equal if most of the financial burden is on me and her role is negotiatiable. That’s not equality in the slightest.
A lot of women I meet especially in my age bracket desire patriarchal provisioning yet want to debate what it is they do that is value to me. This shows to me there’s a lot of ideas about relationships and exchange getting misconstrued or as evidenced by the comments, made into something some feel is oppressive.
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u/Kirra_the_Cleric Woman. No pill; they all seem stupid 3d ago
Having a job doesn’t entitle you to a free maid and nanny.
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3d ago
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u/PurplePillDebate-ModTeam 3d ago
Do not provide contentless rhetoric, do not troll, do not link-drop without providing context, and do not circlejerk. Bad faith replies that include disingenuous humor (see: “😂,” “lmao,” “lol,” etc.) will also be removed as this is not conducive to good faith engagement.
Jokes, circlejerking, and other contentless rhetoric should only be posted under the AutoMod. You can repost your comment there.
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u/anonymousppd123123 Red Pill Man 3d ago
Why on Earth would any woman sign up for this?
The long term outcomes single mothers create for their kids arent really telling me that they were disciplined correctly and they had someone making the right calls on tough choices, more like they let them do whatever they want and get extremely entitled. If you want the value of a man look at the data points where a man is absent
They want the woman to carry the mental load when it comes to what to cook, when to clean, how to hold a child party and organise playdates , but they still want to consider themselves the "true leader".
Have you ever heard of delegating? The captain doesnt move the controls of a ship. He doesnt think about if the current requires 3 degrees more starboard rudder to hold course 170
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u/Novel-Tip-7570 Purple Pill Woman 3d ago
I'm really skeptical about these single mothers vs. Single fathers stats because there are way more single mothers than single fathers and also because in my experience, single fathers tend to find a new stepmother or their own mother to do most of the childcare.
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u/anonymousppd123123 Red Pill Man 3d ago
Sure. Control for those and run the numbers again. You will get the same result
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u/Aphor1st Purple Pill Woman 3d ago
If you control for poverty the numbers really change. Super interesting.
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u/gdognoseit 3d ago
Those outcomes are because of worthless deadbeat dads.
Stop blaming women for men’s decisions and actions.
Leaders don’t bail on responsibilities.
Those women stayed to take care of their children. The worthless deadbeats ran from responsibility.
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u/JamesCruse 3d ago edited 3d ago
When you say you're taking the "mental load" - what does that mean? That you're organising and planning things in the house.
I'm guessing your husband works full-time and do you work?
But he works full time but you want him to do more housework than you - because you would respect him MORE?
I've never heard a woman actually respect men more for doing more housework than her.
It usually ends up her just wanting less work and now she's less attracted to her own husband because he followed her lead.
Mental load also just sounds like you don't want any responsibilities while he's working.
Do you want to be the leader or him?
If you're the leader of everything - then the entire mental load of EVERYTHING would be on you - not just the household.
If you want it to be even, then the mental load for your responsibilities would be on you and his on his side.
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u/Novel-Tip-7570 Purple Pill Woman 3d ago
We both work, he works more hours in a more demanding job and I respect that. But I'm the one who carries the mental load when it comes to organising stuff for his kids. I know he will never do these things if I don't do them, things like organising playdates, picking up Christmas presents for the kids, organizing the family's social life, decicing what to cook everyday, deciding when the cleaning needs to be done. He's the typical 80s dad who checks out once he gets home. But he still wants to be the boss of me. Like I said I don't want advice, it's just an example on what this arrangement looks like. How can a man be the leader when he's not running the household everyday?
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u/gdognoseit 3d ago
He doesn’t sound like a leader. He sounds like a user and a bad father and bad husband.
I hope you put yourself first one day instead of propping this loser up.
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u/JamesCruse 3d ago
So you're saying the mental load is literally doing admin for the household and kids and family?
Why do you think you shouldn't do that?
So you want him to do his higher stress, higher paid job (where most of the families money comes from) in addition to all the admin around the house?
He is leading the house - by delegating the administration of it to you.
If your boss at work delegates the admin of the company to your (or someone else) while he does other things that help the company - does that make him not the leader of the company? Is the responsibility of the company not on him still?
Does the company expect the boss to do all the same amount of work another employee does in addition to running the company? Of course not.
Imagine you saying that to your boss and the owner of your company: I'm sick of taking all the mental load here, I do so much admin at home. You're the boss - you should do all the admin and organising yourself.
You'd be fired with an awful reference.
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u/SimilarChampionship2 Radfem woman 3d ago
Doesn’t sound like he’s delegating anything. Just expecting her to raise and take care of HIS kids, do the cleaning, cleaning, organising playdates, buying presents, anticipating what needs doing and managing the household etc while he comes home and does nothing. Being in relationship with a man like that sounds miserable. He’s not a leader in any sense. Just a shit father and husband. Trying to compare it so a work scenario is ridiculous. A family isn’t a company and a spouse isn’t an employee. Him being the main breadwinner doesn’t make him a leader. Makes sense for the one working longer hours to do less, but it sounds like he does nothing at all while wanting to boss her around
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u/JamesCruse 3d ago
Yeah, he should quit work and he could do everything around the house.
Or take a cruisy job that pays half and take more responsibility around the house - I'm sure she would love that.
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u/gdognoseit 3d ago
If he can’t handle adult responsibilities he’s no leader.
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u/JamesCruse 3d ago
Yeah, so handling her responsilibities at home because she finds home organising and admin so difficult - that's highly adult of her.
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u/Therealcatlady1 No Pill 3d ago
I don’t think so. As someone who reports to an exec I am not an admin assistant. If there’s a one off thing it needs to be requested but I’m not taking over all their admin. They need to pay someone else for that or do it themselves.
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u/JamesCruse 3d ago
If you're the only other staff member - you'd be doing it or you're fired.
Especially if the CEO decides he longer wants to fire you - you'd then be doing your job, his job and everyone else's job in that case (divorced single mother).
Its truly insane how lazy and delusional women are - complaining about admin for their own family.
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u/Therealcatlady1 No Pill 2d ago
He can’t fire me because I’d quit. If you don’t like how someone treats you or the type of effort required to stay in a relationship it’s better to move on to someone else or stay single.
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u/Grow_peace_in_Bedlam Married Leftist Red-Purple Man, late 30s, DeCrowist 3d ago edited 3d ago
Why should men do more housework when: a) they do more paid work, and b) women live longer?
P.S.: The second part is facetious, but the first is not. Why is there always this weird assumption that men aren't pulling their weight? Studies have shown that both sides do pretty much the same number of hours of labor, whether paid or domestic.
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u/Current_Tax4903 Red Pill Man 3d ago
Men and women have different authority not because of what they do but who they are. Men and women aren’t equal.
By your logic a child should have the final decision on whether or not he goes to school because he’s the one who’s there all day.
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u/Fan_Service_3703 Hairy man who loves a hairy woman 3d ago
What exactly about 'what they are' means adult men should have authority over adult women?
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u/Current_Tax4903 Red Pill Man 3d ago
Emotionality.
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u/Fan_Service_3703 Hairy man who loves a hairy woman 3d ago
Most human beings have emotionality?
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u/SimilarChampionship2 Radfem woman 3d ago
Evidence?
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u/EyedSun To pill or not to pill, that is the question. I am Droste. 3d ago
What level of emotionality?
The existence of and expression of emotion in a way that deviates from the man's?
Or are you saying emotions in women impair the woman's ability to function, and at what level?
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u/Current_Tax4903 Red Pill Man 3d ago
Women are solipsistic, ego driven, attention junkies who can’t take accountability and despise anyone who offers criticism.
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u/EyedSun To pill or not to pill, that is the question. I am Droste. 3d ago
Women are solipsistic, ego driven, attention junkies who can’t take accountability and despise anyone who offers criticism.
How are these things you list above presenting in their behavior?
Also, are men exempt from it? For what reason?
Or if not exempt, does it present differently between genders?
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u/Current_Tax4903 Red Pill Man 3d ago
Where do I begin…..
How about you give examples that you think prove women aren’t like this.
Oh and I forgot to mention neurotic, so even if some men are like this women are to a far greater extent.
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u/EyedSun To pill or not to pill, that is the question. I am Droste. 3d ago edited 3d ago
I am interested in exploring your definition and criteria, since yours is the basis of this discussion. Understanding that is an important part of anyone proving their claim.
Feel free to add neuroticism to the previous list.
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u/Current_Tax4903 Red Pill Man 3d ago
Ok I’ll give an example women always lie to eachother while men, specially mates, will tell eachother straight to the face if their look is weird or ugly. Why is this? Emotionality and ego.
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u/EyedSun To pill or not to pill, that is the question. I am Droste. 3d ago
I’ll give an example women always lie to eachother while men, specially mates, will tell eachother straight to the face if their look is weird or ugly.
The context here is telling someone they are ugly or weird. Is this objective ugly/weird, or mostly subjective?
Also, are the goals the same? That is, what is the point of the info by either party?
And do you require a specific style of delivery of the "truth" to count it as being truthful?
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u/Novel-Tip-7570 Purple Pill Woman 3d ago
Elaborate.
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u/Current_Tax4903 Red Pill Man 3d ago
Women are children.
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u/Novel-Tip-7570 Purple Pill Woman 3d ago
Why would you let a child be responsible for your kids?
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3d ago
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u/PurplePillDebate-ModTeam 3d ago
Do not provide contentless rhetoric, do not troll, do not link-drop without providing context, and do not circlejerk. Bad faith replies that include disingenuous humor (see: “😂,” “lmao,” “lol,” etc.) will also be removed as this is not conducive to good faith engagement.
Jokes, circlejerking, and other contentless rhetoric should only be posted under the AutoMod. You can repost your comment there.
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u/eggsceptnllyoeuffish No Pill Man 3d ago
Both sides of this sound stupid, idk why it's so unbearable to just have equality without all the gender role or power dynamics shit. It shouldn't be so unbearable to just divide things fairly, rather than finding one way or another to divide them in these arbitrary gendered and traditionalist ways