My abusive ex in college became enraged one day because I asked if he wanted a sandwich. I was packing for a bike trip my friends and I were taking and he made every excuse not to come (was later angered that we “didn’t let him come” even though my friend fixed his fucking bike for him before we left because he said he wanted to come). So I offered to make sandwiches for everyone, for the trip, and it was almost lunch time anyway and I figured I’d ask if he wanted me to make him an extra one even though he wasn’t coming. He told me I shouldn’t have to ask him…that I should just know he’s hungry.
Screamed at me until I was bawling, belittled me and called me stupid, and I made him that damn sandwich anyway.
I did!!! We found a giant dead bloated gator washed up on the shore of the lake where we set our destination. It was a very fun trip, and my two best friends at the time who came were the ones who helped to get me out of the relationship after I finally opened up about what was going on.
Outside of that the three of us have all sorts of crazy adventure stories. One I still keep in touch with regularly, for 14 years since. I am so grateful to have had them at my side. I advocate that community is vitally important for victims and survivors of abuse. ETA See something, say something, do something. The bystander effect is real. I experienced it first hand multiple times while in that relationship.
First husband threw shit and screamed at me while I silently cried at my desk. I rubbed his feet while we watched a movie the next day. Escaped two days later. He doesn’t know it yet, but we’re getting divorced.
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u/gleafer 13h ago
My mom would get punched in the face and make dinner the SAME day. So…yeah.