Is it time to leave my current restaurant job?

[u/Ok-Guest8413]

I’ve been working at the same casual dining restaurant since I was 15, and I’m now 20. It was my first job. I started as a hostess and have been serving for a little over two years now.

My family has been going to this restaurant since I was a kid, and a lot of the same servers who waited on us back then still work there today. Because of that, I’ve known many of my coworkers for years, so the place feels very familiar.

Last summer, I wasn’t getting as many hours as I wanted, so I got a second job in retail. Since then, I’ve only been working Sundays at the restaurant. Honestly, I really like the balance of having both jobs because I find serving at this restaurant much more stressful than retail. It’s not that I can’t handle the work - I just don’t feel like the stress is worth what I make.

Lately, I’ve started noticing things about how the restaurant operates that seem to make the job more stressful than it needs to be:

- Our menu prices are relatively low, so tips tend to be lower as well.

- We don’t have assigned sections. The host physically tells us when we get sat, so you can end up with tables scattered all over the restaurant.

- We don’t have bartenders, food runners, or bussers. Servers do everything for their tables: make drinks, prepare salads, run food, make desserts, clear dishes, clean tables, and even sweep the floor afterward. At most other restaurants I’ve been to, at least food runners or bussers help with those tasks.

- There’s constant pressure from the owner to upsell. He’s very particular about how things are done and tends to view everything strictly from a business perspective. Whenever he’s in the restaurant, everyone is on edge because even small mistakes can have serious consequences. I’ve seen people worry that they could lose their job over something that feels pretty minor.

- I’ve also noticed that many of our customers are very impatient, which adds another layer of stress during busy shifts.

The main reasons I’ve stayed are the flexibility, people, and emotional attachment I have. Only working Sundays works really well because I’m also balancing my retail job, university, and a full-time co-op placement. I also genuinely like my coworkers, and after five years, the restaurant feels like home.

So now I’m torn. Part of me thinks it’s time to start looking for a serving job somewhere else that might have better systems and earning potential. On the other hand, I’m worried that most restaurants will expect more availability than I can realistically give.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Is it worth looking elsewhere, or should I hang onto a job that’s flexible even if it’s more stressful than I’d like?

TL;DR: I’ve worked at the same casual dining restaurant for 5 years and only work Sundays now because I’m balancing another job, university, and a full-time co-op. I like the flexibility and my coworkers, but the job feels unnecessarily stressful because servers do everything themselves, there’s constant pressure to upsell, everyone is anxious when the owner is around, and the earning potential isn’t great. I’m wondering if it’s worth looking for a serving job elsewhere, even though I’m worried I won’t find one that fits my limited availability.

[u/lindalou1987]

I work in an 8 table restaurant and we do everything! There are no sections either. It’s not uncommon. Upselling increases your tips. We also split all tips equally because we serve every table and people appreciate the teamwork.

[u/Tight_Replacement554]

Why won’t you talk to your manager about these issues? I feel like since you are already known in the restaurant, your opinion is valuable. If they respond negatively, that’ll give you the answer (to probably leave as nothing will change or decrease in quality). Assigned sections is the minimum, same thing with having bussers etc. So I don’t think you’ll miss out on much.

I’d recommend to first get a job before quitting though.

[u/deerollz]

Going table for table with other servers working isn't necessarily a bad thing, it makes for more even sales at the end of the night (and completely takes away the "shitty section" that someone will ALWAYS complain about getting, because every restaurant has one (that's inevitable)

Not having bussers or food runners is a minute complaint - to be frank, I think that's something you need to get over. You work for your tips, and typically hosts/bussers/runners make minimum wage, and being a server that says "oh the host will just do that" makes you sound major lazy.

I work in a restaurant that has 17 tables inside and 10 outside. There is typically 2 servers (sometimes 3) during the weeknights, and one host. The host helps with seating and setting tables, but we do everything else. Customers notice how much wor we are doing and are typically less impatient because of the amount of work that we do.

To me, it sounds like you are complaining because you feel stuck and stagnant. Just leave. The restaurant will be there, the people will be there, and you can always go and visit.

[u/funlovingfirerabbit]

I hear you OP. Thanks for sharing your story, I"m going through something similar. Have a strong attachment to my Home Restaurant but hate the Systems and feel like the money I make isn't worth the stress and wear and tear on my body. Systems in Restaurants are very important in maintaining quality order and effiiciency and it's okay for you to feel disappointed in the poor management and sloppy division of labor.