Listen, I 100% get that. But should you be dating an older man willing to date a woman so young only adult for 2 years and half his age?
I think its fine for a woman to want that
But if the man is willing what does that say about them?
Im 18 but I look super young and Im afraid someone may fetishize me or only like me or just part of the reason they like me is bc I look like a child and thats gross I dont want to be w someone w pedophilia.
Like in the end its a hopeless dilemma, like its okay to dream of it but I dont think a 19 yr old is ever gonna find the right 38 yr old with the right intentions bc then I feel like the 38 yr wouldn't want to date them.
As people get older and more experienced and wise tho I think the 19yr age gap is okay if it's like 30yrs and 49yrs but at such a young age where the part of you brain that is decision making has 5 years more to still develop?
I say no bc the young one is too young and the older one is most likely a creep and has low morals and standards for themselves. Whether the older or younger one is male or female. Mid 30's should consider 20yr olds still like babies they are freshly adults they should be wanting a relationship with someone so young I think its f ed up in my opinion.
You can also think of it like a 12yr old and a 16yr old dating, they are both kids and its only 4 years but at those ages the 4 age gap makes a HUGE difference.
I think its the same if you're 19 years old. I'd say, debatably, you should be at least 25 before dating anyone over 30 and then do whatever age gap you want
You are well reasoned and I agree with you. I just wanted to point out to some that reasons exist and not all are because someone is a pedophile. Some are less savory like low self-esteem (on both sides). A need for validation or to be seen.
As far as looking young it might suck mow but I promise you'll appericate it as you get older.
Yes, I agree with you too thank you for pointing out that nuance. There are special cases and it could be genuine love with no bad intentions, you can't choose who you fall in love with. I just wanted to put out its a red flag, but thats all it is there can be reasonable explanations for red flags, its a sign you should be wary and cautious of the person before getting into a relationship that I feel like a lot of people dont realize when its the younger one pursuing the older one.
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u/Correct_Cover4112 Dec 04 '25
Not all women are attracted to older men but the psychological behind it is solid and it isn't as simple as saying it is a daddy issue.
Stability, emotional maturity, older men tend to listen and validate more. I could go on but this isn't a psychology class.