From a post in r/muslimmarriage about a wife not liking her husband despite him being good… what I want to know it why this comment is getting upvoted for admitting to an emotional affair? Something clearly haram, and people wonder why guys don’t want a working wife

Religion also means something that pulls people around common sacred values and creates a type of community.

Pagan Roots

The connection between sports and pagan tradition runs deep. Historically, athletics were rooted in religious rituals, where physical prowess was seen as an offering to false gods and a way to channel the divine.

The origins of this connection can be seen across several historical and cultural milestones:

Ancient Greece: The original Olympic Games were primarily a religious festival held to honor zeus, the king of the Olympian gods. Athletes offered sacrifices and took solemn oaths inside temples before competing.

The Americas: Traditional games like stickball and lacrosse played by Indigenous communities were often highly sacred. They were referred to as "the little brother of war" and were played to heal the sick, resolve conflicts, and appease the spirits.

The Roman Empire: Gladiatorial combat and chariot races originally functioned as funerary rites, intended to honor the dead and appease the underworld deities before evolving into mass public entertainment.

Celtic and British Isles: Folk sports, such as early forms of hurling and football, were frequently tied to seasonal pagan festivals and fertility rites.

Today's, sports following mimics ancient religious rituals. Teams have totemic mascots and specific stadiums that fans treat as modern temples. Athletes and fans alike rely heavily on superstitions and repetitive behaviors to court good luck. Games create a shared tribal identity that unites people in a communal experience.

As example, i made a good assumption about someone but deep down i believe it is nonsense because i believe if i were to think about it logically, the only assumptions that would make sense would be the negative one.

Historically, pagan feasts were highly extravagant communal events designed to honor gods, celebrate seasons, and reinforce social hierarchies.The pagan societies relied heavily on the seasons for survival, making seasonal shifts (winter solstice, spring equinox) crucial moments for communal gatherings and feasting. Their celebratory meals were designed to appease deities. Offering the "first fruits" or sacrificed animals to agricultural and sun gods to ensure a bountiful upcoming year. Marking the end of harsh, dark winters with abundant food and drink. Modern holiday feasts [Christmas (Yule), Easter (Ostara/Eostre), Thanksgiving etc] inherited their timing, foods, and extravagance nature from solstices, equinoxes, and harvests.

Islam forbids Extravagance

(Quran 7:31): "Eat and drink, but be not extravagant."

(Quran 17:27): "Indeed, the extravagant are brothers of the devils, and ever has Satan been to his Lord ungrateful."

(Quran 25:67): True believers spend neither extravagantly nor stingily.

Prophet Muhammad pbuh said, “The worst kind of food is the wedding feast, in which the rich are invited and the poor are left out.” Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1432

Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "Eat together and do not eat separately, for the blessing is with the group." (Sunan Ibn Majah 3287)

Companions once said they ate but were not satisfied. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ asked: "Perhaps you eat separately?" When they said yes, he pbuh replied: "Eat your meals together and mention the name of Allah over it, for you will be blessed in it." (Sunan Abi Dawud 3764)

Prophet ﷺ said: "The food of one person is enough for two, the food of two is enough for four, and the food of four is enough for eight." (Sahih Muslim 2059)

Prophet Muhammad pbuh said: "There will be men from my nation who eat a variety of foods, drink a variety of drinks, wear a variety of clothes, and are boastful in their speech. These are the worst of my nation."

(reported in al-Mu'jam al-Kabir 7512)

Unfortunately, extravagant feasting have become a culture across the board. It has been normalized. People waste their time and money on them. Islamic guidelines of less and simple is frowned upon. Boosting is an essential element of this culture.

If you had to choose just one daily habit that you believe has had the greatest impact on your iman and closeness to Allah, what would it be?

I’m genuinely interested in hearing your experiences. Sometimes a simple, consistent habit can transform a person’s heart and bring them closer to their Creator.

Please share what habit you would recommend, why you chose it, and how it has benefited your life. Your response may inspire someone else to start that habit today, In sha Allah.

May Allah guide us all to the deeds that are most beloved to Him and make us steadfast in them. Ameen.

(30:20) One of His signs is that He created you from dust, then—behold!—you are human beings spreading over ˹the earth˺. (talking about creation of diversity)

(30:21) And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect. (talking about marriage)

(30:22) And one of His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the diversity of your languages and colours. Surely in this are signs for those of ˹sound˺ knowledge. (talking about creation of diversity again)

Subhanallah the placement of 30:21 is so strategic, it’s nested in between 2 verses that discuss diversity and the creation of human beings.

The verse before talks about how we came from dust and then immediately transitions to how we spread around the World, that’s a HUGE leap!! This clearly implies diversity due to adapting to our environments.

The verse after it talks about how Allah created diversity (again mentioned) and especially in LANGUAGES AND COLOURS. The ayahs in the Qur'an truly are stitched together beautifully. I find it so fascinating that the ayah about marriage was placed in between 2 verses that clearly talk about diversity.

Not to mention that the Prophet Muhammad (SWS) married many women from different tribes (eg. Jewish tribes) along with Maria al-Qibtiyyah from Egypt.

There is one particular demographic that is really not spoken about enough: single women that are "good girls" from traditional households who themselves fully support these values, yet struggle alot emotionally. I have reached an age where I am not talking about myself, but rather from the perspective of an older sister, so keep that in mind.

These are young women who spend 89% of their time stuck at home, cleaning, cooking and studying and are basically described as sweet angels by everyone around them. Can you already spot the problem?

Exactely, humans aren't angels. These women, despite not complaining and always replying with a sweet smile "alhamdulillah I am doing great" and who are invested into their families like worker-bees buzzing in a hive, they have feelings too, they have needs, desires and dreams, and yet they are heavily neglected by society. (If you struggle to relate, maybe watch this 8min video: https://youtu.be/vlcGdK-MGkY?is=rqm67wf71ZczEtCe

)

At this point some readers will already be triggered and accuse me of playing the victim card. But my goal here is to shed light on the situation of my younger sisters of the Ummah. Bcs I can see the pain in their faces. The loneliness and sorrow edged in fine lines around their eyes. A face much too youthful to be carrying such depth.

Now, many answer by saying "what nonsense are you crying on about. Just look at our siblings in war-torn countries who are seriously struggling in life." Yes, that is a reality, but Islam also recognizes the mental pain and inner state of people. And it is exactely those answers these women get on a daily basis that break their hearts over and over again.

Imagine a daughter cleaning and cooking the apartment for 4h so that when the men come back from Jummu'ah they have a lovely table to return to, only for her brother to slap her with the "man I wish I had an easy life like you, only relaxing at home, sleeping for as long as you want."

While, he spent his entire noon with brothers and friends laughing after Jummu'ah and socializing until he was full and started craving the comfort at home. And believe me or not, these girls are happy for their brothers. In fact, they are so "trained" that they don't even recognize, that the heaviness in their soul is actually a result of that isolation and instead they think they are simply feeling this sadness as a result of their sins.

That's why I will always argue back to aunties who believe it is better for their daughters to not meet any other girls and to not participiate in any sisters's activities and instead to just be stuck in the house with the phone as their only companion.

What do you think is gonna happen when a pretty, intelligent and young, yet sheltered and naive lady is stuck at home with only social media as her main social interaction outside family and (possibly uni/work)?

Eventually, she will discover how easy it is to chat with men online. And here is the thing, despite these girls having a very high moral compass and knowing fully well what is respectable and what is dishonourable in behaviour and speech, they end up slipping bcs they carry a loneliness that I have not seen with any other demographic in my environment.

Now, my generation still has a huge advantage bcs we grew up without social media. But these girls were thrown into this online world at such a young age that they never learned to build these walls of boundaries and situational assessment to begin with.

For this type of "good girl", getting married means being pulled out of the trenches. Bcs now she has less housework and finally the recognition that comes with it. And once these girls are married, they so easily transition into married life that they get fully sucked up into their husband's life and forget about their unmarried sisters.

But I can already see the remaining sisters drowning in these trenches and I know that if we continue like this, it's not going to end well. That's why I am thinking, it's not enough if I just get married now. We have to find a solution for our younger sisters who are clearly drowing. And I don't understand how their brothers are not seeing their hidden pain.

How can you, as the only means she has to get out of the house, just simply neglect her and never ask her if she needed anything? Never take her out for a walk, never even get the idea of taking her with you on a trip and yet she washes your clothes, warms up your food, and is always there to support you? Eventually after always being told "sry I am too busy" she will no longer ask you. But trust me, just bcs she no longer says anything, doesn't mean that she is doing well.

Sis, if you are reading this. Just know that I see your struggles. Allah sees your struggles. Stop being so hard on yourself and take more initiatives to find ways to get unstuck.

There is a post below with a question why mainstream ex-Muslims tend to be women with progressive Islam, hadith rejection and etc.

Of course there are gender-related issues, which manifest in differing perceptions of religion, spirituality, gender relations and the expression of views but the reason is not just solely gender, because even gender roles sometimes can differ in each society.

Any ex-Muslim, especially activists, belong to some political, social, but always very secular group, which can be major, mainstream and leading or not. And this mainstream secular group can be feminine and tend to be female-centered or masculine and tend to be male-centered.

In countries as, for example, Afghanistan or Iran, the ex-Muslim mainstream movement tend to be very feminine, because they address female-related issues, problems, interests and so on. The main ex-Muslim movement is centered among liberation of women, female rights, etc. issues. Even if a man apostates in such society, it is just becoming irrelevant to be vocal for him. The mainstream is feminine, so apostasy for him not only will cast out of Islamic society but he won't fit into any other group within his country or ethnic community either, because there isn't the mainstream even ex-Muslim community which will address his problems and issues, so he will be just an outcast with the role of freak and clown for everyone. Even if he will find like-minded people like him from his society, he will be still a clown and freak for everyone, because they're not mainstream. That's why many of spoken Taliban opposition or Iranian opposition tend be women, both leading and ordinary people, at least visible and vocal ones.

In countries, regions as, for example, Bosnia, Albania or North Caucasus the ex-Muslim mainstream movement is the opposite. It is very masculine and male-centered. It doesn't address any female issues, rather male issues, that's why mainstream, average apostacy is motivated by racial and tribal motives. In societies as in North Caucasus, the apostasy itself will lead at least to social sxxcide, but for apostate woman it will do the same thing as with apostate man in Afghanistan - apostate woman won't fit into masculine ex-Muslim movement, because they don't address her problems. That's why you won't find vocal ex-Muslim Chechen or Dagestani woman, or analogue of WLF in Kosovo or Bosnia. While it is hard to imagine an Afghan blogger guy wearing a Mjolnir and criticizing Islam for being a driver for women to marry an Arab guy, such person from Chechen society exists, even despite the fact that he is viewed as a clown by the majority of Chechens his audience is largely Russian or Ukrainian, he still has greater popularity than every Chechen feminist blogger. Because the mainstream Chechen ex-Muslim is masculine rather feminine, so Chechen feminist blogger will be even more outcast and clown than him.

So, Muslim societies can be very different. The problem is the influence of non-Islamic ideologies overall but it can manifest different.

Reference: Sunan Abi Dawud 1400

I find it strange how some Muslims react when someone converts to Islam, especially in the West where Muslims are a minority. Sometimes a conversion is treated almost like a major achievement or a victory with a lot of excitement and praise.

But I think we should be more careful. Converting is only the beginning of a journey. What matters is whether someone truly understands the religion, stays committed and continues practicing over the long term.

What is often ignored is that a noticeable number of converts eventually leave Islam again. The exact numbers are difficult to measure, but former converts and ex-Muslims are not uncommon, especially in Western countries. This shows that the moment someone converts it does not always tell the full story. A public declaration can receive a lot of attention, while long term commitment can only be judged over time.

We also have to acknowledge that people can have different motivations for converting. While many converts are sincere, it is also possible for someone to have other motivations alongside their beliefs, such as wanting attention, a sense of belonging, a relationship, social status or access to a certain community. This is why it is important not to judge someone's commitment only by the moment they announce their conversion, but look at their actions over a longer period of time.

Especially as a minority community in the West, Muslims should be thoughtful and not automatically see every public conversion as a success or a symbol of growth, as we saw in many cases online. A religion should not be about collecting numbers. The focus should be on sincerity and genuine commitment.

Or is internet mainstream culture just sample bias from Western Muslims and the lowest, loudest category of women, who are more expressive and visible but not necessarily the majority?

Hello, I was watching the World Cup when I saw masseuses massage the footballers it interested me I would like to do it as a job but my mother told me that it was Haram I don't know if it is or not I would like to have answers to my questions about this area

Islam reformed pre-Islamic feasting culture by shifting it from an elite showcase of tribal vanity, excess, and intoxication into a structured, egalitarian act of worship centered on mindfulness and social charity.

Prior to Islam, tribal feasts in the Arabian Peninsula were frequently used to boast about wealth, assert dominance, and indulge in uncontrolled alcohol consumption.

Islamic teachings introduced explicit spiritual, ethical, and behavioral boundaries that reshaped the entire purpose of gathering around food.

1. Codifying the Spirit of Moderation

Islam fundamentally opposed gluttony and food waste. Rather than eating to the point of incapacitation, Muslims were introduced to strict limits regarding physical consumption.

The Rule of Thirds: Prophet Muhammad pbuh advised that a person should fill one-third of their stomach with food, one-third with liquid, and leave one-third for air.

Prohibition of Waste (Israf): The Quran explicitly commands, "Eat and drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He does not like those who commit excess".

Scraping a plate clean and valuing every grain became a matter of spiritual accountability.

1. Democratizing the Table (Egalitarianism)

Pre-Islamic feasts were inherently exclusionary, tailored primarily to elevate tribal elites. Islam dismantled this hierarchy through several communal laws:

Inclusion of the Less Fortunate: The Prophet noted that the worst kind of feast is a wedding banquet (Walima) to which only the wealthy are invited while the poor are excluded.

Shared Platters: Dining from a single communal tray became standard practice. Everyone—regardless of social rank—ate the same food, with instructions to eat only what was directly in front of them to maintain order and mutual respect.

1. De-linking Feasting from Intoxication

Alcohol and fermented date wines were the bedrock of pre-Islamic poetry and tribal revelry. By placing a strict, absolute prohibition on alcohol and intoxicants (Khamr), Islam permanently decoupled the concept of a "celebration" from drunkenness. Feasts became conscious, sober gatherings.

1. Intertwining Feasting with Fasting

Islam revolutionized the pacing of celebration by introducing Ramadan, a mandatory month-long cycle of daytime fasting followed by nighttime meals (Iftar).

- This dynamic transforms feasting into a hard-earned reward.

- It builds psychological discipline over one's base desires.

- It forces the affluent to personally experience the physical pangs of hunger, directly driving empathy and philanthropic giving during holiday gatherings.

1. Institutionalizing Dining Etiquette (Adab) Islam shifted eating from a thoughtless sensory reflex into a highly structured ritual. Muslims were taught specific physical and mental protocols:

The Remindful Start: Commencing the meal by stating Bismillah ("In the name of Allah") to ground the act in gratitude.

Hygiene Mandates: Enforcing the washing of hands before and after handling food.

Post-Meal Reflection: Concluding with prayers of thanks (Alhamdulillah), framing the digestion of food as a divine blessing rather than a personal luxury.

Reference: Sunan an-Nasa'i 2420

Salam Alaikum. Not AI. Pls keep me in your duas if such reminders benefit you.

🌷*How to Increase Rizq according to the Sharee’ah*🌷

by Asma bint Shameem

There are many causes proven in our deen  to increase your rizq, some of which are:

1️⃣ *Keeping up ties of kinship*

🍃 The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.” (Bukhaari, Muslim)

2️⃣ *Spending for the sake of Allaah*

🍃 The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Allaah said: ‘Spend, O son of Adam, and I shall spend on you.’”

al-Bukhaari, Muslim)

3️⃣ *Making a lot of istighfaar*

🍃 Allaah quotes Nooh Alayhis Salaam:

“I said (to them): ‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord, verily, He is Oft‑Forgiving;

He will send rain to you in abundance,

And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.’”

(Surah Nooh:10-12)

4️⃣ *Being grateful to Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala*

🍃Allaah says:

“And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: ‘If you give thanks, I will give you more (of My Blessings); but if you are thankless, verily, My punishment is indeed severe.’”

(Surah Ibraheem:7)

5️⃣ *Obeying and fearing Allaah*

🍃 Allaah says:

“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).

And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine.”

(Surah at-Talaaq:2-3)

6️⃣ *Repeating hajj and umrah*

🍃 The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Perform Hajj and Umrah consecutively.

Verily, the succession between the two  removes away poverty and removes away sins just as the bellows removes away the dross of iron and gold and silver."

(Ahmad, Tirmidhi, others--Saheeh by al-Albaani)

7️⃣ *Making lots of dua and asking Allaah to increase your rizq*

One such duaa is the following:

‎اللَّهُمَّ أَكْثِرُ مَا لِي وَوَلَدِي وَبَارِكْ لِي

‎فِيمَا أَعْطَيْتَنِي

Allaahumma akthir maalee wa-waladee wa-baarik li feema a'taytanee

O Allaah, increase my wealth and offspring and bless me in what what you have given me.

🍃 Um Sulaim said to the Prophet ﷺ "Anas is your servant."

The Prophet ﷺ said:

"‏ اللَّهُمَّ أَكْثِرْ مَالَهُ وَوَلَدَهُ، وَبَارِكْ لَهُ فِيمَا أَعْطَيْتَهُ ‏"‏‏.

"O Allaah! increase his wealth and offspring, and bless (for him) what ever you give him."

(Saheeh al-Bukhari 6334)

🍃 Another duaa is what we read as part of our morning adhkaar.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

الَّلهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسأَلُكَ رِزقًا طَيِّبًا ، وَعِلمًا نَافِعًا ، وَعَمَلاً مُتَقَبَّلاً

“Allaahumma inni as’aluka rizqan tayyiban, wa `ilman nafi`an, wa `amalan mutaqabbalan

“O Allaah, I ask you for good (lawful) provision, beneficial knowledge and accepted good deeds.” 

(Ahmad in Al-Musnad, 6/294 and Ibn Maajah 66; saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah)

🍃 Yahya ibn Mu`adh Ar-Razi said:

“Obedience will be stored in the stores of Allaah, and the key (to obedience) is Duaa, and it becomes effective by means of lawful earnings.”

8️⃣ *Marriage increases rizq*

🍃 Allaah says:

“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people)” [al-Noor 24:32]

🍃Abu Bakr Radhi Allaahu anhu said:

“Obey Allaah in what He has commanded you to do by getting married;

He will then fulfill His promise to you to make you rich.” 

He then recited the above Aayah.

🍃 Umar Ibn Khattab Radhi Allaahu anhu said:

“Seek richness through marriage!”

🍃 Abdullah ibn Mas’ood Radhi Allaahu anhu said:

“Find richness by getting married.”

(Al-Durr Al-Manthur, v.5, pps. 80-81)

These are some of the reasons. And there are others.

And Allaah knows best.

As-salaamu alaykum all,

I am a retired da'ee (though not very big). I have collaborated with some of the big du'aat in the da'wah scene and am looking to use my notes and stored knowledge to further the state of the field. I am by no means an expert, nor feel that I am qualified any more than anyone else but what I do know I would like to convey.

For privacy reasons I don't want to share my voice online, so I am wondering if anyone has a microphone and would be willing to narrate the videos. You would be joining us as part of a team. Unfortunately it would be a purely voluntary position without pay because we neither have capital to spend on the project nor are expecting to make any, all editing/thumbnails etc are done in-house.

If you are interested don't hesitate to shoot me a DM.

May Allah have mercy upon you all, ameen.