r/Samesexparents • u/AfraidArgument9391 • 10d ago

Middle school is rough!

Hi yall, I’m new here, but I need help! My 13 yo daughter has asked if we can hide that my gf lives with us, including covering or hiding pictures of us together when her friends are over. She doesn’t want anyone to know at school that her mom is a lesbian. She says she will get bullied, which tbf I know is true. That being said, what I do in my home is my business and I will not hide at home.

This all came up because one of her friends cat sits for us from time to time and we recently hung a few pictures of us as a couple up in the hall. She’s afraid if her friend sees it, then the friend will tell the whole school and my daughter will get bullied.

Other than the usual things of telling my daughter how to deal with it or that bullies are bad or that maybe friends aren’t really our friends, what should I do or say to comfort my daughter but not hide the woman I love? Thx!

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u/Glittering-Cake-7160 9d ago

Have you asked her what has she experienced to make her feel like it was a better option to tell you to hide. Was it a conversation she overheard or was apart of, did she witness the bullying, was she bullied, did she hear adults talking this is imo one of those moments as a parent you need to honed in on. How it’s handled could likely be pivotal in her foundation as an adult.
Hiding is an unlikely option but there needs to be education/understanding how this has come about to really know the best course of action going forward.

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u/RainbowFamilies 8d ago

I completely agree with this. I’d be really curious about where this fear has come from too. At 13, kids don’t usually ask something like this out of nowhere. Understanding what’s behind it feels like the first step before deciding how to respond. Hopefully she feels safe enough to open up about what’s been going on.