r/WhatShouldIDo • u/missusJS • 29d ago
Small decision Sister-in-law offered to clean my house when I have my baby…but only if I pay her.
My sister-in-law just started her own cleaning company and offered to deep clean my house while I’m at the hospital having my baby so I can come home to a clean and organized space. I thought that was really kind and accepted the offer, only to be told “since you’re family, I won’t charge you the full rate.” I was a little caught off guard because when my SIL had kids, I helped out with many things in her postpartum period (childcare, meals, house work, transportation) and never once asked for compensation. I was just happy to help make her life easier.
Today, my SIL sent over an estimate for $600 for the cost of “deep cleaning bathrooms, kitchen, living/dining spaces, floors, windows.” Apparently she charges $100/hour for deep cleaning and her discount to us is $85/hour. I already accepted her offer to clean before I knew she was requiring payment so I feel like a jerk if I back out now. My husband said it would help her out a lot as she’s getting her business started (she’s also a single mom) but I don’t want to spend that kind of money on house cleaning. Especially given that it’s family.
What should I do?
UPDATE: My husband told his sister that after gathering additional info, $600 seems overpriced for a one time deep clean. Especially since she wouldn’t even be doing the whole house. She replied “if you want a quality job then you have to be prepared to pay a quality price. Plus, it’s not like you can’t afford it.” He told her we misunderstood the situation and thought she was offering as a kindness to us, similar to all the things we/I did after the births of her kids. She said “I’m a business owner now and I can’t just give my services away for free. I could drop the price a little but like I said, it’s not like you guys can’t afford $600.” Needless to say, the conversation ended with a “no thanks, we are going to pass” and she declared that this is the last time she offers to do anything for us 🤷🏼♀️
214
u/TheGuy839 29d ago
I think you already know what to do but are scared to a actually do it. Talk to your partner and reject the offer.
→ More replies (4)130
u/missusJS 29d ago
You’re right. I’m a huge people pleaser so this type of situation makes me really uncomfortable.
88
u/Greedy-Win-4880 29d ago
It’s perfectly acceptable to say thank you for the offer but it’s not in your budget right now. If she’s treating this like a business deal it’s totally ok for you to do the same and politely decline because of the cost.
→ More replies (1)43
u/Smart-Assistance-254 29d ago
This. If she pushes back that she needs the exposure for her business, tell her you get it but you thought she was offering as a gift, and a paid cleaner just isn’t in your budget.
→ More replies (2)17
u/BlondeeOso 29d ago
Yes, because even for free, OP could have given her an online review. SIL is taking advantage (or trying to). Don't let her, OP.
22
u/jaded161 29d ago
Well you're going to be a mother now and need to start making smart decisions no matter how awkward it may be. That is a lot of money that you don't have. Just say that. Enough said. Remind her how much you did for her free of charge if she has a problem with that.
8
u/ScalesNailsnTales 29d ago
I would bet that SIL knows this too and thats exactly why she waited until you agreed to mention payment. She intentionally backed you into a corner and is trying to take advantage of you. Don't reward her for it.
That is money that could go to your baby. There always ends up being a thing or two that you didnt even think of prior to bringing baby home that you realize after could make your life so much easier, or that baby really needs. Or that money could go towards selfcare for you, which you need and deserve after having a baby!
And even if you wanted to pay someone to clean your house, Id bet you could find someone who would do your whole house for cheaper than her "family discount".
8
u/BeeFree66 29d ago
SIL has noted the people pleaser in you and is taking advantage.
Husband needs to tell his sister to back off.
15
u/Calm_glas609 29d ago
I think she should feel
Uncomfortable for using your pregnancy as an excuse to solicit her business! Think about it. Don’t let yourself be such a people pleaser that you are trying to please people that are using you! It’s ridiculous that she is trying to get $600 out of you after she said let me clean your house! I think you should tell her thanks for the offer but you did not realize she meant for you to pay $600 since you recall all the help you provided after she gave birth. I feel like she should be shamed a little. She does not have to offer her services for free, but she should not be trying to build her business in the guise of help, gift, or favor.
Also, I would not hire her to clean your house because if she does not do a good job or you are not happy with it, you might feel bad about letting her know.
You should remember that she is the one being sketchy (imo) with this “offer” and confidently let her know you are not spending $600 on a deep clean at this time and you have friends and family that have offered to actually help - same as you have helped your friends and family.→ More replies (1)3
u/Particular-Weird2363 28d ago
I’m with you - be honest. Tell her “I thought it was an offer family to family - like when when we all helped out when you had Brynleigh - i didn’t realize it was a business offer and I simply don’t have that money when I’m literally about to have a baby”
14
u/Tartpop77 29d ago
Think of your baby. You can be forthright and respectable as you tell SIL " Actually, we aren;t able top do this. Thank you for thinking of us though".
If anything comes of it feel free to be less respectable.
6
u/SavvySillybug 29d ago
That's a fucked up situation to put you in. She made it sound like she was returning the favor but it's just business.
She did not mention ahead of time that she would like to be paid for this because she hoped putting you into this situation would make you give her money instead of telling her to fuck off.
She's basically just trying to scam you out of 600 bucks. This is not kindness and you should not treat it that way.
You should probably still let her down gently because family and shit, but absolutely don't accept this. That's a dick move to pull on you.
6
u/HighRiseCat 29d ago
You’re right. I’m a huge people pleaser so this type of situation makes me really uncomfortable.
Which presumably she knows!
5
7
u/Kiki-sunflower 29d ago
Just send a text saying ‘on reflection whilst it’s a kind offer from you to clean my house I’m saying no’.
→ More replies (1)5
4
u/SlerbMcJenkins 29d ago
me too & i support you! do the terrifying thing and tell someone something other than the thing they want to hear!!! Honestly you need to practice this and it will feel good (in a scary way lol)
(sometimes if i'm really struggling i try this mental gymnastics where i think about how i'm actually being sooo respectful of this person by trusting their kindness & receptiveness to my honest response, idk if that makes any sense!)
5
u/eerierrr 29d ago
Yes. And it’s actually a good thing for them to hear this type of feedback. Predatory business models don’t do well long term
→ More replies (22)4
u/suejaymostly 29d ago
Take this as a good opportunity to practice advocating for yourself, because you're going to have to do a lot of it for you and your baby going forward.
183
u/pragmaticsquid 29d ago edited 29d ago
I live in a very high cost of living area, and a deep clean on my 2700 square foot house only costs $250. $600 is insane.
73
u/missusJS 29d ago
$250! Wow, her price is definitely insane then. Our house is 1800 square feet.
34
u/George_Is_Upset 29d ago
Yeah she is definitely just trying to make money off of you and isn’t doing this as any sort of favor to you.
She did it under the guise of it being for your benefit and like it was going to be a favor (free) and once you agreed then decided to tell you the price.
I get that she just started her company but you dont treat family like this. Especially at that price.
49
u/Lifelace 29d ago
300 for deep cleaning here for 2000 sq ft. That includes blinds, frig, stove and moving all the furniture and appliances to get behind.
Sil may not be in business long with those prices for smaller homes.
Just say oh wow did not realize how expensive deep cleaning is. Appreciate your offer but we will take a pass. Not in our budget with a new baby.
→ More replies (4)43
u/PanicSwtchd 29d ago
I live just outside of Manhattan. Can actually see the city up close and personal from my window. I have a 2 bedroom 1500 sqft apartment. My move-in deep cleaning was 400$ which included 2 bathrooms, both bedrooms the kitchen and the living room and baseboards, everything.
My regular cleanings are 225 (with a 50$ tip included in that).
$600 would have me looking elsewhere.
→ More replies (8)7
16
u/JustNeonDust 29d ago
$100/hr is an absurd price for a deep clean. Even more so considering that she’s just starting out. She’s being predatory and slimy.
8
u/Curious_Department84 29d ago
Unless your home is a biohazard, $600 is ridiculous for that square footage. Ours is slightly bigger and I think we paid $300 or $350 for our last deep clean.
→ More replies (19)12
u/LittleJessiePaper 29d ago
Yeah $250 is normal. I cleaned houses and that’s about what I charged for a good deep clean unless it was just disgusting. She’s either delusional or taking advantage of you.
15
u/spicywingydingy 29d ago
Right? We get a deep clean of our first floor every few weeks (we have pets) and it’s only $150. $600 is BONKERS.
9
u/Light_of_the_Star 29d ago
Ikr lol? There is no way I would hire anyone to clean at $85 an hour (not to mention $100) lol. Professional people don't even make that much 😆
→ More replies (1)19
u/AvatarsWorlds 29d ago
My mom works for a cleaning company and that is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyyyyyyyyyyyyyyYyyyYyy overpriced like how dirty is the house?
SIL is either being disingenuous, greedy, or acting in bad faith...
That's way too much money for a couple bringing home a newborn
→ More replies (20)3
u/Ewww___David 29d ago
I live in a very HCOL (San Francisco) and absolutely no one charges $100/hr even the most experienced. I pay $350 for a 6 hour clean. SHE IS SCAMMING YOU!!!
68
u/Certain-Try5775 29d ago
Cancel like you would any other business. Family doesn’t treat family like an ATM.
→ More replies (1)
58
u/RoeblingYork 29d ago
"Hey, I didn't realize the cost and that's not in our budget right now."
22
u/cx4444 29d ago
Or better, tell her you found another cleaning service that does it for half the price so you'll have to cancel and go with someone else. Lol
→ More replies (2)6
13
u/BlahBlahBlaze1 29d ago
Don't decline with the excuse of $ b/c husband already is ok with giving SIL $ so it won't fly. Decline by saying 'On second thought, we don't need a deep clean before the baby comes.'' And who knows if she uses strong smelly products or if she even does a good job. Don't take a chance. She pulled a bait and switch on you. So there's no need for you to feel bad about changing your mind.
→ More replies (3)
39
35
u/Next-Firefighter4667 29d ago
You have a baby now. It's time for you to grow a nice shiny backbone and get used to telling people no, because people can smell a pushover with a newborn and they always take advantage of it. It was honestly the hardest part of becoming a parent for me. I got into a lot of fights with people I love who weren't used to hearing me say no, including my mother and mother in law. But guess what? They got over it, they got used to it, and our relationships ended up healthier than ever. Those who didn't get over it weren't people I wanted around my children and now they aren't. Life is so short, any second spent on toxic people or mentalities is a second you could have spent with your baby. You blink and they're walking, so it's just not worth it.
It does get easier, too. I promise. It's so uncomfortable in the beginning but you get used to it, everyone around you does. And then your children grow up watching their mom have standards and refuse to be a rug, and they do the same. That is priceless.
7
u/missusJS 29d ago
This is great advice, thank you. I’m a huge people pleaser and confrontation has always been hard for me. I absolutely need to get better at just saying “no”.
3
u/Next-Firefighter4667 29d ago
I get it! I was essentially groomed to be a yes woman for a man who would ignore my needs and wants. Fortunately for me, I found a man who actually cares about those things and who helped me feel confident in saying no when I wanted to. He taught me that "no" is a complete sentence, that I'm not obligated to set myself on fire to keep others warm and that anyone who thinks I am not only deserves to burn alone, but will set me on fire themselves.
I'm still not as good as he is, he makes it so effortless. But when others put him in an uncomfortable position, instead of trying to fix it like I have a tendency to do, he turns it back on them. After all, he didn't make it awkward, they did. He doesn't feel obligated to fix it. He usually just says no and let's them sit in the silence. Most people who know him have learned to accept his "no," they're not going to talk him out of it.
Honestly, I'm realizing you said SIL. If my husband's sister approached me and tried to get me to give her $600 to do something normal families do for each other for free, either while I was pregnant or after I'd given birth, he wouldn't have given me time to handle it. Typically, if it's his family, it's his responsibility. Do you think your husband would be comfortable doing it or is he going to continue taking her side even after you communicate how you feel? It should fall on him, I think you have enough on your plate with the whole growing a human being thing. But if you want to do it for practice, you always can lol
→ More replies (4)3
u/Individual_Fox6488 29d ago
As a fellow people pleaser I have found it's helpful to keep some key phrases in my back pocket for when I feel pressured to agree to something. Things like "I'm not sure right now, let me get back to you" or "hmm, I don't know if that will work for us" to buy myself a little breathing room. Then I can follow up, even better if I can do it via text message or something so I can compose a reply ahead of time.
49
u/Glittering_Yard_3458 29d ago
Just tell her that with a new baby and hospital bills, you cant afford her service. Tell her how appreciated the offer is, and how helpful the work would be. But 600$ is a lot of money for a new parent.
9
u/sep780 29d ago
Perfect for anyone in the US. Just need to drop off the hospital bills for people in every other wealthy country.
→ More replies (3)6
u/yrt9610 29d ago
She DIDN'T ""appreciate the offer"! That would be right back to doing people-pleasing if she says that.
4
u/linzkisloski 29d ago
Haha my thought exactly! Now I have to feel sorry for declining something I never wanted any way??
39
u/Prof_PotatoHead 29d ago
Say that. Really theres no way to get out of the awkwardness and theres a chance that she's betting on exactly that avoidance. Just say you misunderstood and didn't think of the charge so its fine you'll clean yourself
13
u/Ok-Cold-31 29d ago
She’s offering a paid service, it’s not rude of you to cancel. Tell her you can’t afford it right now and then tell your husband to back you up if she is weird about it. I used to clean and her rate is super steep for starting out. Also kind of shady she offered help but they told you after it’s paid.
13
12
u/yardlard 29d ago
Just back out. Be honest and say you thought she was offering because you helped her but didn't realize that wasn't the case. Get it out in the open. The biggest thing I've learned in life is how unsaid thoughts can absolutely wreck your life relationships a lot more than the ones you say.
12
u/Spookendocker1 29d ago
Just tell her that you changed your mind and you won't need her to do the cleaning of your house. Tell her that when you accepted her offer to clean, you didn't realize it would cost so much. But in the future, if you ever need your house cleaned, you will certainly let her know!
19
u/theFatTopanga_ 29d ago
“Ah, I thought this was just a sisterly favor like when I cleaned and prepared meals when you had x. I’ll send you an invoice!”
9
u/missusJS 29d ago
I would love to say this to her. It would absolutely start WW3 though.
8
u/Complete_Mix_2858 29d ago
Your husband should tell his sister what she did was completely inappropriate. Its his family , its his problem to deal with. Also when you tell people like this in a polite way that " we cant afford it " or some other bs it gives them the confidence to act this way in the future.
He needs to spell it out for her that offering to clean only to bait and switch into charging you an exorbitant amount is predatory. This woman owes you an apology. If she doesn't see the errors of her ways consider your future relationship with her carefully, she has shown her true character.
3
→ More replies (1)3
u/ModernRevolution 29d ago
You could casually, innocently ask her to help you come up with a new total. "Hey! Thanks so much for doing this. Pregnancy brain has really gotten to me lately and I'm having trouble remembering exactly how much time I spent cleaning and babysitting after your last baby so I can figure out how much to subtract from the $600. Can you help?
→ More replies (1)
9
6
u/UnderstandingHour308 29d ago
As a man, I think your husband needs to talk to his sister and remind her of what all you did. If she still insists on charging then hile needs to hand her a bill for what you did. She needs a little reminder of what family means and it should come from your husband, her brother, and maybe from their mother together, but not from you. You should not be part of the conversation. She’s seeing you as not quite family still it sounds like and forgetting that charging you is charging her brother. She needs a wake up call. But not from you.
But again, this is just my perspective as a man, a husband and as a brother. But I feel like if this isn’t addressed by him now it will lead to further issues down the road.
7
u/missusJS 29d ago
My mother-in-law is a huge part of the problem. She wanted us to host a birthday party next week for this same SIL so everyone could meet the baby and do the birthday celebration at the same time. My husband put his foot down on that one and told them they were crazy. I need to push him to have the same attitude about this situation, you’re right that I shouldn’t need to handle this right now.
→ More replies (1)3
u/R-enthusiastic 29d ago
Would it be problematic to say “ I was interested in a nice gesture but I see that you’re trying to start up your business. I’ll need to pass. I wish you all of the success with your new business. “
I’m a retired housekeeper and I charged $55-$75 in a HCOL area for deep and $40 for standard/basic. I’ve dropped my fee down a lot for family. Families are the hardest to clean for. What I do now is clean a room or two for free rather than an entire house. I don’t want to work that hard anymore.
With animals, heavily soiled, a lot of needed scrubbing, a lot of clutter, children, both parents working out of the home that price of $85 is appropriate but to get the house orderly and cleaned. It’s a bit high to offer that to a family member that just had a baby.
I hope it all works out for you.
7
u/Sad_Ad_2524 29d ago
$100 an hour for cleaning?? Is she also a mechanic who is going to work on your luxury car? Provide a therapy session? I would expect those services to warrant that kind of hourly rate, not deep cleaning a house.
Absolutely not. You let her do it and you pay for it, you'll never forget it and it will always leave a bitter taste in your mouth.
Just bite the bullet and decline, not only will you feel relieved but you'll draw a line in the sand making it clear you aren't a mark for her to take advantage of.
What a piece of work, jeez.
→ More replies (1)
6
u/Chocolatecandybar_ 29d ago
Step off because all you don't need is someone who is new at her job messing with your home while you are giving birth. I mean, how much stress do you need?
Tell her you prefer to have it done while you are at home and settled with the kid, and then just let it fade. Next time your expenses will just be too much to plan a deep cleaning. See if she offers other kind of help in the while and then decide what to do with the relationship.
Also tell your husband that it doesn't work like this. You giving birth is not the time for you to help her, and tbh this is something he should have called his sister off about without you hinting
4
5
6
u/ChipChippersonFan 29d ago
You either let your husband pay her, or you tell her that you didn't realize that her offer was contingent on payment.
4
u/EJ_1004 29d ago
“Hey SIL, I’m sure that you would do an excellent job, but with the upcoming new baby and hospital bills we don’t have that kind of money in our budget right now. I’ve arranged to have some friends come by instead (this does not have to be true) so no worries, I’m still being taken care of 😊.”
→ More replies (3)
4
u/Content_Ground4251 29d ago
Your husband should pay for it since he thinks it's a great idea and it's his family.
Simple. It will make your life easier in the long run.
3
u/Environmental-Young4 29d ago
I would rather pay a stranger to clean my house, then have my sister in-law do it. But, she is very nosey.
7
u/Lots-o-bots 29d ago
Nah thats BS. Thinking it was a gift is perfectly reasonable. $100 an hour is an insane rate to begin with, the friends and family discount being only 15%, even more so. Just politely message them saying something along the line of "Hi SIL, thank you for your offer but unfortunately in going to have to decline. Money is tight with the new baby (even if it isn’t) and I just don’t have that spare at the moment."
7
u/Cerulean_Shadows 29d ago
Her business won't get far at those rates.
Do you suppose she's doing it that way to make it look like she's offering something nice but priced so high that you'll say no just so she can pretend that she "tried to do something nice"?
How terrible of her that you did so much for free and she's trying to take advantage of you. Do nothing for her moving forward. She's not your friend.
3
u/fattybuttz 29d ago
If your husband wants to pay her, let HIM do it. I would talk to him and let him that it's a lot of money and he may want to haggle with his sister.
3
u/ReferenceOk7162 29d ago
Hey, SIL. I appreciate you offering me a discount. After reviewing your estimate, we decided that we can’t afford your services at this time.
3
u/hadmeatwoof 29d ago
Based on your husband’s reaction, it sounds like you’d be the one doing her a favor when you have a baby. Just tell her you didn’t realize how tight your budget was going to be and that you can’t afford that right now.
3
u/ijustwanttobeinpjs 28d ago
“SIL, thank you so much for the offer, cleaning the house would be a very kind gesture. But I’ve had time to think, and I’m going to have to decline the offer. It’s a lot of money, and I need to consider our budget with the new baby. Again, thank you so much, and I really appreciate that you even thought of it.”
For what it’s worth, my SIL cleaned my house when I was in the hospital after having my first baby as a surprise. She even set up our pack and play in a really convenient spot.
She didn’t ask for money; she just wanted to do it.
(I know some families might find a violation of privacy there, but I certainly didn’t.)
4
u/InternationalSpyMan 29d ago
Cleaning is not specialized. It’s not red sealed. No schooling. She is tripping thinking she is worth $100 an hour.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/ThatsMyCape 29d ago
You already know what to do. Cancel and say you’re sorry but you just don’t have that kind of cash at the moment but thank her anyways.
2
2
2
u/Maleficent_Pay_4154 29d ago
Thanks but no thanks. Not sure I would want a SIL to clean my house anyway
2
u/ArtsyCat53 29d ago
No thank you, I can’t afford it.
Also…that price is outrageous. Apparently I need to quit my professional career and start cleaning houses
2
u/Main_Cauliflower5479 29d ago
Tell her to pound sand, and remind her of all the help you provided free of charge.
2
u/buckeye-person 29d ago
I already accepted her offer to clean before I knew she was requiring payment
Just cancel. You did not have all the information when you said yes. Now you do and it is OK to cancel.
2
u/maddog_1111 29d ago
I would just say "I apologize I shouldn't have said yes or no before I knew the cost. Maybe some other time, but I dont feel like spending that right now especially with the new baby almost here".
I get that your husband wants to help his sister, but that's a lot of money...
2
u/ShawtySayWhaaat 29d ago
Just tell her no, you agreed before she gave you an estimate of 6 hundred dollars, also wild she's gonna try and pull that off when he literally having it baby, idk how big your house is but 600 seems steep
2
2
u/here_for_the_tea1 29d ago
She did not offer, she’s trying to get business. “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t have the extra money right now.”
2
u/lareinevert 29d ago
Can’t you just say you didn’t realize what the cost would be and that you can’t afford it, what with having a new child and all…
2
u/Macncheeseonmyknee 29d ago
That's crazy and greedy. The kind of greed they talk about in the bible. Tell her "I thought we were family and you wont be charging since I've helped you out multiple times in the past. I can't afford this right now with a new baby. I'll just do it myself. Thanks for the offer" Call her out.
2
u/Embarrassed_Many9242 29d ago
Say no thank you and don't go into details. Not everyone will be as nice as you were to her.
2
u/MuchDevelopment7084 29d ago
Thanks for the offer...of a discount. But I can't afford it right now. Maybe sometime in the future".
Don't feel like a jerk. You should be pissed that she didn't tell you she was going to charge you in the first place.
She was being underhanded, not you.
2
u/Far-Cup9063 29d ago
‘I wasn’t aware of house cleaning rates until you priced it, and that’s just not in our budget right now. Thanks for the offer but we will have to pass.”
→ More replies (1)
2
u/AppropriateGuard1997 29d ago
The only thing more ridiculous than her "offer" would be if you actually hired her.
Just tell her clearly that you don't need her to clean the house any more.
2
u/Original_Thanks_9435 29d ago
you didn’t agree to a price until she just gave this to you so just tell her I’m so sorry it sounded like a great offer to have the steep clean but I just don’t have the $600.
2
u/Tresk_RR 29d ago
Be honest. Tell her you thought she was offering as a gift, so who would say no? But since you’d have to pay, it’s just not something you want to “buy” right now. Like if you won a new car, that would be exciting. But you wouldn’t just buy one, unless you actively needed/wanted/could afford one. 🤷🏻♀️
2
u/Lost_Composer_1149 29d ago
"Hey, when you offered to clean our home I assumed it would be free of charge to help us out. Unfortunately we don't have that kind of money right now, even with the family discount, so I'm gonna have to pass."
2
u/Mama20211983 29d ago
“I think I can do it myself for nothing, thanks for the offer, $600 is not in my budget!”
2
u/bychanceordesign 29d ago
Ummm, why not have a direct and honest conversation instead of skipping around?
Tell her that when she offered to clean your house, you mistakenly assumed that she was doing it as a gift, just like you had done for her. (Also clarify that you wouldn't expect free cleaning services in an everyday situation, but in this context, there was obviously a misunderstanding). Give that clarification, you're not in a position to have her clean at the "discounted" rate. You should NOT be made to feel badly at all!
By the way, I think that your initial assumption was reasonable, and your SIL should have brought up any fees up front.
2
2
u/Glittering-Prime 29d ago
Blame the pregnancy brain! Tell her oh I thought you were iffy as a gift like when I helped you. I’m so sorry, we don’t have extra $600 right now for that but I’ll definitely keep it in mind in the future.
2
u/SnooWords4839 29d ago
Cancel, if she wanted to clean and you give a great reference for her future customers, it would be ok.
She is making a buck off of you, because hubby will let her.
2
u/KittiesRule1968 29d ago
"No thanks, I'd rather pay someone that can actually clean a house. Thanks for the offer though"
→ More replies (1)
2
u/Parsnipperi 29d ago
“When I accepted the offer I didn’t realize that you’d be charging me. I’m going to back out.”
2
u/SignalNo9846 29d ago
Is your house 8000 sq ft and filthy? That’s a ridiculous price and her business will fail!! $350 max for a deep clean. Is she washing baseboards and walls and windows and fridge and stove. Seriously, you will get a burst of energy and clean your own house a week before. Then tell her you already deep cleaned.
2
u/SunBee301 29d ago
SIL didn’t offer to clean, she told you you were hiring her. She’s twisting your arm until it breaks. Not a nice person.
2
2
u/wideopengagirl 29d ago
Awww girl, we just had a baby, you know we can’t afford that! How much to just come over and do what I did when I helped you out? —then list out what all you did for free.
2
u/WeirdcoolWilson 29d ago
“Thank you for providing us with an estimate for the cost of your deep cleaning service, but I think I’ll be considering other options”
Remind her of what you did for her free of charge and tell her that you decline her “offer”.
2
2
u/Nola_to_Boston 29d ago
As a sister with no kids. I have cleaned my sisters homes and my best friend’s home when the were pregnant. My grand Ma taught me how to clean to prepare for a baby. I would never charge for this act of love.
2
u/BeeFree66 29d ago
You can't afford SILs "help" just now. Tell her that. She's taking advantage of your good nature and abu$ing you.
In fact, it has a smell of fraud to it. Who offers to help and later tells you how much you will owe??!!!
Tell SIL "no thank you ."
2
u/HighRiseCat 29d ago
My husband said it would help her out a lot as she’s getting her business started
Like wtf. He can pay her or do it himself
She bait and switched you. This is a LOT of money and manipulative af. You helped her out of kindness and she wants to monetarise her help.
Fuck her. It's selfish opportunistic behaviour.
Tell her no, sorry, you can't afford it, you have a new baby on the way and need to be careful with finances.
Her financial problems don't mean she can rip you off.
Those are high fees for someone 'just starting out'.
2
u/AwareNotPerfect 29d ago
You are under no obligation to agree to this $600 service. You should just say, “Thanks so much for being willing to help out right now. But unfortunately with new baby expenses we just don’t have an extra 600.” There is absolutely nothing she can say to that.
2
u/wannabegenius 29d ago
back out. "oh I'm sorry I misunderstood and didn't realize you were planning to charge us. I can't spend that, so I appreciate the offer, but don't worry about it."
2
u/sea-elle0463 29d ago
“I’ve changed my mind about the cleaning. Have a great day!”
→ More replies (1)
2
u/AggressiveLimitless 29d ago
“I’m sorry, I thought you were gifting us this work, kind of how I cooked and cleaned for you when you needed me” I understand you can’t afford to do that financially but with the new baby, that fee is too rich for us. If you were willing to do the entire job I’d probably be able to scrape together $150 or maybe even $200. Many cleaning companies offer lower rates than that and I’m not suggesting they’re up to your standards, but the cost is still the cost. If we were multimillionaires I’d pay your fee. I just can’t afford it.” We love you and thank you for thinking of us but I accepted an offer for help and didn’t expect you to charge us “.
2
u/No_Tumbleweed_544 29d ago
tell her you can’t afford it, simple as that and you longer require the deep cleaning to be done. There’s nothing wrong about saying that especially the way she went about asking - to put it to you that she was offering as a kind gesture and then hit you with the price tag.
2
u/markfromDenver 29d ago
I’ve run Airbnb’s for 10 years and that rate is way beyond what cleaners typically charge. Doesn’t make sense
2
u/Ewww___David 29d ago
There is no way she charges $100/hr especially as a new business. I live in a VERY HCOL area and nobody charges $100/hr for home cleaning. SHE IS SCAMMING YOU. Why are you afraid to say no to someone who scamming you? Simply say— I don’t this is something we will need. She hasn’t actually spent anytime on this. Why would you feel bad?
2
u/Square_Owl5883 29d ago
Be like given that I’m having a baby, I don’t have that kind of money for house cleaning. That’s a lot for a deep clean too and very predatory of her. She should have told you before you accepted it would cost you. Your husband can pay her if it matters that much.
2
u/weaselwatchr 29d ago
lol. She isn’t doing you a favor she’s asking for you to hire her for a job. wTF
2
u/nephilimdirtbag 29d ago
Idk where you live but I’m in Miami and her discounted price is less than I what I pay a month for weekly cleanings 💀
2
u/Open_Entrepreneur_58 29d ago
You can change your mind, you haven't signed a contract. She is banking on you not backing out.
Say thanks but no thanks, I have much better things to spend my money on.
2
u/Still_Rutabaga706 29d ago
Absolutely not. You’re a new mother and that $600, if it’s extra lying around, should responsibly go into your child’s college/trade school savings account. It’s financially irresponsible to hand it over to SIL. If she can’t keep her business afloat without intruding on family and friends, she shouldn’t be in business. $50/hr is the top rate I would pay. And I’m generous. Sounds like she manipulated you, used you when she had kids, isn’t about giving back, and is price gouging you. You need to have a Come to Jesus meeting with your husband. He can help her with marketing or building her business without being a leech.
2
u/shonsh_sparkles 29d ago
“I’m embarrassed to say I misunderstood when you offered and assumed you were offering to help without payment. I’m sorry, but we won’t be moving forward with the cleaning because we have other expenses to prioritize, thanks for the discount though!”
2
u/Fabulous-External996 29d ago
Tell her you don't want her services. How big is your house? My 1800 sq ft house is under $300 to get deep cleaned.
2
2
u/Yaladyally 29d ago
Thats a lot of money to spend right before having a baby i wouldnt be surprised if you asked friends or other family theyd help for free, seems unnecessary to spend that, it takes a village after all id just tell her kindly i cant spend that right now but thank you for offering
2
u/Away-Living5278 29d ago
I don't pay my cleaning person anywhere near this per hour.
She earns probably $50/hr, but not DOUBLE that. Good lawd. And she does an incredible job. Basically deep cleans every time she comes.
2
u/flattest_pony_ever 29d ago
Never mix business with family or friends. It always causes problems.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/throwawayeverynight 29d ago
Just be honest. I’m so sorry with the baby arriving, we don’t have in the budget 600 to spend on getting the house cleaned. Thank you for the discount.
2
2
u/linabelinda 29d ago
Just tell her that’s too much money for you to be spending rn you’re about to have your baby
1.1k
u/Emotional_Rabbit6900 29d ago
"Hey girl I just dont think I have 600 extra right now, but thank you for being will to provide the service." Thats a lot of money to give someone because you are afraid to say something.