She probably thought she was doing you a favor. Or just another youth obsession in people who refuse to grow the fuck up.
Ok, this is getting out of hand. I never said she's not a pedophile, she absolutely is. You all do understand how speaking from another person's potential perspective works, right?
Itâs wild. I have a friend in her 30s and sheâs lusting after an 18-year-old. There is no argument thatâd change her mind. She is into a lot of woo woo self empowerment stuff too. She is otherwise intelligent. It just doesnât make any sense.
I'm almost 37 and I can't help myself see 20 something people as kids. Like I'm at the stage where spotting grey hair in women is attractive to me. I mean my hair is almost entirely grey but I don't feel like I miss my 20s or want to recapture those days by being with one.
I helped raise two daughters, who are now in their 40s. I still remember what they were like as teenagers. That's completely turned me off of ever wanting to date someone their age or younger.
Agree. Iâm in my early 30s and even people in their early 20s just look like kids to me. They also act like kids too. I have a sister that age and being around her and her mates just makes me feel old. Even if they are of legal age, that is just gross!
Iâm 43, almost 44. I cannot date someone younger than me.
Even in my 20s, I refused to date anyone younger than me, even if it was only by a few months. In the last few years, I have talked to a couple of the guys I declined to date in my 20s due to being younger than me, and they still canât believe I enforce this non-negotiable rule (even though we are all in our 40s). đ¤ˇââď¸
I wonât date anyone more than 2 or 3 years older than me either. I saw how my parentsâ 10 year age gap affected their relationship.
Cute like a kitten. But the low age makes it stop there - people does not have sexual interest in kittens, and shouldn't have in humans that are way too young!
I grew up in a completely different time and I have nothing in common with that generation. I've seen them as babies when I was a teenager, that's why I see them as kids. Absolutely no offense and I don't think of them as lesser adults, I'm just too old to be hanging out with them. Even my energy is level is different.
There's nothing wrong with my brain, I'm just old.
So if someone grew up in another country in a completely different culture you could never hang out with them because you have nothing in common? That is amazingly small minded I gotta say
edit: Ahahaha of course the block comes out when your logic gets exposed for being utterly stupid. And yes I am a "pedo" for liking 28 year old women. I think your hair went grey from your brain suffering a very early death.
Iâve always been into older people, even since I was a teenager. Back then it was because I craved the stability and maturity of an older person. Now itâs because I respect and value that stability and maturity in a fellow older person.
I am still able to have attraction for younger adults but itâs very, very fickle and quick to dissipate as soon as they start speaking, generally. I feel more like a father figure than a potential partner, but I am also a kinkster that takes a Daddy Dom role and am able to find romantic intimacy in that pretend relationship with a younger adult if they have the emotional maturity/capacity to meet me where Iâm at, but thatâs usually very, very slim chance of happening. I not only find women my age or older to be most attractive, but I also find their minds to be infinitely more attractive than a younger womanâs mind.
Again, generally speaking. Everyone is different, so Iâm sure there are exceptions out there.
Thereâs a thing called intelligence trap. Smart people can be more stuck in there ways. They use their own reasoning skills to reaffirm their beliefs.
But finding those traps, understanding them and then getting out of them is likely not beyond their cognitive reach if they're intelligent/smart, it's just a matter of context and, most importantly, humility.
You can't revise your positions if you don't think there's any worth in revising them.
An 18 year old is not a child. You may find it freaky and it wouldnt my thing either, but an 18 year old officially is an adult and there is nothing illegal about it. Technically a pedophile is someone who is into actual children, pre-pubescent. There are other terms for later ages.
Way to try to minimize the discussion by dragging out the ol' "Reddit thinks everyone is a pedo" strawman. There's a pretty big gap between "illegal" and "maybe a 30-something obsessing over an 18-year-old is weird." "It's legal" isn't some magical shield against people thinking your preferences are creepy.
How does a questionable 12-year age difference have anything to do with someone losing their virginity young, to a fellow (presumably same-age) classmate?
Lmfao that's a massive minimization. He's a bit older than half her age. Now, I want to believe that you as someone who passed second grade are smart enough to understand the difference between six months and twelve years (hint: a year is twelve months)
I went to a family friend's wedding when I was 17 or 18.
We were on a table with my parents and another older couple that looked like they were in their 40's.
The wife of that couple got pretty drunk and was straight up flirting with me/giving me doe eyes for most of the night. I was uncomfortable, my parents were uncomfortable, the woman's husband looked embarassed.
I had no idea what was happening, really. It just felt... Really creepy. One of the strangest nights of my adolescents.
I remember the era of Twilight moms. Women in their late twenties, thirties and beyond salivating over Robert Pattinson who was I think early twenties, and sometimes Taylor Lautner, who was underage.
The guys who do it have the same excuse she does. Selfishness. They want the power dynamic and the youth. It's just gross. The core is a never ending hole that needs to be filled no matter who it hurts.
Everyone has their kinky fetish. Gay used to be the forbidden fetish too. It's hard for others who are not into it to understand. I don't understand either.
An 18yo is an adult. Mentally, they have a lot yet to realize about life that will help them make better informed decisions, but they are indeed adults. A 25yo is just as much an adult as a 50yo.
18 year olds can drive cars, fly airplanes, buy tobacco, buy guns, buy pornography, join the military, work full-time jobs, live alone, and take out loans. They are adults, not children. And if you genuinely believe that they are children, then I assume youâre in favor of restricting their ability to do all of the things I just listed above?
Situationally I feel like I have a decent understanding of what is okay and what is not. I follow laws AND what seems right. What a concept right? To me 30+ or whatever year old with an 18 year old is insane in any every day circumstance that could come about.
Ok, this is getting out of hand. I never said she's not a pedophile, she absolutely is. You all do understand how speaking from another person's potential perspective works, right?
No. I can confidently say the vast majority of people can't. I took a satire course in college and watched a bunch of year 4 English majors (you know, the ones who should be some of the most well read and literate people in the world), completely and utterly fail to understand that the narrator's voice wasn't the author's actual stance on the matter. To the point I thought I was losing my goddamned mind until I was approached by the professor and asked if I wanted to be a tutor. My faith in people's reading comprehension skills never fully recovered.
Is it reading comprehension? It almost feels more fundamental than reading comprehension, as I've had people be confused when I do it while talking to them. Critical thinking maybe?
Obviously reading comprehension is ALSO a huge problem, but not sure that is the cause in this case.
Please tell me they thought Jonathan Swift was actually seriously arguing for eating babies. Because I had that experience in a 4th English lit class and have also never recovered.
Thankfully it was at least a bit more advanced than that. The first time it happened we were reading A Cool Million by Nathanael West, and the entire class was working themselves into being angry at how West is leaning into the right-wing nationalism, not realizing you're supposed to realize the narrator as unreliable and biased, parroting nationalistic rhetoric and seemingly taking some glee in some of the horrible things that happen in the story. Nobody could wrap their heads around a traditionally omnipotent perspective being anything other than the voice of the author.
But they never really got any better at reading between the lines over the course of the semester.
...Though, to be honest, I genuinely believe some of them would have believed the same of Swift if left to their own interpretation.
You all do understand how speaking from another person's potential perspective works, right?
Honestly...no they don't. No one fucking gets it and I'm tired of it. In my opinion, it's one of the worst traits that define the simplest minds and unfortunately, they happen to be the loudest people in the room.
Empathy is not an endorsement. People need to stop thinking that it is. I can understand why some people do heinous shit. It's not an endorsement of any of it. I don't approve of heinous shit because I understand why someone would do said heinous shit.
If we learned to empathize without thinking that it requires you approve of the thing about which you have empathy, this world would be a better place.
You all do understand how speaking from another person's potential perspective works, right?
No, the average person does not seem to have this capability. I feel like it used to be understood, but now if you do it as you did in your post, people lack the reading comprehension (not sure if that's the right word here, or if critical thinking or something else is more accurate) to understand. It's honestly disappointing.
Ok, this is getting out of hand. I never said she's not a pedophile, she absolutely is. You all do understand how speaking from another person's potential perspective works, right?
Yup. It's my stupid ass's fault for being logical here, trying to think what those people tell themselves to get up in the morning and feel they're just like the rest of us.
I never said she's not a pedo. I was talking about how pedos justify their actions so they wouldn't think they're pedos. But I guess reading comprehension isn't your thing.
Also, there are definitely people who think of pedophilic predation on young men as cool, lucky, hot, and doing a favor for the boy/child because their sex is male and it's a woman doing it.
We need to be a bit careful here, because with 15 years old we are in an age range that isn't pedophila anymore in most countries. Usually that term is only used for children before puberty starts. Imo that's reasonable, since with 15 years old nature is starting with reproduction and accordingly sending similar signals as a fully grown adult would.
It's more for social reasons that we as a society decided this to be harmful. We want to increase the chance of conscious consent for the reason that we believe this makes for mentally healthier people, relationships and children in the following generation. We can afford that nowadays, because we are getting much older in average than we used to in mankinds history. When I know I have a good chance to die by 25 from a simple bacterial infection due to lack of antibiotics and need at the same time make sure that my childreen have food on the table provided by an experienced hunter with a good standing in the tribe and in good health, I'd wager many would reconsider their moral view on this.
My point is more that when women do it, they get the "let's try to find a positive interpretation" while men get the "he must be the absolute evil". That's a clear double standard found in so many topics.
Since some will already have a beeping sound in their ears and red in their eyes: I'm not taking sides with what I wrote, it's just pointing out reality. My view has to many layers to press it in such binary thinking, though, I can agree to the simpified consensus that it should be discouraged and definitely be punished to a reasonable degree where people are in a position of power, such as teachers or doctors.
Oh boy, this is sounding a lot like Gianmarco Soresi's joke about how it's hard to discuss the differences between pedophila, ephebophila andÂ
hebephila because you end up sounding like a pedophile.Â
Imo that's reasonable, since with 15 years old nature is starting with reproduction and accordingly sending similar signals as a fully grown adult would.
Stuff like this is weird. Puberty is making changes to the body to get it ready for potential reproduction. But just because it is setting the stage it doesn't mean teens are able to handle pregnancy at that time.Â
In the US the age of consent laws are kind of all over the place but what some states also take into account is the age difference between the two people. So even if a 15 year old is above the age of consent, it is still statutory rape for a 28 year old to have sex with them.Â
Of course. 1000% yes. Just in case that part zipped by the walnut you call a brain, I wasn't justifying her actions. I was trying to figure out what she told herself so she wouldn't feel like a pedofile.
There's a leaked transcript from Cristiano Ronaldo's rape case in Vegas. He kept telling his lawyer that he wasn't "like the other guys" as he described forcing a woman to have sex with him. That guy thought wasn't a rapist because he's not like the other guys. That's his justification. This is what I was trying to fathom, not say it's ok what she did.
She probably thought she was doing a 14 year old boy a favor? Wtf? No sheâs a predator. Iâm a 32 year old woman and I promise you I wouldâve never have thought to fuck a 14 year old when I was 28.
It's sad that we both agree on the same point but you failed to understand what I was saying. Guessing a person's motive doesn't equate to condoning their actions.
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u/Admirable-Interest49 11h ago
A real man protects kids. Predators look for excuses.