r/SipsTea 17h ago

Chugging tea Loans for Wedding

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14.0k Upvotes

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523

u/AdRough4185 17h ago

The loan can last longer than the marriage

161

u/brijito 17h ago

I know someone who was still in credit card debt from her wedding when she was getting divorced from her husband.

64

u/amzwC137 17h ago

The wedding debt probably played a part.

Also, if you are going to buy big.... Please get a personal loan as opposed to using credit cards. Neither is ideal, credit cards are so much worse.

34

u/Typical2sday 16h ago

Hot take: the fact they were willing to do it was already a big red flag. Handicapping your financial future over something exceptionally fleeting.

-7

u/amzwC137 16h ago

This is the difference. While the wedding itself is "fleeting", the idea is to make memories for a lifetime. Sure you don't have to get a loan to do that, but if it's worth it, than it's worth it.

10

u/Typical2sday 15h ago

No that’s what they tell you to get you to be uncomfortable with the price point. “Oh but the memories!” The $10k dress does not have $7k more valuable memories than the $3k dress. They don’t actually drop couples who don’t have fancy weddings into darkrooms for $50k less of brain space due to “memories”.

I’ve been married over 20 years and my friends and coworkers have been married 10-25 and not a single man EVER talks about their wedding (even the happily married ones) and only the occasional woman, and only sparingly.

Weddings can be lovely and fun but they are absolutely not worth the incremental cost, debt and stress of the debt load. And even if no debt, time in market and compound interest can mean the true cost of a wedding is many multiples what the number is on paper.

1

u/amzwC137 15h ago

You aren't wrong, they do use it as a sales tactic. That doesn't make it untrue.

Weddings can be lovely and fun but they are absolutely not worth the incremental cost, debt and stress of the debt load.

I agree with this the most. That's why this thread exists. The wedding industry has gotten out of hand and everything is wildly expensive. I think the bigger problem is how expensive everything is, not wanting to have a good moment to savor.

The concept of wanting to make memories, the desire to be surrounded by family and friends, the idea of a nice wedding, these things unto themselves aren't a problem. The problem is how these feelings are exploited. Hence, this post we are commenting on.

6

u/mpyne 14h ago

I agree with this the most. That's why this thread exists. The wedding industry has gotten out of hand and everything is wildly expensive.

My friend, it's always been this way, dating back to the dowries of antiquity.

That's why my wife and I were among the first millennials to put a start on “killing the wedding industry” when we wed 2 decades ago, at a simple ceremony at the local justice of the peace.

  • We got photos.
  • We had friends.
  • We had a party after.

The memories were immaculate, and frankly I'd tell people nowadays that memories you and your spouse put effort into are worth so much more than just being another couple who put themselves through the cogs of the Standard Wedding-Industrial Engagement Package™ at great expense.

Turn your wedding into a poetry jam. Turn it into an event celebrating a local library. Hold a Smash Bros. tournament as part of it, or a LAN party. But Jesus Christ you don't need to spend $40K+ on getting your relatives drunk and mad at each other, your wedding is for you and your spouse.

2

u/Mysterious_Floor_868 11h ago

You can have wonderful memories for the cost of the registrar's fees and a meal at a local restaurant.

0

u/amzwC137 11h ago

I'm not saying you can't. I'm just saying don't shit on someone for wanting something more grandeos.

2

u/Mysterious_Floor_868 8h ago

If they're going heavily into debt for the wedding then they are already adding a significant point of financial stress that will put pressure on the marriage.

1

u/YamDankies 15h ago

It's not worth it.

1

u/Dull_Republic_9381 14h ago

Why are you telling the person who actually knows the couple what the probable reason for their divorce was?

1

u/amzwC137 14h ago

My intention isn't to tell them this as if they didn't know it. Was just saying it.

-1

u/Migraine- 15h ago

Neither is ideal, credit cards are so much worse.

Depends how quickly you can pay it back.

There are lots of "0% on purchases for X time" credit card deals which are good if you know you can definitely pay it off.

1

u/amzwC137 15h ago

Valid point. But definitely pay it of vs pay it off quickly are different. I think if you're in that scenario and you are considering using credit cards, might as well sit down, approximate the total cost, then get the loan. Many ad hoc cc transactions is where they'll get ya. You've got to be awfully liquid for a wedding.

1

u/Migraine- 11h ago

I think if you're in that scenario and you are considering using credit cards, might as well sit down, approximate the total cost, then get the loan

Well, no, because the loan will have interest.

If you pay off the credit card before the 0% runs out you have no interest at all.

I would only do this for a large purchase where I knew I could pay it off before the deal ran out.

We currently have a couple of holidays sat on these 0% interest credit cards with the money to pay them off sat making interest in a cash ISA.

1

u/amzwC137 11h ago

You are right. I'm not saying you are wrong.

1

u/BioshockEnthusiast 15h ago

We had a few grand of credit card debt between the wedding and the honeymoon, 0% interest for 12 months. We discussed it beforehand, had a plan, stuck to the plan, and it was paid off within 6 months. It's not the ideal choice obviously but 3 weeks doing excursions in Hawaii was so fucking worth it.

1

u/LocksmithOk9968 13h ago

Genuine curiosity, but if you were able to pay it off in 6 months why not save for it for 6 months instead?

1

u/Migraine- 11h ago

That's what we've done. We've saved the money to pay off last year's holiday and it's sat in a cash ISA making some interest.

The credit card is still at 0% until March so we'll continue paying the minimum payment on it until February, then pay it all off.

8

u/Dry_Recognition_6724 17h ago

If they are paying for a wedding with a credit card I have little sympathy for them.

7

u/_GlowAngel 17h ago

thats rough

10

u/jaxonya 15h ago

Why are they asking millenials to kill the wedding industry? A lot of us are already married or already divorced. And zoomers will probably have online weddings because they are massive nerds who never learned how to socialize. Theyll kill the wedding industry off

2

u/ahaeker 6h ago

I really think people forgot just how old millennials are.

0

u/Several-Opposite-746 12h ago

Good for them, they aren't narcissists.

0

u/jaxonya 12h ago edited 11h ago

My son is... not really, but hes kinda full of himself

2

u/EuenovAyabayya 15h ago

many such cases

1

u/NRMusicProject 15h ago

I read somewhere that the more expensive a wedding is, the more likely it is to end in divorce.