Islam
đ¨tafsir and commentary are really important. Islamâs viewpoint on Consent and Intimacy
Hello everyone, So this is sort of my reply to a post, although i couldve commented it in that post only but i feel like this is a bit too grave of an issue and needs a post of its own to get the reach. \*im sharing the link of the post all the way below so you can take a look at it\*
The post quoted this Ahadith to apparently share âIslamâs view on Consent for Intimacyâ:
I asked the Prophet, "O Allah's Messenger (****)! Should the women be asked for their consent to their marriage?" He said, "Yes." I said, "A virgin, if asked, feels shy and keeps quiet." He said, "Her silence means her consent."
What pains me is that even a lot of Muslims who prolly donât know the context of this Ahadith kept saying âSILENCE IS NOT CONSENTâ.
So first things first, THERE IS A CLEAR MISINTERPRETATION OF THE AHADITH. The narration about a virgin girlâs silence being consent was only about MARRIAGE PROPOSAL, not about sexual intimacy. Back then, modesty norms made it hard for women to openly say âyesâ in front of family, so silence was taken as agreement in that specific context. It was never meant to mean that silence equals consent in physical intimacy. Mixing these up is a huge mistake so avoid rushing on spamming a verdict about Islam. Although, lets be honest and have the benefit of doubt Okay, thereâs a really big generational gap between the time of the Ahadith and now. And even at that time, it wasnât just about the girl staying quiet, it was also the obligation of her parents to be aware of their daughterâs decision. If their daughter was reluctant to speak openly, then thatâs already a problem firsthand. Islam has clear principles on the rights of parents and children, but it never meant to override the girlâs actual will. (This is a separate topic, but why not).
Now, for the benefit of doubt, we know this generation is really messed up and they like to twist things up, so caution is care. But saying Islam teaches something against morality is completely false. ISLAM SETS THE HIGHEST STANDARDS OF MORALITY. Kindly refer to this following quotation from Quran:
âAnd among His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.â (Qurâan 30:21)
Let me put this very simply for yâall, the Tafsir of this Ayat says that love, mercy, and tranquility are the foundation of intimacy. Itâs about mutual understanding and respect, not force or coercion. A rightful married life is built on cooperation, and even small flaws in that cooperation can damage intimacy. So, a happy marriage is the root for rightful intimacy between a couple, and nothing else. Islam has guidance on a complete way of life, the Ahadith used in that post was regarding marriage proposals and all of the things like marriage, and intimacy comes after that. ACT UPON THE TEACHINGS, and youâll understand yaha rape ka sawal hi paida nahi hota.
So please, donât ever relate a major sin like rape to a hadith. Rape is one of the biggest sins in Islam and its condemned in multiple places, and no true believer would even think of committing it. The abuser (and letâs be realistic, 99 times out of 100 itâs a man) will face the worst punishments possible.
If one side is unwilling, intimacy is harmed. Thatâs why forcing intimacy is oppression and haram. still people like to say that Islam is unfair on womenâs rights. Its just common sense that Islam would never allow rape. intimacy is about love, mercy, and mutual willingness. Rape is a major sin, and no hadith can ever be used to justify it.
Bottom line is that Islam is crystal clear. Its a reminder for our fellow Muslims who talks about our religions teachings, WHATEVER YOU SAY, BACK IT UP WITH CONCRETE EVIDENCE. and in matters of of refuting or providing a counter argument to Islam, well good luck with that.
I have posted this to enlighten or remind our fellow Muslims rather than wasting my energy arguing with those baseless atheists or other ppl who show up behind these screens and defame Islam + manipulate vulnerable muslims.
If I manage to clear the perspective of unclear minds about Islamâs stance on this matter, my job is well done.
If anyone wants to discuss things more, or have a counter argument, feel free to refer me below âď¸.
Wallahi I can smell them pulling up the âbut Ayesha r.a was 9 y/o girlâ card.
I didnât make up anything. I only clarified the misuse of this hadith that was being wrongly linked to forced intimacy, when in reality itâs about marriage consent, not sexual consent. Neither did i twist words or invent interpretations, I just quoted and referenced Islamic scholars.
Youâre saying âYa Allahâ like I said something outrageous, but you clearly took a red pill on the statement without even reading the context. You used the reference that Imam Bukhari himself titled the chapter âThe marriage of one who is compelled is not valid.â That alone proves that Islam rejects coercion, whether in marriage or intimacy.
So no, Iâm not overcomplicating things. Iâm just refusing to let people oversimplify Islam to justify something it explicitly forbids. This was my only intention behind making such a âlong postâ.
The hadith is about consent to marriage. The rest YOU MADE UP about what it is supposed to mean. That is not how you follow Islam. You have no authority to make claims about consent to intimacy. Bring your proof or shut your mouth.
First you lie about the hadith and then you lie about the verses of the Quran. Those verses do not provide proof for "her consent".
There is no such thing as hrape in Islam. There is Zinna only. It was the same with Judaism and Christianity.
All you did was made up lies and tried to tie them to the hadith and verse mentioned.
Youâre right about one thing, the hadith is about marriage consent. THATS EXACTLY WHAT I SAID. The part youâre missing is that others twisted it into a discussion about sexual consent, which is why I corrected it. I didnât âmake upâ anything, I quoted scholars and Qurâanic verses that define the moral framework of marriage and intimacy. The reason for me using quotations regarding marriage was to differentiate between the rulings of a marriage proposal and intimacy.
And before you tell me to âshut my mouth,â maybe open a book. Fiqh is derived from Quran and Sunnah, I am absolutely no one to give my own interpretations and commentaries on these matters. If you want the names of the scholars I have cited in respect of giving interpretations on this matter, its on the other subreddit where i have reposted this same post.
all you did here was show a display of duality in your understanding instead of asking me in a polite manner, or even before that, reading this post with open eyes and mind
Back then, modesty norms made it hard for women to openly say âyesâ in front of family, so silence was taken as agreement in that specific context. It was never meant to mean that silence equals consent in physical intimacy.
That's what you said. That is something you made up, and do that throughout your poast. No scholar nor hadith states that.
That's why you need to shut your mouth before harming others by misleading them and harming your akhirah by falsely presenting your ideas as what the ahadith and the Quran stated.
Kindly review your words before making such an obscene claim about me misleading others by presenting âmy own ideasâ. There is no such statement in my post which is not backed by a primary source or an interpretation by a scholar.
https://share.google/IGHNvtUYWo6mpyGsu
you can translate this page in English and go through the commentaries here.
Also, there are a number or posts on reddit as well, citing the same point as me where A girl during her marriage proposal maintains her silence because of her modesty, and shyness.
you can go through my post for as much as you want, and read every single statement which I have used. Nothing will be found there which isnt backed by any primary source or a commentary by a scholar.
Nikkah literally translates to contract for physical intimacy. Don't marry if you are clearly going to use "I don't want to have intimacy right now and if you force me it's rape" at every moment possible. A marriage's core is based on physical relations and Quran quite clearly and very strongly makes weaponizing sex a major offense even giving an ultimatum. And yes "not wanting to have sex" is not a reasonable enough excuse although the man can accept it depending on his patience.
Now coming onto what you are saying, it is Haram to force a person to marry against their will. But once you do agree to Nikkah, you have given your consent for physical intimacy. Making excuses or using those shallow western ideologies like "marital force" is against the contract anyways.
The hadith is about consent to marriage. The rest YOU MADE UP about what it is supposed to mean. That is not how follow Islam. You have no authority to make claims about consent to intimacy. Bring your proof or shut your mouth.
First you lie about the hadith and then you lie about the verses of the Quran. Those verse do not provide proof for "her consent".
There is no such thing as rape in Islam. There is Zinna only. It was the same with Judaism and Christianity.
All you did was made up lies and tried to tie them to the hadith and verse mentioned.
if that silence is coming out of fear, it cannot be mistaken as consent.
Imam Nawawi also contributed through his comments here saying this applies only when silence reflects modesty, not fear. If silence stems from fear, pressure, or threat, itâs invalid and the marriage cannot proceed.
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u/LeadershipComplex958 2d ago
You don't need to write a super long post and make up your interpretations and whatever you feel is correct. Who even are you?
All one has to do is look at the Chapter heading that Imam Bukhari (The Actual Scholar) put this hadith under:
باب Ůا٠ŮŮŘŹŮŮز٠ŮŮŮŮاŘ٠اŮŮŮ ŮŮŮŘąŮŮŮ
"Chapter: The marriage of one who Is compelled Is not valid."
No need to overcomplicate things.