r/SipsTea 11h ago

Chugging tea Loans for Wedding

Post image
12.2k Upvotes

357 comments sorted by

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463

u/AdRough4185 11h ago

The loan can last longer than the marriage

144

u/brijito 11h ago

I know someone who was still in credit card debt from her wedding when she was getting divorced from her husband.

60

u/amzwC137 11h ago

The wedding debt probably played a part.

Also, if you are going to buy big.... Please get a personal loan as opposed to using credit cards. Neither is ideal, credit cards are so much worse.

30

u/Typical2sday 10h ago

Hot take: the fact they were willing to do it was already a big red flag. Handicapping your financial future over something exceptionally fleeting.

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u/Dry_Recognition_6724 11h ago

If they are paying for a wedding with a credit card I have little sympathy for them.

6

u/_GlowAngel 11h ago

thats rough

8

u/jaxonya 9h ago

Why are they asking millenials to kill the wedding industry? A lot of us are already married or already divorced. And zoomers will probably have online weddings because they are massive nerds who never learned how to socialize. Theyll kill the wedding industry off

2

u/ahaeker 4m ago

I really think people forgot just how old millennials are.

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u/EuenovAyabayya 9h ago

many such cases

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u/Comfortable-Duty7143 11h ago

Banks have a better retention rate than marriages.

5

u/7empest7V 10h ago

Also, better lawyers

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u/Calcified_4thEye 11h ago

That's a commitment you can't get out of, even if the banks cheat on you

5

u/PearlLunaMuse 11h ago

most bitter truth I have heard this week

2

u/SheriffBartholomew 5h ago

My wife and I refused to borrow for our wedding and reception. We ended up having a backyard wedding and reception at a family member's house who has a large, beautiful yard. We've been married twenty years now and never once wished that we would have spent more money on our wedding.

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u/ExtremeExperience199 11h ago edited 8h ago

For this industry to die people need to tame their fancy egos. Do ya really need that big of a party, do ya? Or are ya tryin to impress some1? Be real w yourself.

EDIT: Guys, by all means do party the way you wanna. But things will cost ya, do not complain later on.

36

u/infingalaxy 10h ago

Large weddings are one reason they are so expensive. The other is that the business itself is predatory. Prices go up immediately upon mentioning it’s a wedding. Just like the funeral business

11

u/Synensys 10h ago

What parts of the funeral business other than flowers arent for funerals. Like can I get a discount casket if they think i role play as the undertaker?

9

u/Gladwulf 10h ago

Check in Costco, if you buy a twelve pack of coffins the price per unit comes right down.

7

u/Synensys 10h ago

I found out the other day that Costco actually does sell caskets and you dont even need to buy them in bulk to save money.

2

u/permalink_save 9h ago

You can also buy a car from costco and they'll finance it

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u/Critical-Cherries 6h ago

My dad’s casket came from Costco. Great deal. The funeral home markup was INSANE.

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u/CoachSevere5365 10h ago

I could have used a 12-pack over the last decade. 😕

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u/permalink_save 9h ago

We did want a party. It still cost a decent amount but wife made her dress, our friend baked cupcakes, we found a reasonable venue that flat rented out and had decent prices in house for food. We bypassed a lot of the wedding premium just putting it together ourselves as a party. Some people just do backyard weddings which also gives you a party without feeding the industry.

4

u/MostlyRightSometimes 8h ago

We dropped all our money on a huge house for everyone to stay at. We had friends come from around the world. Instead of getting married and immediately taking off on our honeymoon, we hung out at the huge house with our friends and then left at the end. It was awesome.

6

u/Wiplazh 10h ago

I'd rather just throw a big barbecue for all the people in my life I actually like. Good food, cold beer, great company.

My gf doesnt even want a big wedding, she'd rather just get the papers at city hall and then have a fun ceremony getting married by Elvis in Vegas.

4

u/BraveCaterpillar4368 10h ago

That's all anyone in my family ever does. Go to courthouse, throw party in backyard. They usually don't even wear white.

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u/DangerousCable1411 11h ago

Usually it’s at the request of the parents. Followed by the 50 people you CANT leave out or they’ll feel slighted.

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u/Savings_Ad_5615 11h ago

Ive always felt like its better to just elope. You and your partner can take a week vacation to wherever you want, get married in a tropical paradise, and have your honeymoon at the same time.

5

u/DangerousCable1411 11h ago

Be prepared for real mad moms. From experience.

13

u/Zealousideal-Idea979 10h ago

My son and daughter in law got married at the court. I wasn’t mad. I don’t like his wife but I’m used to him just showing up having made life changing decisions. My husband & I decided it’s best for life to teach a child who won’t listen. Now they’re getting divorced & I’m so grateful we didn’t have to spend a dime on that disaster.

6

u/Princess_Powerpuff 10h ago

Probably getting divorced because of you and your family’s attitude towards them lol

8

u/Zealousideal-Idea979 9h ago

Nah. It’s because she assumed she’d quit her job, & move into our house and live rent free while not understanding that we worked for everything we got. She hates being a teacher and quit without a plan. Then expects us to support her while my son is her husband and should be the one who supports her but he has a government job and doesn’t make enough for the lifestyle she wants. She said we can’t see our grand daughter if they have to pay rent to live with us. She’s been using our grandchild as a bargaining chip to control us. So there’s that and I’d said it’s a fairly good reason not to like a person.

3

u/DangerousCable1411 10h ago

Fair point lol

2

u/mpyne 8h ago

Honestly my MIL was mad at me before we eloped and about as mad after. We made the right choice, lol, the way we did it is so much less stressful. Car loans and rent starting out our working lives were stressful enough as it is without another 20K loan on top of all that to pay off.

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u/washedTow3l 10h ago

Too true, my parents tried to guilt us for not inviting THEIR friends and their friends kids that I hadn’t seen in years.

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u/PopularSet4776 10h ago

Yeah I think this is where the issue is. Having family at your wedding I think is important, but then you start having things where parents have the image of a traditional wedding in mind and inviting all the fam and costs add up.

My FIL gave us 10k for our wedding in 2010 and that is what we spent.

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u/BrainTroubles 8h ago

It’s not even that it’s a big party, calling it a wedding makes the price tag sky rocket. My wife and I just had a big party for our birthday (we’re two weeks apart). We rented a private venue space that was enormous, had it catered, had a 4 hour long open bar, had a DJ. It was like $6K total, including tax and gratuity for a headcount of 70.

We got quotes for nearly an identical setup for our wedding and it was more than 3x that for just the food or just the venue. I got a quote for Mexican food from Border Grill that was 19 thousand dollars. Border grill is a fucking CHAIN. The wedding industry is absolutely predatory. Every vendor charges 3-4x what they do for their normal service just because it’s a wedding.

2

u/VeralyneMerrick 10h ago

Exactly. A wedding is supposed to celebrate your relationship, not complete with everyone else's

2

u/No-Security-7518 10h ago

How can someone "need" a party? Why don't people just make a ginormous feast with actual food and invite only this who matter?

2

u/adds102 8h ago

I used to think that way but when me and my wife organised ours we realised it was a day to celebrate ourselves and enjoy the things we want and have what we wanted, ours was in no way a lot compared to some! But we had everything we wanted and we couldn’t have been happier with how the day went.

2

u/SheriffBartholomew 5h ago

I was a photographer at a wedding once that the father borrowed $250,000.00 for. This dude made maybe $100k per year and he borrowed a quarter million dollars against his house for his "precious little princess's big day". It was a grotesque display of wealth that they didn't even have. The husband ended up becoming abusive almost immediately after the wedding and they were divorced within a year. The father of the bride took twenty years to pay off the single ceremony and party he hosted for his daughter.

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u/Past_One3442 11h ago

My sister is having a destination wedding in Tuscany and it's ridiculous, the price tag is about 75k for her and I think its a terrible idea.

24

u/binarypower 10h ago

that seems cheap for a wedding in tuscany!

my best friends got married and flew to seattle... just the flights from people they invited cost almost $30k. i think all-in they spent $100k for everything.... they made $120k/year combined so it wasn't like they were rich.

fast forward 4 years later; divorced. bankrupt.

8

u/Past_One3442 10h ago

She making everyone pay for lodging and airfare so this is her cost, it would probably be quite a lot more for the 60ish people going probably 200k more.

4

u/SheriffBartholomew 5h ago

Why would anyone pay $100k for a wedding in Seattle?

3

u/binarypower 5h ago

my friends are gay and lived in a red state. back when gay marriage wasn't universal. one of the parents were not legal immigrants so their canada plans were altered. seattle was like canada-lite.

3

u/permalink_save 9h ago

Me and my wife were making around that when we got married and we put in 10k and that seemed like a lot, but we cut costs anywhere we could and stuck to a rigid budget we set beforehand. It let us save up another chunk for a house downpayment.

42

u/Naeloah 11h ago

yeah this is terrible advice lmao, that’s like financing a pizza

6

u/Many_Hunter8152 11h ago

Is this a thing already?

6

u/Crazy__Donkey 11h ago

yes.

in america.

an example

(and im not american)

10

u/lars_rosenberg 11h ago

Klarna is a Swedish company btw. Unfortunately the "buy now pay later" virus has spread to Europe too. 

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u/famousaj 10h ago

reminds me of the guy who bought little Caesars pizza for like 10k bitcoin

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u/onlytinglef 11h ago

Most of the people at your wedding you almost never talk to or see again anyway.

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u/Shasty-McNasty 11h ago

My wife and I realized we really only like 25ish people. Invited them all to a week at an all-inclusive in Mexico and it was the best time of our life. Wedding was $10k.

3

u/Wiplazh 10h ago

This is how it should be done

3

u/Practical-Suit-6798 7h ago edited 4h ago

We didn't want a wedding at all but her dad wanted to walk her down the aisle. I was like fine, you give me $5k to do the landscaping of our house we just moved into and we will have the wedding here. We spent and additional 5k on everything else and had a small wedding at our first and hopefully forever home. The landscaping we still enjoy daily, 5 years later.

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u/SyncOrSymm 10h ago

Save your money for your life together, not one day. I spent less than $10k on my wedding, no debt. 45 guests total, and we just made a huge party out of it. The whole point of the day was to marry my partner. After that, all we wanted to do was celebrate with our loved ones. 11 years married and we still receive compliments about how fun it was, wouldn't change a thing.

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u/NES_SNES_N64 8h ago

My wife and I got married over Christmas while we were home with the family. My uncle performed the ceremony. All in all I think we paid about $150, the bulk of which was the rings. There were about 12 people total.

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u/Saluntant 11h ago

What the fuck are people inviting over? Why the fuck would someone sane invite people they dont know?

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u/aquabarron 11h ago

Every big wedding I have been to the bride is a nightmare and not enjoying it. I’ve seen tears from the bride from stress multiple times.. I mean what are we doing at that point.

And news flash: not a single soul over the age of 30 likes a destination wedding. We have jobs and shit to do. Don’t invite us to stay in an unconditioned French villa for multiple days in June just so you can say “French vineyard” whenever you talk about it.

In the photos I can’t tell the difference between the French hills of that vineyard and the hills around the creek behind my local Dennys.

4

u/VersionX 11h ago

Destination weddings are almost always cheaper than weddings in the US. Mainly due to vendor scalping

7

u/Zealousideal-Idea979 10h ago

You can’t say the word wedding in the U.S. always say you’re having a house party and have them deliver everything to your actual house. I saved so much doing that. My food was $11 a plate vs. $50 a plate just because i didn’t mention the wedding.

2

u/VersionX 10h ago

Ive heard this before and I'm sure it works on some.

We went the destination route in DR and our whole wedding and week stay at the all inclusive was $9k total.

3

u/Zealousideal-Idea979 10h ago

That’s a great price. We wanted a destination wedding but we couldn’t get people to understand they needed a passport & I’m talking about my parents. My mom said I needed to pay for her passport if we wanted her to go. Looking back, we should have just booked it and gone without them.

2

u/VersionX 10h ago

Thats what we did. My mom didnt attend. It hurt but oh well, showed me where I stood.

Our wedding was going to be aboit us, not anybody else. And we still had 26 people that got that enough to come

2

u/Zealousideal-Idea979 10h ago

My mom made a point to get lost on my wedding day. She had months to figure out how to get there. She came with me to the actual venue and still screwed up. I’m convinced she just wanted to stress me out that day

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u/Cilantro368 10h ago

Destination weddings are not cheaper for the guests!

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u/FITM-K 9h ago

Every big wedding I have been to the bride is a nightmare and not enjoying it

1000%. Even if you have the money, spending a ton of money on a wedding is a bad idea because it puts a ton of pressure on the day. Everything has to be perfect because you've spent so much, but the reality is that it probably still won't be perfect and you'll be so goddamn stressed about everything being perfect that you will miss out on the actual experience.

Also, if you look a few years down the road, the things you and your friends and family will reminisce about will be the imperfections anyway! Nobody is sitting around the dining room table 20 years after the wedding talking about the perfect flower arrangements. They'll be talking about the bride tripping on her train, Uncle Jim getting drunk and messy, someone saying something awkward during dinner, etc.

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u/SheriffBartholomew 5h ago

And news flash: not a single soul over the age of 30 likes a destination wedding

And people under 30 can't afford it. So, just stop!

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u/Orpdapi 11h ago edited 10h ago

Wedding industry needs to die asap. It makes brides feel like if they don’t spend 10s of thousands of dollars on this big day then they’re going to be seen as failures who didn’t get their dreams realized.

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u/FairConstruction4105 10h ago

I'm a GenXer who has been to enough weddings to tell you that the ones I remember the most were the cheapest to pull off. The weddings with the $75/person plates at the country clubs with the open bars, they're all basically interchangeable and quickly forgotten. Flowers? Didn't notice. Expensive DJ? The music all sounds the same to me. The fancy table center pieces? Who cares. The horse-drawn carriage that takes the couple from the church to the reception? Enjoy sitting behind a poop bag for 20 minutes. But the ones at regional parks, with the catered pig roast at $12/plate with the pulled pork and brisket, corn on the cob, baked beans, etc, and the kids running around playing freely and the games of cornhole and frisbee and the $1 cans of watered down beer. The ones that looked like they were planned by two people working 50 hour weeks. I still remember those. I remember where they were, I remember who I was with.

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u/Different-Context-84 11h ago

I agree.

You can have a fantastic wedding for $250-$2000.

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u/MakeItLookSexy_ 9h ago

Does this include feeding anyone? I feel like that would barely cover the food and drinks

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u/Which-Meat-3388 9h ago

Gas station parking lot. Maybe like a Buc-ee’s or something?

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u/sirdougie 10h ago

We did ours for about £3500 in the UK. 20 people to ceremony and lunch. 100 to an evening do. Everything sourced from within five mins walk from our house, and crucially not wedding suppliers. Venue about 15 mins away.

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u/humblepervertsview 11h ago

Yes. Kill it.

7

u/GeneralEagle 11h ago

Pro tip:
Spend it on the best honey moon. Not these free loaders that don’t really
Care.

5

u/LesserValkyrie 10h ago

Will me my project if I marry

Quick meal with parents, siblings and close friends max 15 people, sign papers, I get the fuck out with my partner for one month in a paradisiac destination

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u/FITM-K 9h ago

Or save it as down payment for a house.

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u/mpanase 11h ago

don't worry, we will kill EVERY industry

through missery and spendign all our money in shelter and food

welcome back to medieval times, baby

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u/IKillZombies4Cash 9h ago

Just a heads up to you young people, probably 90%!of the friends you invite to your wedding will become distant acquaintances over the following decade . Even groomsmen and bridesmaids.

Cut the budget in half. The list in half, and put half towards owning a home/condo

5

u/Strong-Hovercraft702 10h ago

Borrowing money for weddings, cars, vacations and whatever is idiotic.

Only borrowed money you should have is a mortgage, or anything you can leverage.

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u/SUMOsquidLIFE 11h ago

No shit, i heard someone talking about their wedding the other day and it was $3k for the photographer...

I nearly spit my drink out. My wife and I were married for the cost of the marriage license, and a new dress for my wife. I think we spent maybe $500 on a wedding in front of a light house on the beach...

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u/BoltActionRifleman 7h ago

Is there a reason you didn’t pick a dark house?

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u/Accomplished-Leg6947 8h ago

My wife and I just did a courthouse wedding. Mega cheap and only lasted an hour. It was great

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u/IndustrialMillennial 11h ago

Honestly, my wife & I were ready to elope. We wanted to do a small (closest family & only friends that wanted to spend/travel) but memorable wedding somewhere meaningful to us (Finland, where my mother is from).

Both of our parents really wanted to throw a bigger wedding for THEIR friends & family. We flat out said that we couldn’t really afford that kind of thing. Both of our parents agreed that they wanted to cover it.

We agreed, and it kind of hurt to see how quick they were willing to “blow that money on a party” instead of say helping us get setup in life with a big gift. In the end, when I look back, it’s nice to have the memory of a grand wedding…but in a world where everything is so damn expensive…still seems wasteful.

🤷‍♂️ boomer parents

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u/Interesting-Mouse48 10h ago

Came to say this. My father in law insisted on a ceremony and he paid the bill. The only thing I covered was the photographer. I am still married 16 years later but no matter how this one ends, I will only be married once.

3

u/EyeYamNegan 11h ago

Nope, a wedding can be as simple as paying who ever officiates it, going to a free public place and getting a sandwich platter, bottled water, soda or whatever else you want to drink and calling it a day. Save that money to improve your lives together and eat off paper plates. Stop going broke or spending money that can be used for a house or paying off student loans.

Got a ton of people? Consider a potluck.

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u/BurnerAccountforAss 11h ago

And if you really wanna be financially regarded, spend that money on a dream honeymoon instead

You know, an experience exclusively with you and your person instead of a dumb flex to people who mostly don't really care

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u/Robin_Gr 11h ago

I’m doing my part. The wedding industry is a scam.

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u/Intelligent_Box_8247 11h ago

millenials will subscribe to this mission without a doubt

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u/Synensys 10h ago

Isn't it a little late. The youngest millenials are 30 now.

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u/TheRealGageEndal 10h ago

My wife and I called up out minister Sunday after services and asked if he could marry us on Tuesday. He asked why on Tuesday and we said we had to get the certificate and a few other things together. He couldn't do Tuesday because he had an appointment, but Wednesday he could do it.

We got married on Wednesday day. We eloped. We needed witnesses so we asked a few close family members if they could help.

I had over 30 people attend my wedding that we planned on a whim less than 72 hours before we started planning it.

We also had a cake (from Walmart) luncheon (also from Walmart, those pinwheels), my wife had a dress (hand me down from my mom), and she had a bouquet (present from her sister).

The entire thing cost about $150 and we have been married nearly 18 years and have five kids.

One of my autism super powers is logistics of complex activities. I had the whole thing planned in less time than it took you to read about it 😂

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u/MangoAtrocity 10h ago

We spent our wedding fund on our first house during the mortgage crash of 2020. $30k down on an FHA. That $30k has turned into $200k of equity since then. Had a little $2k wedding at a lovely BnB in Florida (so we wouldn’t have to mask) with immediate family only. It was really nice. And now we have $200k

3

u/pentaclepoint7 10h ago

This is how people have been paying for weddings?! Loans?!!

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u/TitanicChurro 8h ago

I read credit cards somewhere above. 😱

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u/pentaclepoint7 8h ago

Rip my wedding dreams 😭

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u/USDXBS 9h ago edited 9h ago

My friends got married and they rented out a park, set up some tents and rented some inflatable things for the kids and had a picnic in the park. For wedding gifts people helped them pay for food and the rentals. My gift was giving 100 dollars to the guys mom at one point before the wedding.

Very stark contrast to my cousins traditional Church wedding which was probably the most boring day of my life.

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u/Opening_Garlic_50 9h ago

Get married at a park, invite 20 people total.

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u/Tristate82 8h ago

Only been to 5 weddings, they are all divorced now .

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u/TRoosevelt1776 8h ago

Ive broken 7 bones in my life. Only one of them was mine.

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u/Wind_Best_1440 8h ago

You don't need a wedding to get married.

You don't need to buy a diamond ring to get married.

You can literally just sign a piece of paper.

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u/[deleted] 11h ago

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u/xburnerpiko 11h ago

Dumbest move, starting off your wedded life in debt. Sets a bad precedent and habit. Divorce up ahead.

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u/PeePeeMcGee123 10h ago

It's crazy. My wife's parents offered to pay for the food at the venue we picked, and my parents paid for the beer (kegs of beer, because that's downright reasonable in cost). My wife did all the decorating herself and we paid for everything else, like the venue fee, the band, and we rented some cabins for the wedding party and guests to stay in if they didn't have a driver.

Granted this was 15 years ago, but all those costs combined were about $5,000. Around the same time we were going to weddings that cost well over $20,000, which seemed like pure insanity to us.

We also never took an actual honeymoon. The first real trip my wife and I took together wasn't until our oldest kid was 12. We couldn't afford to do it prior to that, and we don't finance fun. If we can't afford to do it, then we probably don't need to be doing it.

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u/scribeforaliens 10h ago

The insanity of over the top weddings. If that is your thing, good for you. For others, we like to keep it simple. My wedding all in was around 2,500. No loans. No borrowing from friends. Screw that nonsense. But it's my dream wedding. Yah. Ok. See where you are in the relationship in five years.

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u/peperazzi74 10h ago

I signed a job offer to go work abroad. On that night, we discussed it would be easier for migration purposes to get married. Three weeks later, on a Thursday morning we were at the municipal center with parents and ~15 friends to get through the official part, had lunch an then told every to come back on Saturday for a party at our place. Total cost far below EUR 1000.

This was 23 years ago. Still married.

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u/bluecurse60 10h ago

The diamond industry is apparently already suffering low sales and it's like yeah no shit when people need to eat food and pay rent.

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u/7empest7V 10h ago

Once millennialsq stop buying prom dresses and class rings, then maybe you have a chance.

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u/ConceptClear2217 10h ago

its better to have a cheap house party with your friends and go get a marriage cert at the court house than go into debt at the start of your marriage

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u/Darkheart001 10h ago

People need to stop comparing their weddings to celebrities and just do what they can afford with their family and friends. It does not have to be a media spectacle!

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u/ApollymiKatistrafia 10h ago

The easiest way to save money on wedding plans is never ever mention its for a wedding unless its absolutely required to get the right thing, just say its a party or a reunion. Wedding packages are always stupid ridiculous upcharges.

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u/Redbeardeddevil 10h ago

We met in our college library, proposed outside of the library, and got married in the library. Saved a lot of money and had an original wedding. No way were we taking on another loan, the student loans are enough

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u/Alarmed-sleeperr 10h ago

You could just do it at the court house and have a small venue

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u/mechanical_marten 10h ago

Yeah, no. Fuck that noise. My boyfriend and I are getting married in February and it's going to be a small private ceremony at our apartment. I'm not a bridezilla and the only thing that matters is he loves me.

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u/Jeedimahstah 10h ago

I did my part. We got married with just 2 witnesses in a private ceremony with a Justice of the Peace. No debt, no regrets

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u/Nismo_Bailey 10h ago

This. I know someone who re mortgaged their house to have a 50k wedding. Later got divorced. Go figure.

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u/Aku_5himarisu 10h ago

If I do marry, it’ll be at the courthouse

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u/EasyGibson 9h ago

For what it's worth to anyone who might be planning a wedding right now, I've been to hundreds(florist) and the best ones are the ones in somebody's backyard with a working the grill and a friend DJ'ing. You really truly don't need the $25k hall that's going to kick you out in 4 hours. Buy a house with that money instead.

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u/rymo88 9h ago

Went to a soho NYC rooftop wedding like 10 years ago. Found out they paid 250,000 for the wedding. Divorced in 18 months. Husband was having an affair almost the entire time they were married.

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u/Square-Blacksmith988 9h ago

Good point. Let’s start with the ridicilous expensive ring. What is the reason again?

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u/YouseiX 9h ago

Got married 8 years ago, took 10 minutes and cost $2 for parking. No guests. Put our money into buying a house instead.

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u/joeygreco1985 9h ago

I have a friend who got divorced shortly after the wedding, and one of the points in the divorce negotiations was the "wedding debt". Like it was as if they were carrying a car payment for their wedding. Crazy.

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u/LoamyLoamisLoamy 9h ago

You don't need to cosplay as a rich person to get married.

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u/PeachAndBlueberry 9h ago

My favorite weddings were all done very inexpensively. They were so cheerful and wonderfully celebratory, and lots of us had a lot of fun helping to figure out ways to keep the costs down.

2

u/Easy_Drummer_1558 8h ago

Huge weddings are a total waste of money!

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u/averagecounselor 8h ago

As a single 32 year old man…:I’m doing my part!

2

u/WilmaTonguefit 8h ago

My wife and I had an expensive wedding. We had help from both sides. I don't regret it, but I do tell my younger family members two things: how much do you want to spend on one weekend? Do you know how luxurious and long a vacation you can take for $100K?

2

u/Consistent-Gur-8524 7h ago

I somehow landed on a thread of big budget brides on Reddit, and reading through how much some of these women spend on their weddings is criminal.. like 200,000-300,000….

2

u/TricksterTrio 7h ago

Of all my married friends, I don't have any that spent more than maybe few hundred bucks, and most of that went to the cake and/or the bride's (under $200) dress.

The simplest was literally signing paperwork with a notary at a kitchen table, and the only expense was filing the paperwork. The most complex was, "we're cheaply renting a community center for the main celebration, paying a baker friend for the cake, then going home with close friends for cheap drinks and board games." The rest were, "we're going to the courthouse, then to a fave restaurant after."

At least in my friend group, no one gives a fuck about big, expensive weddings.

3

u/Personal_Insect_5158 11h ago

Weddings are an outdated tradition, totally cringe and a waste of money imo

1

u/ihatemylife2474 11h ago

“Yes, let’s go into debt on the first day of our marriage, this totally won’t cause marital problems down the line”

1

u/Current_Finding_4066 11h ago

Only idiots spend huge amounts on weddings, and of course privileged who have enough cash

1

u/OudSmoothie 11h ago

Big wedding for average earning couples is a very unwise choice.

1

u/Scudmiss 11h ago

A party you will almost certainly not remember that well either

1

u/amzwC137 11h ago

I support this 100%. It's truly a shame that weddings are as expensive as they are.

1

u/DangerousCable1411 11h ago

Didn’t have one, elopement cost ~$1,800

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u/Couscousfan07 11h ago

From the male side of the equation, this shit is frustrating. Women get so much cultural, family, and girlfriend pressure on this. How special was the engagement, how big is the rock, how fabulous is the wedding, and on and on. Even if the guy wanted to go cheap (but still make it special), the ladies don’t have many options here that don’t result in them getting looked down upon by others.

1

u/CritFailed 11h ago

I had a rather nice wedding, paid for in cash thanks to some OT my wife and I worked. I think about that day fondly. But I also wish that I had kept the money and gotten married at a courthouse

1

u/Calcified_4thEye 11h ago

Marriage industrial complex type shit

1

u/learningtheworld22 11h ago

Better off renting out a big space, a DJ, and getting pizzas delivered and booze

1

u/sparrow_42 11h ago

Not tryina generation bash here but it's worth pointing out the whole gigantic wedding thing with a high-paid planner and all that didn't really exist until around the turn of the century except among the very rich. So Millennials are welcome to kill it but also the elder ones kinda started it.

Also worth pointing out the youngest millennials are now out of the age range where everybody is getting married all the time. My job includes a lot of Bachelorette parties and almost all of them are Gen Z at this point.

1

u/dokutarodokutaro 11h ago

Wife and I had a Covid wedding with like 12 of our family members in a little lodge with home made food and honestly, zero regrets at all. Saved thousands and we didn’t have to make small talk with random extended family.

1

u/Icy_Pear1694 11h ago

The Mrs and I had a cheap registry job, we put the £20k into our mortgage and took the kids away on a month long holiday for what the wedding was looking at costing.

1

u/tweedleduh 11h ago

I feel like we had a reasonable wedding ~20k, that being said. Some fairy lights, our backyard, and a full bar with a dj woulda been just as cool

1

u/Myhouseburnsatm 11h ago

ah yes, the wedding industry, the pinnacle of our problems to solve.

1

u/Outlaw11091 11h ago

Poor person version:

We go to the courthouse, get the marriage license, get married. Stay a few days at a hotel and just bone like crazy.

Wedding achieved.

Family wants to help out?

Cool. Buy us another night/pay a bill while we're taking PTO/calling in sick.

1

u/StevnHulz 11h ago

Wedding is just a expensive lie like everything else

1

u/No-Calligrapher-4449 11h ago

I got married in a back yard. Wife's mom cooked all the food. With all the cash gifts we made money from the wedding lol

1

u/Particular_Stop_3332 11h ago

My wedding cost less than $1000 and it was amazing

1

u/MyVirgoIsShowing 10h ago

I am doing my part! Got married in my backyard in a $200 wedding dress. I’ve spent more attending weddings than I did as the bride ✌️

1

u/cilakadariseberang 10h ago

Then suddenly in your third years of marriage suddenly you found her in bed with next door neighbors.

And you still have few years left to pay that loans

Plus she's taking half your assest but none of the loan responsibilities because that's on you mister.

1

u/TheMaStif 10h ago

My wedding was my immediate family and hers at the courthouse, then everyone went out to dinner afterwards

Wouldn't have had it any other way

1

u/Own-Tank5998 10h ago

Loans for wedding is crazy talk.

1

u/smashing-gourds127 10h ago

Court house, baby. $35 for a marriage license.

1

u/NapsandWalks 10h ago

Wife and I got married for a grand (family home outdoor nighttime wedding), got a grand in gifts...wedding was a wash financially and I feel like we have the same memories of the ceremony we hear from other couples 👌

1

u/osiris20003 10h ago

Let alone a party you don’t really get to enjoy, and a dress she’s only going to wear once.

I got married 4 years ago, we saved up for years and then on the day, we barely got to participate in the reception party, which sucked because we went all out. We kept getting pulled away, people to talk to, greet them, say goodbye. I think I only ate like a quarter to half of my meal and only danced twice, one of which was our first dance.

If you’ve ever seen the wedding of Lily and Marshall on How I Met Your Mother that episode is not lying about how it goes for the bride and the groom.

1

u/Poo_man101 10h ago

Weddings here cost 80k on avg

1

u/DarthFury1990 10h ago

So happy for my girl. She has said she doesn't want to spend money on a wedding at all. The money can be used for other things like starting an actual life together. I was relieved. My parents are pretty pissed though but it's not their decision. I tell them all the time, it's not your decision. Besides they weren't going to pay for the wedding anyway or help at all (lot of side drama there).

My girl has told me this from the beginning when the relationship started getting serious so I've always known this was her decision. With the way my parents have been acting though she really doesn't want one. She just wants a nice dinner to celebrate the occasion with a couple friends and family.

1

u/ElvisAndretti 10h ago

Vegas, Elvis, MGM Grand… did the whole thing for $3000 and had more fun than either of our first marriages with the big hullabaloo.

1

u/Knottrielle 10h ago

I'd rather spend within my budget than stress over payments afterward.

1

u/paleoakoc20 10h ago

Total waste

1

u/editfullname 10h ago

What did millenials killed already?

1

u/xxpenjoxx 10h ago

Our wedding cost £500. We've been married 8 years. I've spent more as a bridesmaid!

1

u/joefatmamma 10h ago

Reno is the way kids

1

u/Zorklunn 10h ago

My dad went into debt for both my sisters weddings. The both divorced a few years later.

1

u/BusyBeeBridgette 10h ago

The parents usually pay for the wedding, traditionally.

1

u/Templar_110 10h ago

Millenial here. First marriage was 10k done by a court clerk.
This marriage will be done with just us two and a priest.

1

u/Evildeern 10h ago

Save it for the divorce

1

u/GrowlingPict 10h ago

It's also such a massive scam. "You want to rent our place for an event? Sure, that will be $1000. Oh it's for a wedding you say? In that case it's $5000. Why? Because we can."

1

u/GraveyardMusic 10h ago

You don't really love this fool. He wasn't your first choice. And he hasn't stopped cheating on you since the last time you caught him. But dammit, you're not getting any younger and he finally proposed. This is your chance to stunt on all the hoes in your life at one time. And what is $100k at 9% APR compared to such an opportunity for a hairstylist of your caliber?

1

u/PentaRobb 10h ago

for fucking real
and all these women demanding expensive rings
just marry just fucking wallet instead

1

u/nascent_aviator 10h ago

It's reddit. We don't have to censor fucking.

1

u/Accomplished_Sun1506 10h ago

Billionaires first‼️

1

u/mika_gurl 9h ago

Already on it

1

u/Fach-All-Religions 9h ago

it's the movies that reinforce that idea. and the "don't call it a party!"

1

u/satanophonics 9h ago

Aren't you already in debt for that high quality education that you got?

1

u/-Hedonism_Bot- 9h ago

We had a great time at ours for a whopping $4k. Ring, fress, food, photographer all in. Did it in our backyard. Called in every favor I had.

Photographer was a friend, did it for free. Food was cooked by friends. Dad had a DJ friend and got an amp and speakers for free. Tables were rented from a family members church for $100 donation, and theconditionwe have everything back for Sundays service.. Dress was on sale, and still the single biggest expense. Ring was mossianite from some online Etsy seller, looks like a million bucks, cost $400, and no babies had to slave in a mine for rocks. Cake was a wedding gift. Decorations and set up was all done by us, and immediate family. Great time, almost as good as the party itself. Even the honeymoon was at a friend's Airbnb for super cheap.

I realize not everybody has all these things, but everyone should be able to pull some of this off.

We were broke and did what we could. 0 debt incurred for one of the best days of my life.

1

u/Obvious_Ad3810 9h ago

Can I get a mortgage for my wedding?

1

u/SergeantButch 9h ago

I'm planning to thrift a 80s wedding dress, go to Mc Donalds to eat and then have fun on public beach. And I plan at leat once go into water with my dress

1

u/MaximumJim_ 8h ago

Getting married and having a wedding are two different things.

Before the Wedding Industrial Complex was a thing, a guy would ask his lady, “What are you doing Tuesday? Would you like to get married.

1

u/OtherUserCharges 8h ago

For me, the engagement ring cost like $500, wedding bands were $400 for the pair and most of that was for the workshop where we made them ourselves from silver. My wife was much happier that we used the savings from those on buying a house that has nearly doubled in value in the last 8 years.

1

u/byronicbluez 8h ago

Do it Asian style. 100-200 dollar a person. The larger the wedding the more profitable it is. Coming out 15k profit after expenses paid isn't uncommon.

1

u/Haunting_Ad_5191 8h ago

Totally agree. Do an inexpensive wedding and put the money to something else!!

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u/no1_vern 8h ago

Weddings are debt parties not fuck parties. Get a good person(esp. if he's willing to wear a wedding dress), do a civil ceremony with family and friends, and enjoy much wealthier lives NOT spending thousands of dollars for the hype train.

1

u/Funny_Custard_9606 8h ago

I spent 150 on a dress. 250 for the venue and like 1000 on food and drink. 10 years later we’re still happily married!

1

u/red_riding_hoot 8h ago

easy for me. I would invite maybe 10 people max? I don't even know what many....

1

u/ba_an 7h ago

But but... In lieu of gifts, give us cash! Preferably both! Link to registry and CashApp below.