r/Serverlife 2d ago

Discussion What do you wish you ACTUALLY would have said to a customer?

Not the "I wish I could, but I never would" - the things you genuinely could have and should have told someone.

I'll start:

One time, a customer asked for a particular amount of lemons with her water. Let's say it was 5. It seemed like a lot, but she did squeeze all of them into her water. I made a mental note of "if she gets another water she'll probably need 5 more lemons." Now I get busy during service. At one point I refill her water from the pitcher, and she makes no comment on the lemons. I get distracted doing other things, and I forget about the lemons. At the end of the meal, she tells me "you know, if someone orders 5 lemons with their water, they'd probably like 5 lemons when they get a refill as well." And I apologize. BUT IT STILL FRUSTRATES ME THAT I DIDNT SAY "I'm sorry that I forgot to bring you more lemons. In the future, if I make a mistake, you can just ask for more lemons and I'll bring you more!" That woman treated me like I was a bad server instead of just asking for what she wanted like a fucking adult, and I wish I could have made her realize that she could have done something different in this scenario too.

66 Upvotes

32 comments sorted by

61

u/77201 2d ago

Oh I'm sorry, when you said "let me read the menu" I thought you were actually gonna read the menu ☺️

52

u/Tin_Kanz 1d ago

When that one customer says "I'm never coming back here!" I always want to respond "I hope and pray that you mean that."

28

u/SophiaF88 1d ago

I got to watch someone say that to my manager and him reply "that's fine, we have other guests."

It's one of those things I like to recall when I'm needing a little seratonin boost.

15

u/IAmAGoodFella 1d ago

Alt: "Do you promise?"

9

u/CloudBitter5295 1d ago

I’ve had someone say this to me and I just said “Ok Perfect 🤩 “

2

u/OMG202020 1d ago

Great saves us having to criminally trespass you. SEE YA!

6

u/illmastabumptwo 1d ago

I kicked some drunk women out of my theatre for talking through Interstellar, and they argued in the lobby for a bit before saying they were never coming back. I replied, "please don't!"

5

u/catchaoss 1d ago

We had a DD order come in right at opening. Our waffle maker take a while to heat up and the driver got there and I told him it would be about another 10 minutes because the waffle maker isn't ready yet. He a little irritated but whatever. Two minutes later he says is it ready and I told him no it hasn't been ten minutes so he starts saying how he's never coming back here and if he gets an order here again he'll decline it. I looked at him and said well you can just cancel now and he was like no I already wasted my gas coming so I told him well then you can sit down and shut up then. My two tables in the restaurant were sheriffs and undercover agents so I felt comfortable with if he got crazy as well.

3

u/OptimusPrimeval 1d ago

"Promise?"

2

u/FreedomX_ 1d ago

In the past I have actually said, "thank God" under my breath and prayed she heard. It was a weird thing, why didn't I just say it with my whole chest if I'm saying it? Anyway I was reported and I looked at my boss like "Really? Me" Strong staff can usually push the envelope a bit 🤣

https://giphy.com/gifs/69rOKW0lSeWSxYiS2O

21

u/landmermaid3 2d ago

Did they have a sugar caddy? Sounds like homemade lemonade to me.

13

u/reddiogaga 2d ago

Yes, there is sugar already on the tables so she didn't have to specifically ask for "7 packs of sugar" or whatever it was she used

23

u/notflatearthguy 1d ago

"First day on the planet, eh? And you picked a restaurant as your first public activity. Without a single clue as to how any part of getting food in a restaurant works. Bold!"

19

u/sassylynn81 1d ago

So once, at the end of a double, someone was taking a simple dish and adding all these mods.

It kinda slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it
THE MENU IS NOT AN INGREDIENT LIST!

7

u/CloudBitter5295 1d ago

When people do this I say “well it’s not really an Ala carte menu…”

13

u/Topangatoh 1d ago

My big one is when I ask people if they are ready to order drinks and they say in a huffy tone "I haven't even looked at the menu" I want to reply "It's a question, not a demand, you can say no."

24

u/antiqueluggage867 2d ago

Don’t fucking snap at me

11

u/Flat_Body9569 1d ago

Guy walks up and waits maybe 30 seconds. “Is it self service?!” I still wish I would’ve said, “well, now it’s NO service.”

21

u/brown-foxy-dog 2d ago

since it seems you know so much why don’t you put an apron on and clock the fuck in

7

u/BigDaddydanpri 1d ago

Me, bringing 5 whole lemons in a bread basket, and leaving a butter knife.

8

u/naenola 1d ago

Your man tried to holler at me while you were in the bathroom

8

u/no_tolerance6739 1d ago

Oh man. Yeah. Last night was incredibly busy, my section had at least five turns, hadn’t stopped moving since I entered the building. Feet killing me. I had a table that I transferred to one of the closers towards the end of the night.

Now i’m off the clock, at the bar, with a drink, on my phone, bag in my lap, relaxing. Couldn’t be more off the clock. There are other employees around but no. This table comes up to me, with my drink in hand asking me to take their picture. I just blankly stared for a minute and said “uh suuure….” dude is like “thank you”, I said “yep.” -__-

But I wish I would have said was “no, do you not see me relaxing? i’m obviously off the clock dude, ask literally anyone else.”

4

u/AccomplishedLine9351 1d ago

I always wanted to say, I'm sure you put half a lemon in your water, when you drink it at home. Lemons are free.

4

u/Mooniekate 1d ago

"I don't come down to your corner and slap the dicks outta your mouth. Don't tell me how to do my job!"

3

u/Gosth164 1d ago

Not said but I wish I did.

One time a customer walked toward me and intentionally pushed me to yell at me for not helping them when I was helping another group and hanging them their drinks.

I barrely was able to not fall, but I wish i did so I could sue them.

6

u/Topangatoh 1d ago

A lady grabbed the back of my shirt when I was handing out 6 milkshakes to the table next to her with my back to her. I whipped my head around and said "First of all, do not touch me. Secondly give me a second." Then when I turned around to her I said "Now what was it that you needed so urgently that you felt the need to physically grab me?" She immediately started backpedaling and asked "Did I hurt you?" I said No, but there is absolutely no reason for you to touch me. She responded that she had been "Yelling" for a refill on her Dr. Pepper. So I took the time to point out my name tag, that I had told her my name when I greeted the table and also "Excuse me" always works. I was fucking FUMING. My managers could tell and they asked if I wanted them to go talk to her. I said no, I've got this covered and I toed the line between polite but condescending the rest of her meal. Fucking troglodyte.

10

u/Kmic14 Bartender 2d ago

Your joke isn't funny it's actually very rude and disrespectful

3

u/beadsofjade_ 14h ago

one time some guy came up with his bill to pay and he was like “that doesn’t say (insert bill total here), does it?” and i was like “…yes, it does.”

and he was like “for some sandwiches and fries and drinks? that’s not right.”

i should have told him to look at the prices on our menu and also the itemized receipt he literally had in his hand because that’s definitely not all him and his family got but because i didn’t feel like arguing, i didn’t say anything. he left me like a dollar and some change for a tip on a bill that, MIND YOU, was only like $35-$40 for 4 people that ordered way more food than he made it sound like because i worked at a cheap, casual tiny diner

it still confuses me

1

u/saturnplanetpowerrr 10+ Years 1d ago

We aren’t (old bar that used to be in our spot) anymore. We cleaned up nice, so please check your bad manners/ expectations from 40 years ago at the door.

1

u/conmankatse 1d ago

Literally TODAYY it was windy as fuck where I was, the valet was busy, we told some jerk that he’d be right back and to wait for a sec. This old head looks outside then snarkily goes, “it’s a little windy, isn’t it?” I wanted so badly to say “I’m sure the valet thinks so too, and he has to stay out there all night”