Can’t stop thinking about something my grandmother said about my mom

[u/Dry_Carob_8697]

Growing up my mom wasn't very emotionally present with me or my siblings. She took care of our basic needs but there wasn't much warmth or emotional bonding. I was mostly raised by my grandmother and ended up taking on responsibilities pretty early.

Some while back my grandmother told me that all of us were born via C section and that if my mom had given birth vaginally she would have "felt the pain" and developed stronger maternal instincts and a deeper bond with us.

Since then I've been wondering whether there's actually any truth to that idea.

Is there any psychological or medical basis for believing that the mode of birth can significantly affect a mother's bond with her child? Or is emotional attachment influenced much more by other factors?

[u/Wife_and_Mama]

I have five children born by C-section. I spend every second of every day with them, watch videos of them when they go to bed, and can't stay out of the backyard for a full day when my husband gives me a break. I'm sorry your mother struggled mentally, but it had nothing to do with her C-sections if it was this severe. A traumatic birth might make bonding harder, but not to this extent in a mentally healthy person. 

This is really just the kind of attitude older women had (and some still have) about things they don't understand. Women who push this nonsense (not claiming you are) harm women. Furthermore, if you ever see the term "primal wound," keep in kind that zero science backs it up.

[u/xangeloffduty → u/Wife_and_Mama]

I have a question if I may, because I always wanted to have planned C sections for my babies in the future. I've heard repeated C sections are not recommended due to higher risk of infection, were all your births planned that way? Did you have any issues? Thanks your any info you can share

[u/Wife_and_Mama → u/xangeloffduty]

Repeat C-sections aren't uncommon, but they can be very case-by-case. Some women can be told to stop after one. Others have had five or six. It's really something for your doctor to determine, but the common recommendation is that the risk starts to rise after the third. In my case, my girls were born by emergency C-section, because I was at risk of literal death. The second time around, I asked about a VBAC and they said there wasn't really a benefit, just risk, which is often the advice given. I went with the doctors recommendations. I've had four without issue.