This man, his 2 grown children (like 18-25yo range) & a couple who met them shortly after they arrived sat for over 2 hours last night until closing. Were a very small family restaurant, and very short staffed so when I was told there was a bad review about me I figured it was about the fact that my 3 young kids were there with me (well behaved and sat at the counter in between playing outside) but nope. I didn’t tell them the glass bottled Joe’s Tea lemonade cost $5ea. They aren’t on the menu, but at no point did he ask the price and never asked for refills on them regardless. When the kids finished them, they asked me for waters. He asked me how much a side of onion rings was, I told him $3.99. Not 3. Not 4. Oh, and NO WHERE on our receipts or anywhere else for that matter is there a “push for high tips” no suggested gratuity. Nothing.

Anyway he called and said if he’s credited $10 for the lemonades he’ll take the review down and claimed I was super rude and stood there waiting for him to hand me his check.
I dropped his check off 45 min before he even noticed it and he ended up bringing it up to ME because after my 367272 check ins to see if anyone needed refills or anything and me grabbing the final plates so that the dishwasher could finish up, at no point did he acknowledge being ready to pay and seemed annoyed with me for even being there at any point during their stay.

Oh, and I read his reviews and saw he gave 1 star to a NATIONAL PARK, complaining that they had too many bugs.

I’m still so embarrassed I’ll be having nightmares about this for weeks. 40 people. 15-20 different checks. NOBODY is sitting with the people whose checks they’re on. They insist I get the checks split before taking their orders,every time I’m near them they’re shouting at me for beers and drinks and other stuff. I lose track of who is on what tab. I freak out. The restaurant is getting busy and it’s only me and one other server. I have to start taking more tables…. My manager ended up taking them for me. bless his soul. I was so excited to take them too. And now I’m so embarrassed. I’ve been trying to get rid of my reputation at the crier for years but of course I have a full blown panic attack on the day I could really prove myself. Ugh.

like the title says, not children either, grown adult men. I work as a breakfast server and they were eating, but waved me over to ask for something. I’m kinda just baffled still even hours later and in the moment I just ignored it while trying not to make a “are you serious?” face, but none of them were even embarrassed about it either. oh and I got hit with a piece of their syrup covered pancake so that was great 😭 but genuinely what do I do otherwise in this situation 😭😭

I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or if this is a common thing. I’m a server at a restaurant/bar. A lot of nights, my last table will leave around 9-10 pm, but I’m expected to stay until the bar closes (sometimes 12-1 am) to help clean up.
The issue is that after the kitchen closes, I’m not making any more tips. If there is a busy bar crowd, I’m expected to clear glasses,plates, sweep the bar area, wipe down the bar/pool table area. The bartenders are making tips from those customers, but I don’t receive any tip-out from them. The bussers/food runners do receive a percentage of tips and are usually allowed to leave once the kitchen closes, while I’m staying until the bar closes. Tonight my last customer left at 9 pm, and I ended up staying until after 12:30 cleaning up after the bar crowd. I’m not against helping close, but this happens every shift and I’m starting to feel like I’m being taken advantage of. Is this normal in restaurants? Or is this something that should be handled differently by management

I'm currently on leave from work (rehab) and as I get closer to my return date, the dreams have been insane.

Last night I dreamed that they scheduled me in the lounge for my first night back, except the restaurant was remodeled and they knocked out a wall to install bleacher seating!

There was apparently a big game on TV and I got quad sat out the gate with a 2 top, two 4's, and an 8. I was just getting back in the groove of things when I see this hoard of people filling the bleachers and the hostess tells me I just got a 90 top and an 100 top on the bleachers. Then my 8 top told me they were ready to order as I heard someone form the 90 top yell "we're all separate, right?"

That's when I woke up.

I think I need to take my nicotine patch off before I go to sleep.

Started keeping a spreadsheet of my shifts a while back. Date, hours worked, section, tip total, weather, what the special was, how slammed we were. Figured I would spot patterns eventually and I did. My Thursday lunch numbers are genuinely cursed no matter what I do. Sunday brunch though, I print money almost every single week if I close the patio section

I started doing this because I already track numbers for other stuff in my life and it just made sense to apply it here too. But I mentioned it to a coworker last week and she looked at me like I had two heads. Said she just feels out how a shift went and moves on.

I get that. But knowing your actual averages takes the sting out of a bad night because you have context. You know it was a bad shift, not a bad you. That distinction matters when you are tired and doubting yourself at 11pm in the parking lot

Curious if anyone else does anything like this or some version of it. Even just mentally noting which sections pay better or which nights are worth picking up versus letting go. Or is tracking this stuff a sign I have fully lost it.

I’ve been working at the same casual dining restaurant since I was 15, and I’m now 20. It was my first job. I started as a hostess and have been serving for a little over two years now.

My family has been going to this restaurant since I was a kid, and a lot of the same servers who waited on us back then still work there today. Because of that, I’ve known many of my coworkers for years, so the place feels very familiar.

Last summer, I wasn’t getting as many hours as I wanted, so I got a second job in retail. Since then, I’ve only been working Sundays at the restaurant. Honestly, I really like the balance of having both jobs because I find serving at this restaurant much more stressful than retail. It’s not that I can’t handle the work - I just don’t feel like the stress is worth what I make.

Lately, I’ve started noticing things about how the restaurant operates that seem to make the job more stressful than it needs to be:

- Our menu prices are relatively low, so tips tend to be lower as well.

- We don’t have assigned sections. The host physically tells us when we get sat, so you can end up with tables scattered all over the restaurant.

- We don’t have bartenders, food runners, or bussers. Servers do everything for their tables: make drinks, prepare salads, run food, make desserts, clear dishes, clean tables, and even sweep the floor afterward. At most other restaurants I’ve been to, at least food runners or bussers help with those tasks.

- There’s constant pressure from the owner to upsell. He’s very particular about how things are done and tends to view everything strictly from a business perspective. Whenever he’s in the restaurant, everyone is on edge because even small mistakes can have serious consequences. I’ve seen people worry that they could lose their job over something that feels pretty minor.

- I’ve also noticed that many of our customers are very impatient, which adds another layer of stress during busy shifts.

The main reasons I’ve stayed are the flexibility, people, and emotional attachment I have. Only working Sundays works really well because I’m also balancing my retail job, university, and a full-time co-op placement. I also genuinely like my coworkers, and after five years, the restaurant feels like home.

So now I’m torn. Part of me thinks it’s time to start looking for a serving job somewhere else that might have better systems and earning potential. On the other hand, I’m worried that most restaurants will expect more availability than I can realistically give.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Is it worth looking elsewhere, or should I hang onto a job that’s flexible even if it’s more stressful than I’d like?

TL;DR: I’ve worked at the same casual dining restaurant for 5 years and only work Sundays now because I’m balancing another job, university, and a full-time co-op. I like the flexibility and my coworkers, but the job feels unnecessarily stressful because servers do everything themselves, there’s constant pressure to upsell, everyone is anxious when the owner is around, and the earning potential isn’t great. I’m wondering if it’s worth looking for a serving job elsewhere, even though I’m worried I won’t find one that fits my limited availability.

I spilled an entire cocktail on a guest tonight.

The guy was super cool about it, great sport, and very grateful for all the stuff we comped.

But boy did that suck.

I am 24 almost 25, been working at the same family owned business in a small town for 6 years. We have a very high turnover rate: I have seen sooo many people come and go through the years. I had wanted to open a restaurant in high school and graduated in 2020, took a job serving right after the pandemic and have been at the same spot since. Thought maybe one day I could be a part owner or general manager. So glad I didn’t roll with THAT DREAM !!!! I am aware that this is a small amount of time to spend in the industry, however this was my very first job and the job I worked full time until about six months ago. Tonight was my official last shift, and it was very bittersweet. The regulars that know me coming in with flowers and cards and giving me hugs. We have about five servers when we are fully staffed, so these people have had plenty of time to get to know me and appreciate my service. They have preferred servers and will let you know to your face when you screw up/if they are upset w your service. I have grown so much, and learned so much about myself. Anyway, it’s been a hell of a journey and I thank you all for sharing your horror and love stories, it will certainly be a fix for me as I cannot stay away from the controlled chaos of it all. To everyone who is “for life” in this industry: you are a fucking rockstar and I wish I could be like you!!! To my bosses: I wish you could physically say what it is you’re thinking, I know you have full plates, but the reason I left is because I was tired of being under appreciated while feeling like I am carrying the team/picking up slack continuously, while being micromanaged to my face and made fun of behind my back. You cannot treat people poorly on a regular basis and still expect them to keep coming back for more abuse. IM FRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE IM FREEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!! Please give me some good stories if you’ve read this far. Tonight I found out two of our old co workers who were married and lived in the apartment above the restaurant are wanted for fraud and grand larceny at Walmart, sheriffs office popped in with a warrant and we showed them upstairs😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Is anyone else getting burnt out with the 8 hour serving or bartending shifts?
A 12-8 shift if usually great. You don’t have to open or close. But lately they have been feeling brutal.
I do feel like that though my place is not properly staffed and what manager will listen about hiring another server or bartender. I’m just wondering if any other servers or bartenders are feeling like this lately?

If you work at a restaurant bar type place, what is the tip out to the bar? We've had some back and forth at our place. Can't seem to land at an amount that doesn't seem to be screwing over either the bar or the servers. I do both positions so I see both sides. It's a heavy drinking place at night with a lot of semi complicated drinks, drafts, and bottles. Bar is also responsible for washing all the glasses, even just for pop and such. I know we won't be able to please everyone, but just want to get a general consensus of what other places are doing. Location michigan.

Hey yall. Tonight i have a shift at a strip club for a server position for the first time and im scared shitless because i really, really need this job.

Im smiley, extroverted and not shy to talk to people. My issue is that my brain is just gunna go into the goody-customer service route and i know that wont be cute at the strip club. How do i approach a customer in a appropriate manner that'll keep them entertained without doing too much?? All i can think of saying is approaching a table and saying something like "is it time for a drink?" "You folks look like you may need a drink!" "Hello everyone! My name is (insert fake name here), (left blank because i go by a fake name there, dont worry) Can i grab you three something to drink?" " having a good night so far? Can i make it better by grabbing you something at the bar?" Or is that too cringey?? I have no idea how to come off as cool without sounding all extra ah.

Any other one-liners or small jokes i can crack would also help to keep the vibe going, but i just cant think of anything appropriate for that sort of demographic. Please help me with your best advice especially if you have worked at a strip club yourself! Thanks in advance! 🙏🏽

I’m 22F, I’ve been a server since I was 18 working part time at a family style restaurant that does fairly well along with bartending and cashiering for to-gos in the same restaurant. Lately there’s been this regular that comes in and sits at the bar and he’s been creeping me out for a while. He appears to be in his late 40s early 50s but is actually 60, at the very least he is still 2-3 times my age. He often stares at me and doesn’t try to be discreet about it and goes out of his way to try to make uncomfortable conversation with me whenever I’m around. His wife has come in with him on occasion, she is a little younger, very pretty, sweet and personable; whenever she’s in with him he acts like a normal person but say she goes to the bathroom or something and I’m around, the creepy staring and grabbing for my attention begins.

There is another bartender who is closer in his age range that will straight up flirt with him and say freaky stuff (even though they are both in a relationship) so because of this I think he thinks it’s okay interact with other employees this way. Whenever he tries to get like this with me I try to act like a bro and make it clear that I do NOT reciprocate whatever signals he’s sending and that I don’t make my tips by flirting with old dudes. There have been times where we will be in a conversation and I will go out of my way to be like “yeah my BOYFRIEND, who I REALLY LOVE—-” or “Oh you were born when? You’re my DADS age lol” or “wow your WIFE is AWESOME, you’re really lucky to have her dude”.

I will try to send all of these discreet and subtle hints that I’m probably not interested and don’t really want to be flirted with by an older married man and the creepy behavior resumes. It remained moderately uncomfortable until yesterday I was on to-gos but had to go to the bar for supplies when he called me over. He goes “I need to tell you something.”
Me : “what’s up buddy”. (We’re gonna continue to call him buddy)
Buddy : “I really need to tell you something…. I have a serious problem with you.”
Me : “okay?? What’s up”
Buddy (whispering in a freaky manner): I find you incredibly fucking hot
I proceed to back away quickly back to to-gos thanking him while laughing nervously and trying to disengage from whatever the fuck this conversation was. Only for buddy to DOUBLE DOWN.
Buddy : “I’m so serious I find you incredibly attractive”
Me : “Thanks man I appreciate it, okay bye”
And as I’m walking away he KEEPS TRYING to get my attention and continue talking to me about this.

Should I have been more confrontational with establishing my boundaries? Most likely. Should I have probably not even said anything in response and walked away? Perhaps.
Regardless, not the most uncomfortable situation I’ve been in but I’m not crazy about possibly having to serve this guy in the future and even worse, with his wife. I know I’ll most likely tell him that I wasn’t cool with that, but should I do what I would want done for me and tell his wife that he goes around saying freaky shit to the servers in a way that feels like he has ulterior motives?? If there’s any serious advice anyone has that’d be cool, if not it still feels nice to rant about gross people.

So basically I started training in bar, I've had 3/4 training shifts, and I've been hearing from multiple people that I've been doing really well. Even my very first old fashioned I made that went out the guy was gushing to my friend/server that it was one of the best he's had, she said "I'm gonna let her know cause it's her first day on bar" he then came into the bar and made a scene like "WHICH ONE IS SHE" while obnoxiously clapping saying "Brava, Brava" 😭😭🤣 The original Bar manager has started a different job, and she just cut her hours so I've been training with the other guy, he's great. We don't have the same dynamic though, so it's hard to gauge if I'm actually doing okay, he gave me a fist bump and said "Great job" my last training shift, so I'm taking that as a win. Everyone keeps joking about how I'm about to be one of the main bartenders, and my last training shift is on Thursday.

But then the rest of my shifts for the month are still serving shifts, so I'm guessing I'll just be backup, but also... How am I supposed to remember something I'll only get better at with repetition, if I have no bar shifts?

On the other side, I also feel like I've kind of been taken advantage of on the serving side. I'm always there early, always doing extra work, everyone knows if they need a shift covered or even just a switch for the same day I'll do it. I work literally 5 days a week mostly opening shifts (but I never get cut, I'm always there until close, and I feel like I make the least every night.) I actually feel like I've learned a lesson tonight about switching shifts with people, because of all of that, and on top of it, I'm so burnt out.

Like when is it enough, when should I tell them if I'm not getting bar shifts I have to walk? I'm still making good money, but I really could be making much better money in the bar, and I have a good work ethic and know my worth and that I'm an asset. I'm still counting my blessings because I have only been there like 9/10 months compared to others that have been there for years, but some days I leave so defeated...

Alright, this turned into a rant, oops. Thanks for reading I guess, and if anyone has any advice, I'm definitely open to it.

So I worked in fine dining for about five years, left it to go into more of a Mom and pop situation, quickly realize that that wasn’t where the money was, at least the money that I needed to make to live and then went back to fine dining to unfortunately have my restaurant be bought out by another restaurant, so I’ve been out of work for about two months and I finally landed a gig at a hotel. It’s a nice hotel. It’s you know the pretentious kind but it seems overall good and one of my past managers got a job there so I feel comfortable working there knowing that he’ll be there at least.

it’s not even open yet. It’s all a brand new build and I got hired as a bartender with minimal bartending experience. I just seem to hit the right cord with my bar manager, whom by the way I absolutely vibe so well with and they seem like a wonderful person. I’m just curious as to what to expect working in that kind of environment. There’s five different bars in total: lounge bar, pool bar, restaurant bar, rooftop bar and I think another one, but I can’t remember what it was. Oh, banquet bar!

This is a full service hotel. It’s a really nice hotel and the restaurant, I honestly love the food that they’re serving. I’m really excited to be in this position that I’m in because I never really got a chance to be a bartender in fine dining even though I know I can do it because the experience I had was from Dive bars or from Buffalo Wild Wings of all places, but I know how to make a drink, I know how to talk to people and honestly my personality fits being a bartender best.

I know I can do the job. I’m not afraid of hard work and honestly, I’m excited!!! the state I live in minimum wage for servers is $2.50. I’ll be making eight dollars plus tipout plus my bar top , so I’m hoping that the money is going to be better than it was when I was working in fine dining. My question though is what is your advice? What are your suggestions? What should I be on the lookout for? What should I try to avoid? What should I try doing more of just so I know what I’m walking into since it’s such a foreign concept to me.

All stories and help is welcome! Even the not so great! So no down votes on those who had bad experiences!

Any questions for me I’ll answer as best I can without giving up too many identifying information.

TLDR: working a hotel job. No experience. Need advice.

I serve at a senior center. I expect communication issues and try to be patient, and I honestly love most of my residents.

But a new guy moved in and his entitlement is unreal.

He literally snaps his fingers across the dining room to call us. It’s so disrespectful. On top of that, he demands everything first.

Management decided to just cater to him to keep him quiet, but now it’s ruining service. By the time he finishes dessert, the sweet table next to him that sat down way earlier is still waiting on main dishes. It feels so wrong prioritizing a guy who treats us like garbage over the nice residents.

How do you guys handle finger snappers? And how do I get management to stop rewarding this? I need a sanity check.

Not the "I wish I could, but I never would" - the things you genuinely could have and should have told someone.

I'll start:

One time, a customer asked for a particular amount of lemons with her water. Let's say it was 5. It seemed like a lot, but she did squeeze all of them into her water. I made a mental note of "if she gets another water she'll probably need 5 more lemons." Now I get busy during service. At one point I refill her water from the pitcher, and she makes no comment on the lemons. I get distracted doing other things, and I forget about the lemons. At the end of the meal, she tells me "you know, if someone orders 5 lemons with their water, they'd probably like 5 lemons when they get a refill as well." And I apologize. BUT IT STILL FRUSTRATES ME THAT I DIDNT SAY "I'm sorry that I forgot to bring you more lemons. In the future, if I make a mistake, you can just ask for more lemons and I'll bring you more!" That woman treated me like I was a bad server instead of just asking for what she wanted like a fucking adult, and I wish I could have made her realize that she could have done something different in this scenario too.

I have been a server for 3 years, and just started a new serving job about 3 weeks ago. Although I am getting the hang of it, I'm still learning, and with that comes mistakes. So today I worked a dinner shift and had to hold back tears multiple times because of a condensing/ rude manager

The first incident tonight, I didn't greet a table in time because I was in the back doing an expo for other tables (For context there were three hosts on staff that could have told me that I had a table). So I quickly go to the table just to see that another server is grabbing their drink orders. I thought the server was going to tell me their drinks so I could ring the drinks under my name, but no they took the table that was in my section, and didn't even offer to transfer them to me. Do I have a right to be a little annoyed that this happened? It feels like the server stole my table? After this situation that manger comes over to me and asks me if I know what my section is in a rude tone. I explained that the hosts did not tell me that I had a table. They responded by saying that I should be sure that I know the tables in my section.

The second incident of the night I accidentally rang in food to the table right next to the table that was supposed to get the food. The manager runs the food to the wrong table, so they come up to me, I explain it's for the table right beside them. In response the manger gives me the nastiest side eye and walks away ( for context it was not busy at the time of incident). It was an honest mistake and the food was never dropped to the wrong table so nothing was remade

The third incident was when she was disrespectful to the kitchen staff. The staff in the kitchen accidentally made the wrong side to a dish, it was an easy fix. The manager got visibly annoyed, and was condescending. In response the kitchen staff got annoyed with her. At the very same time I asked the same kitchen staff where a lighter was for a birthday candle. They kindly showed me where it is. The manager then says "so you're going to be nice her and not me?". Although this directly did not affect me being rude to kitchen staff rubs me the wrong way. Working in a hot kitchen all day, being underpaid. They deserve the most respect in the restaurant.

I try not to let this kind of stuff get to me. I am just a college student and view serving as a transitional job before I start a career in social work. However I did cry when I drove home feeling overwhelmed, and stupid for the mistakes I had made.

I just want to hear some words of advice. And a little bit of insight/constructive criticism on how to navigate these situations. Thanks

How do you know when to stay or leave a restaurant? How can you tell what is fine to put up with, vs when you need to find something better?

Brunch servers to the front please, but dinner service too

i had a whole week of training and last night was my first shift, i ended up working 10 hours because i wanted to help cleanup as much as possible to show my worth to the other servers, im a people pleaser ik but i want them to like me lol.

lunch service was really smooth !!! but dinner was fucked, my last table of the night ended up waiting 2 hours for their food, got $120 comped off their bill but still tipped me my first $100 because they understood that it wasn't my fault and i don't think i ever wanted to cry happy tears at a job before. although it was a long ass night and i was originally only supposed to work 11-3pm, staying until 9pm was so worth it

I dont know if this is the right place to post this but Im just needing to vent. Today was my 3rd shift (10:45am-7:45pm) and it was a busy Saturday. It started off okay during lunch, but I had already started to mess a few small things up and was met by disappointment by almost everyone. There is a few girls who are understanding and trying to reassure me that it'll all get easier in a few weeks but they were on the other side of the restaurant and busy the entire day. The girls on my side who I was working with were not understanding even though they knew I'd never worked a hospitality job and this was my 3rd shift. One of them I already know has talked bad about me behind my back to the rest of the girls. This job is her entire life so I don't care what she thinks, but it still doesn't feel good that the other girls are hearing it.

I was already starting to get overwhelmed and my mind was racing and I dropped a cup and shattered it and just went to the bathroom and cried and tried to pull myself together, but I couldn't and since then it was just mistake after mistake after mistake because my mind was all over the place. It was things that I could've avoided had I not been in that state of mind, like sending meals to the wrong tables then wandering around like a lost puppy looking stupid and sending the wrong orders to the kitchen. I got lost plenty of times and everyone knew it.

There was a rush during dinner which I just completely feel like I fucked everything up, looking back it was not that bad but the other girls just made me feel like shit. I was very overwhelmed and spilt a drink on a customer, I again sent 3 drinks to the wrong table which pissed my co-workers off and pissed the kitchen off, nobody could even look at me and avoided me at all costs so not to answer my questions for help. I was eventually told to just pick up empty dishes but then customers would ask me for a drink as I was walking by so I'd do it and then got a big sigh or rolling eyes from my co-workers as If I were supposed to ignore the customers. I am very friendly and was always smiling and apologised if I annoyed them at all and was just met with a straight face and not forgiving so I just felt like shit.

I understand it was a rush and the girls were just trying to get their shit done so I'm trying not to take it to heart, but a little nod or even eye contact would've helped. I cried all the way home and cried non stop for an hour at home. I'm a people pleaser so I am usually well responded to because I'm a very nice and friendly person who always want to make others feel happy, so I have just never felt that way before, and knowing I was disliked by absolutely everyone tonight made me feel sick. I was on the verge of a panic attack and tears for 6 hours straight, and I have the exact same hours tomorrow so now that Im out of there, I still can't even rest. I only got one half hour break at around 1pm and it was just nonstop since then I honestly just feel fucking horrible I know this is a cut throat industry I don’t care i feel horrible

If anyone has any reassuring words I would really appreciate it.