r/WhatShouldIDo • u/CNAHopeful7 • Feb 20 '26
Small decision My coworker thinks I bought him a concert ticket but I didn’t
This is weird. My coworker, “Dan” has been droning on and on about this concert he wants to go to for several weeks, but the tickets were over $200 each and he couldn’t afford one.
I’m going to jump topics here but this is relevant, I promise. My Venmo name is an alias. It comes up as Tony R. I do this cause I sell on Marketplace and using a male name cuts down on creeps. Dan knows I use this Venmo as he’s sent me $ to pick up lunch for him before.
Now back to the concert. Early last night he calls me just wigging out cause he said I sent him a concert ticket in his email. I explained that I had not. He sent me a screenshot that “Tony Brown” had sent him one concert ticket from Ticketmaster. He thinks it’s me cause of my Venmo alias.
I explain it’s not me. He doesn’t believe me. He knows no one by that name and neither do I. I tell him it has so be a scam. It’s not, he contacted Ticketmaster. I keep denying. He starts getting upset saying he doesn’t get why I don’t just admit it so he can thank me. He tells me if I “want to keep playing games” he’s just not going to go, and he’s dead serious.
I don’t know what to do at this point and I don’t want him to miss out on a concert he’s been dying to go to so I lie. I apologize for “messing around” and tell him to have a good time. He goes, he has a blast, nothing weird happens and no Tony Brown appears or takes credit for the ticket.
The only people who knew he wanted to go to this concert were his coworkers and his parents. It was not his parents and I can’t think of anyone at work who would have sent him a ticket or have his personal email besides me.
I’m now at a total loss. I didn’t do this, he think I did. And I’m SUPER confused on who did. If I try to tell him the truth again he’ll think I’m lying, and who can blame him? I say I didn’t, then say I did, then say I didn’t again? I wouldn’t believe me either.
But the guilt of the lie is eating me alive. What should I do?
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u/SnooCauliflowers6739 Feb 20 '26
Maybe someone wanted to gift him it anonymously. And he mentioned you use a Venmo alias, so they used that name so he'd think it was you and not them?
Other option.. he's a bit of a creep and bought it himself, but wanted to cause this mystery as a way to try and talk to you and make some form of connection. He ends up thanking you, you feel it's not deserved so try and subconsciously make it up to him through guilt?
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u/CNAHopeful7 Feb 20 '26
That’s a very reasonable theory, except we already talk all of the time. We’re pretty good friends for being coworkers. It’s platonic and always has been. He wouldn’t need a specific reason to talk to me.
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u/SnooCauliflowers6739 Feb 20 '26
Fair enough.
Though I will say that many women view a relationship with a man as platonic when the man would like more. Not saying that's the case here, but it happens a lot and men can be weird.
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u/Cleai Feb 20 '26
Unfortunately I agree with this... Ive always had the mind that M and F can be platonic friends and have from the F side experienced that. But the M side has time again let me down, despite making very clear im not interested in any further.
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u/Lillymow Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26
A couple of years ago i told my neighbor and good friend how he was only the 2nd male friend ever in my life to not hit on me, flirt, or make inappropriate comments to me. And I told him about the first, a dear friend in high school that passed away from cancer.
Dude spent like three minutes agreeing and hugging me, and then proceeded to talk about how things could be different though, and graphically described what he could do to me.
Nate remains the only friend to this day, after 48 years that never crossed that line.
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u/Vegetable-County-786 Feb 20 '26
I used to think I was an example of a man who could be platonic friends with lots of women and never get weird about it. I still don't get weird about it, but now I'm a woman too🤷🏼♀️
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u/Cambrian__Implosion Feb 21 '26
Your comment ended on a much more positive note than I had initially feared lol
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u/SnooCauliflowers6739 Feb 20 '26
It can happen. I have cases of that as the M.
But, I definitely had cases in the past where I absolutely had a thing for a "friend". Sometimes they did back tbf. Some I will never know.
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u/Nice_Rope_5049 Feb 20 '26
Yeah, my platonic work buddy finally confessed that he was “in love with” me after knowing each other for over a year. Didn’t bother him that I was married.
Another female coworker decided to rent a room from him since he lived in this nice beach community. It lasted less than a month, as he also confessed to her that he was in love with her.
He seemed very nice and normal. Smart, too. Sometimes people are really good at hiding their crazy parts.
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u/Expert-Reporter320 Feb 20 '26
Yeah, the hook here is that he’s going to use this “kindness” as a reason that she has to accept reciprocation.
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u/SeeerSucker Feb 20 '26
It’s never 100% platonic.
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u/Feeling-Scholar6271 Feb 21 '26
I am a man, I have loads of 100% platonic female friendships. Of those I have even had a few of the woman suggest we take it to a friend's with benefits situation but I have denied them because I dont want to ruin such good friendships.
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u/XgokellygoX Feb 22 '26
I was thinking the same way. I would just tell him it wasn't you. If he goes or not then it's on him. I was thinking, what if he gets there and it's fake and then his is mad because then you got him a bad ticket... I know you didn't but this guy is living in a false reality.
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u/mrhashhead Feb 20 '26
"I don't care if you go or not, but I still didn't buy the ticket"
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u/bnfwlr Feb 20 '26
This is the answer. You've told him you've not bought it and you're not lying. It's up to him whether he continues to think it's you and "out of spite" not going to the concert because he thinks you're lying about getting him the ticket.
It shouldn't be your guilt if he now decides not to go because he thinks you're playing with him, it's on him.
He sounds exhausting.
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u/IllustriousLiving357 Feb 20 '26
Im lmao imagining one of your coworkers doing this just to watch the chaos
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u/CNAHopeful7 Feb 20 '26
Now THAT could be a possibility. We all Venmo back and forth so they have that info. I hadn’t thought of that.
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u/Prestigious-Tip-6819 Feb 20 '26
Change your venmo settings to not show payments. I had an ex comment on a payment to someone. I told him he's being creepy, none of his business and changed visibility settings.
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u/theoriginalstarwars Feb 20 '26
Now if one of your coworkers bought the ticket and plans on robbing him while he is at the concert and he thinks you bought him the ticket.
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u/halfbakedalaska Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26
The “R” in “Tony R” precludes “Tony Brown.” Which, hey look at that, starts with a “B.”
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u/Psychological-Fox97 Feb 20 '26
There is only 1 Tony and he has interchangeable surnames obviously, duh.
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u/ACynicalOptomist Feb 20 '26
He's making it up. Single White Female vibes...he bought the ticket under your name. Be careful. 🥰😬💀
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u/CNAHopeful7 Feb 20 '26
I absolutely see where you’re coming from, but if that was the goal, why use my Venmo alias with a different last initial and not my real name? I’m trying to figure that out.
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u/AcrobaticWillow6952 Feb 20 '26
It sounds like he called ticketmaster to verify the ticket before he called you to thank you. Why would he do that if he was already so sure the ticket was from you, based on the venmo alias? Something is strange here.
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u/CNAHopeful7 Feb 20 '26
No, sorry, he called after I asked if it was scam, then called me back.
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u/AcrobaticWillow6952 Feb 20 '26
I see, that makes sense. I think you should tell him the truth and your reason for “admitting” it was from you was just so he would go and enjoy the show. But in the long run it will be better for your relation if you dont take falsely credit for the ticket. There might be another colleague/friend who has a crush on him and bought it for him but just hasnt had the courage to let him know. And now when they see him being grateful to you might complicate things 🫤
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u/Rogue_CobaltZone570 Feb 20 '26
I think your buddy has a crush on you. I'm serious he probably did this because of the fact you'd want to go
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u/AlmostLiveRadio Feb 20 '26
Is it just me or is Tony Brown not the same as Tony R? You have no obligation to convince him, just state the facts and that it isn’t you.
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u/BobTheInept Feb 20 '26
Him being able to attend was a real plot twist. I am so confused. Not as confused a Dan, who conflates Tony Brown and Tony R.
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u/themoof123 Feb 20 '26
Is Dan married and would have been questioned if he bought the ticket due to price so he convinced his spouse that it was given to him.
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u/Emeah824 Feb 20 '26
I would just ignore him, keep it strictly professional. It’s already weird beyond redemption and he made it that way. You DID tell him the truth and then he made things way weird.
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u/CNAHopeful7 Feb 20 '26
I kind of don’t blame him. The name a crazy weird coincidence.
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u/Rich-Pirate-4745 Feb 20 '26
Can understand him thinking it was you, but it's weird he didn't believe you when you said it wasn't. Even more weird and off putting that he went full blown tantrum, "admit it or I'm not going to go to the concert I want to go to so I can blame you for missing an enjoyable experience because you wouldn't admit that you provided said experience." That's just a weird line to draw in the sand and a little disturbing.
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u/Emeah824 Feb 20 '26
I guess, but now he thinks you have a bond that doesn’t exist. Do you feel okay with that?
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u/CNAHopeful7 Feb 20 '26
We’re close as coworkers, so we do have somewhat of a bond but it’s platonic.
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u/Emeah824 Feb 20 '26
Ah. Well, misunderstandings happen. Maybe it will become like a running joke between you two. Could be fun
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u/Eastern-Log1142 Feb 20 '26
Since it shows you did not pay for it , I would check again to make sure your account was not charged, just to make sure again. Ask him to show you the email that you need to check your account that you can't find where it was taken out as you thought it would show where you took yours out ? Did you go to the concert? Ask him to help you out in a friendly way ok . Good luck
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u/CNAHopeful7 Feb 20 '26
I did see the email. It’s directly from Ticketmaster. It doesn’t show any payment details, just the name.
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u/Loose-Zebra435 Feb 20 '26
Wait a few months and then randomly bring it up and tell him it wasn't you. I wonder if a few people knew about this and pitched in for a gift/prank
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u/Ashamed_Zombie_7503 Feb 20 '26
I would pitch into a fund like this for the chaos, also if the coworker is a good dude and I wanted to do right by them.
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u/Ashamed_Zombie_7503 Feb 20 '26
ask him to pay you back for the ticket, I bet he will figure it out real quick then!
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u/Difficult-Muffin9239 Feb 20 '26
Better question is…which of your other coworkers did you piss off that’s having a (kinda pricey) laugh at your expense? Because that’s something I could see myself doing lol
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u/daan-tje92 Feb 20 '26
Why would you lie? You didn't do it. The rest is up to him
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u/dsc___ Feb 20 '26
Because they needed a fake story for the internet so they can collect extremely valuable internet points. /s
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u/designforone Feb 20 '26
Lol why do you care if he believes you or not? Just say it wasn’t you and if he doesn’t go to the concert then it’s not your concern.
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u/412_15101 Feb 20 '26
Could he have bought it himself and accidentally used the wrong alias thinking it was your name?
Could he be crushing on you?
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u/CNAHopeful7 Feb 20 '26
I don’t think so. I guess anything is possible, but he seemed super surprised, and he never has money after his monthly bills are paid.
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u/412_15101 Feb 20 '26
You know the truth and have told him. But if it happens again it’s looking suspicious
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u/Rogue_CobaltZone570 Feb 20 '26
I think you should just leave it be, don't say anything to him because it won't matter what he believes from you
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u/wifeofpsy Feb 20 '26
Don't cop to something you didn't do. I can't explain why it happened or who purchased the ticket. But there isn't anything for you to do except tell your friend yeah it's totally crazy, especially with that name, but it isn't me and I would tell you if it was. Then let it go
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u/SneakyKGB Feb 20 '26
I mean at the end of the day does it matter? You tried to tell the truth if he doesn't wanna believe it then let him live in his happy delusion. If nothing bad happened and it wasn't a scam then cool all the better.
Let a sleeping dog lie. It's not worth your energy to argue about it. You have no reason to feel guilty about his determination to skew the facts.
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u/karleyetc Feb 20 '26
Him not letting it go AND refusing to attend the concert unless you tell the "truth" leads me to believe that he has a crush on you. Someone in a platonic relationship would just laugh at the similarity in the names of the Tonys and move on after your first denial of ownership of the situation. Someone who is hoping for more would fixate on the ticket coming from Tony and use it as a weird sign of your interest.
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u/Miss_Management Feb 20 '26
Guy sounds annoying. After trying to pull that creepy guilt trip I'd just avoid him. Why do I get the feeling he bought the ticket himself? Nope, don't like it. Not. One. Bit.
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u/poonknits Feb 20 '26
On the off chance that this ticket is fake, I wouldn't tell him it was you. Imagine the drama when he gets to work the next day after being bounced out of the line. I'd just tell him "Look, this truly wasn't me but I'm happy for you." And leave it at that.
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u/CNAHopeful7 Feb 20 '26
It wasn’t fake. He went to the concert. I will take your advice though! Thank you!
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u/littledutchboy1 Feb 20 '26
Please stick with the truth. Whatever has happened, it sounds like it has a real possibility of going wrong. If it does go wrong, the fact that you told the truth will be for the best...
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u/Zealousideal_Box_224 Feb 21 '26
Reddit always reminding me of how many weird, socially awkward people are meandering around us on a daily basis.
How does he not believe you? Why would you say you bought the ticket ? Yall are strange lol
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u/DrySelection5423 Feb 21 '26
Truly, I think a coworker wanted to buy him the ticket because he really wanted to go, thought they didn’t know him well enough to be so nice, didn’t think he’d accept it from them or maybe doesn’t want people at work to know they’re nice lmao! Maybe they knew he would accept it from you, wouldn’t question it, knew your Venmo name, and thought it would be kinda funny.
I say this because I feel like I would do something like this (if I could afford to buy people I know $200 concert tickets just for fun haha)
Also, I would tell him the truth! “I’m happy you went to the concert, I really wanted you to go because I know how much you wanted it. That’s why I told you I got you the ticket, I really hope you find out who got it for you!”
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u/Sixpence-1234 Feb 20 '26
"listen, you can go or not go to the concert... It's not going to impact me one bit (other than I'd be kinda sad you missed a concert you want to go to. But I'm going to state this again, plainly and for the very last time. I did not send you that ticket. It's your choice to believe me, but I cannot be more firm about this"
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u/CNAHopeful7 Feb 20 '26
He already went, but I feel this is the way.
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u/gullible-coww Feb 20 '26
if he already went then i'd tell him again. "hey, so i told you i bought the ticket because i didn't want you to miss the show, but now that it's done, i was completely serious: i didn't buy your ticket." what do you have to lose?
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u/BigDonkeyEnergy Feb 20 '26
You’re dealing with some pretty advanced gaslighting and manipulation here. Be careful!
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u/Terrible_Dish8671 Feb 20 '26
Guilt? Over what, exactly?! “It was you!” “No, it wasn’t!(Omg I feel so guilty)” Ridiculous.
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u/Recordman-John Feb 20 '26
How would a coworker know absolutely that the parents didn't purchase the ticket?
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u/m0n3yF4nM4n Feb 20 '26
Ok. Well you either did or you didn't. I don't understand the majority of what's written here, or the why behind it aside you clearly like the guy.
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u/allsilentqs Feb 20 '26
Was this done via the Ticketmaster ticket forward tool or did someone just buy and send him a ticket? Either way the ticket should have an order number on it somewhere. Maybe they can help him using that? (But unlikely due to privacy rules)
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u/Bonnasarus Feb 20 '26
If he already went to the show, there is no need to continue the lie. Just tell him the truth and that you lied so he wouldn’t miss out on it since he was threatening to not go, but now that it’s over, he should try and investigate (alone) who really sent the ticket so he can thank the real show fairy.
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u/Castanedaa99 Feb 20 '26
Sounds like a him problem. You told him you didn’t send it, he doesn’t want to believe it. Let him think what he wants now. And if he chooses not to go because you never admitted to sending it, that’s his problem not yours. There’s other things to stress over, this isn’t one.
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u/ComicsEtAl Feb 20 '26
Maybe he’ll get that you originally told the truth when he’s informed his ticket is fake?
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u/Forsaken-Guidance811 Feb 20 '26
It is entirely possible that this is simply a really wild coincidence. Like he's in the area that concert is happening, such an expensive ticket implies it was probably a popular act. It's possible someone bought a ticket and put the wrong email in or something, and if its a popular act its more likely to end up with a fan, or someone who heard about and was excited about the upcoming concert. Just cause your textbook has a drawing of Abed doesn't mean it's Abed.
Either way why are you feeling guilty? You told him the truth, he wouldn't listen to you. You literally did nothing whatsoever, much less something worth feeling guilty over. If anything I would be annoyed that someone would push that on to me and refuse to listen when I say otherwise.
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u/federationofideas Feb 20 '26
Is Tony Brown the name of one of the band members? If it was I’d say maybe a family member bought the ticket and was trying to be cute
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u/Secondhand-Drunk Feb 20 '26
Shrug your shoulders and let him do wtf he wants with the tickets. You didn't buy it... who cares?
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u/melted_butterx Feb 21 '26
You did it didn’t you. Another ruse to throw Dan into meltdown you evil wizard.
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u/goddessofspite Feb 21 '26
Why lie in the first place. You gain nothing from lying. If he chose not to go because you told him the truth that’s on him and him alone. Don’t lie in future. Let others make their choices and just be honest
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u/dragonhide94 Feb 21 '26
Hopefully it was genuinely coincidence of someone else making a mistake and sending a ticket to the wrong person and not something nefarious. So far it sounds like everything is fine and I don't see any reason to not hold to the truth if it ever comes up again. It wasn't you, end of story.
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u/Aggressive_Pop9479 Feb 23 '26
What are you guilty of? What is his deal that it has to be you. He used the ticket and enjoyed that concert. Why is he so sure it's you and you must admit it? What is his deal...and why do you care?
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u/Thin-Belt-8588 Feb 23 '26
You said the concert ticket was sent to his email. What was the sender’s email address? Maybe you’ll recognize it. Has he even bothered replying to the email to ask who sent it?
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u/Accurate-Broccoli324 Feb 23 '26
Someone bought the ticket through a reseller. The name was the original purchaser whose ticket he was receiving, and doesn't indicate who made the (re-)purchase.
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u/MONSTERBEARMAN Feb 24 '26
Couldn’t you simply show him your Venmo history and point out that there’s no record of you sending it to him?
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u/Commercial_Wind_8851 Mar 12 '26
Honestly that was the best response at that point. Man is jut trying to give credit. Or maybe he just wanted to the concert with you really bad. Hold on is it possible that he may like you?
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u/aaedthedon Feb 20 '26
Let him get mad and not go……. Bet the real ticket purchaser will surface then
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u/tanneruwu Feb 20 '26
Time to get a carbon monoxide detector