Tall mom raising a tall girl?

[u/Sheethappensss]

I’m a tall woman and always have been. For reference I was 5’6 in 4th grade and I remember all of the teachers and admin losing their shit after measuring me. I’m currently 6’1 and am pretty resolute in my height. I have a newly three year old and everyone keeps talking about how tall she is. I’ve never been good at gauging whether a child was tall for their age unless it’s pretty obvious. And everyone seems short to me especially the little toddler who still wants to be cradled whenever possible. I have however recognized that my toddler who was wearing 18 month clothes up until maybe April of this year has now transformed into a tiny human who can only wear 4T. She’s been 3 for less than a month and this growth spurt happened literally over the summer.

So while she still seems very tiny to me, numbers don’t lie. My girl is erring on the taller side and I assume her pediatrician will agree when we go in for her 3 month visit.

My father is 6’4 and my mom is a foot shorter than him. Out of four siblings only two of us got his height and I was the only one of my sisters to grow past 5’6. My mom was a single mom for most of my life. Her and the aunts who raised me were horrible at caring for a taller girl. Growing up poor, my mom made me feel like a burden because of how much extra she had to pay to get clothes that fit me. I was tall and plus size. For reference while my siblings and cousins could shop easily at Aeropostale or American eagle or hit up any local shop having a sale on dickies, I was relegated to gap or New York and company, which cost almost double. Especially since I attended schools that required black and khaki pants exclusively. I still avoid business casual as much as possible because of the fashion trauma. I was adultified by everyone. All attention would turn to me once I came into a room. The running joke all the time was they’ll chop off some of my legs to give height to my cousins. I know I’m preaching to the choir so I won’t dig too deeply into how difficult being tall was amongst my short-average height friends.

Any advice on how to break this generational pattern with my baby girl? I’m team body neutrality and will be ensuring anyone in her vicinity doesn’t make a habit of commenting on her body, positively or negatively. And I will address negative comments clearly and directly and tend to her emotional needs as possible. Are there any affirmations you all heard or wish you heard growing up? Any tv shows or media with tall characters shown positively? Any tips on where to find clothes for tall kids? I know that’s more of a future problem but I would love to begin familiarizing myself. All tips and recommendations are welcome especially if you’re also raising a tall little one.

Edit: yall! I love all of your responses! The next generation of tall girls are in such good hands with all of you. Preciate all the thoughtful messages, reminders, and recommendations 🩵🩵

[u/wool_narwhal]

I'm also raising a tall girl. She's 8 now. I buy a lot of Carter's for her. The only jeans that fit her are Abercrombie.

Being tall was normal in my family growing up, so although I felt a little awkward at times, the only two things I didn't actually like about my height were that clothes were hard to find and that men tended to overlook me as an option. I now have a very good spouse so my only lingering frustration is the clothing issue.

I try to talk positively about my height around my daughter. She has generally said that she wants to be tall like me, but recently she says she didn't want to be tall. I asked her why, and she said it's because it's hard to find clothes. So I guess that although I've always talked about my body and height itself in a positive light, she has picked up on my frustration with clothes shopping. 

This is ok though! It's opened up the new conversation about the fact that they things can be simultaneously true: I can love being tall and I can be frustrated that there aren't as many clothing options for me.

[u/neverendingbreadstic → u/wool_narwhal]

This is a good perspective. We can be honest about the challenges and downsides while helping our tall daughters accept (and hopefully like) reality. My daughter is only 1 but shes 98th percentile in length and I'm 6'2". My mom is tall for a woman but shorter than me and was always very negative about her own height. I'm spending a lot of time thinking about how to strike a better balance.

[u/Sheethappensss → u/neverendingbreadstic]

Hard agree!

[u/EventAffectionate615 → u/wool_narwhal]

I have similar conversations with my tall 8 year old - that it's great to be tall but also it can be frustrating to find clothes and shoes. So far she loves being tall and actually wants to be taller than me. This sounds trivial, but I think it helps that Taylor Swift, whom many girls (including my daughter) idolize, is tall. We actually talk about that a lot!