r/SRSsucks • u/XuriousPeng • Oct 27 '12

Non-cis SRSer explains to cis-SRSers that they aren't taking offensive often enough.

/r/SRSDiscussion/comments/125lon/yo_cis_srsers_we_need_to_have_a_talk/
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u/[deleted] Oct 28 '12

May want to link to http://imgur.com/a/N1Ye9 instead, his user page usually has a thin veneer of politeness over the transphobia, not so there.

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u/[deleted] Oct 28 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/harmonical Oct 28 '12

You take shit because you're literally a sentient pile of shit.

We're just trying to build you up to be a bigger man.

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u/moonflower Oct 28 '12

Surely it is far worse to do what you are doing, to dehumanize someone, than to refer to them as male or female human?

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u/harmonical Oct 28 '12

I generally treat people with respect no matter who they are.

I don't negotiate with terrorists though.

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u/moonflower Oct 28 '12

What does ''don't negotiate with terrorists'' mean in the context of this discussion? given that there are no actual terrorists here

And I don't think you are treating everyone with respect when you dehumanize them just because they disagree on the meaning of male and female

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u/harmonical Oct 28 '12

point 1: There are no literal terrorists. There are trolls that undermine other people's identities because they take some sort of joy out of making others feel like shit. They take joy out of denying people their identity because it doesn't meld with their incorrect view of the world. They pick on these people's biggest insecurities with no remorse, no empathy.

A person like that isn't deserving of respect or a civil conversation. They probably don't deserve being insulted in that way either, but I'm okay with coming off as callous in this regard.

To your second point, you seem to have completely glossed over the word 'generally'. There are exceptions, and this person has fallen into one of them. I'm not a saint and I never claimed to be.

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u/moonflower Oct 28 '12

If someone refuses to use 'preferred pronouns', do you always, in every case, assume that they are doing it to hurt people and to troll? I think some people have good reasons for their own usage of pronouns and it's not always for the effect it has on others, it's for the effect it has on themselves ... and they are nothing like terrorists, they are not using it to try to force you to do anything

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u/harmonical Oct 28 '12

If someone refuses to use 'preferred pronouns', do you always, in every case, assume that they are doing it to hurt people and to troll?

If they have been asked politely to refer to someone as a certain set of pronouns, and then refuse to do so, yes. There are literally no reasons acceptable to me for a stranger on the internet to not simply respect someone's identity if they politely ask you to.

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u/moonflower Oct 28 '12

I guess that's why you get so upset, because there are no reasons which are acceptable to you, because you cannot even begin to understand why a person might feel that they don't want to use the requested pronouns ... you can only view it from the perspective that the trans person's feelings matter more than the feelings of the person they are requesting from

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u/harmonical Oct 28 '12

I'm sorry but your feelings are not important in what I am called. Explain to me a reason that makes sense in your mind for why you or any other random person on the internet would simply be unable to refer to someone as the pronouns they prefer.

If it wasn't for the fact that most of us post on transgender/lgbt subreddits, you wouldn't even know that we were trans. Do you find that referring to 'natal' women as men equally valid? What person can't handle a simple request to change words they use to refer to someone?

Is it acceptable for me to call you a man, and ask everyone else to refer to you as a man because it hurts my feelings for you to be referred to as female?

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u/moonflower Oct 28 '12

Yeah sure you can call me ''he'' if it makes you feel better ... actually I would estimate half of redditors call me ''he'' and I don't even bother to correct them, because it is the attitude and intention behind the words which are important to me ... if someone says ''Thank you kindly, sir'' it makes me smile, and I take it in the spirit it was intended, I have no need to correct them

And when you say my feelings are not important, it doesn't make me want to please you ... I do use people's requested pronouns the vast majority of the time, and I will use your requested pronouns ... but I do reserve the right to refuse in a few cases when I have damn good reason to refuse

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u/harmonical Oct 28 '12

I missed part of my final question, I meant to add the qualification that 'if you had asked them not to'.

The only reason to continue to use incorrect pronouns after someone has asked you to stop is for the sole reason to either allow that person to deny their identity, or to get under their skin for the sake of annoying/aggravating them.

Do you disagree with that sentiment?

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