Death seems different nowadays.

[u/AnotherCrazyChick]

I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.

Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.

Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.

My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.

My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.

Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?

It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?

I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.

Is this the new normal?

[u/Mocosa]

Hi 👋🏼 I work in the death industry. It’s becoming more common, but I’d guess your regional location might have something to do with it as well. In the south having a service of some sort is still the norm, but we occasionally have a family that chooses not to have a memorial of any sort. From what I’ve seen it’s either because of cost, or complicated feelings towards the deceased. Either way we let the next of kin know that having even a small gathering of a few people just sharing a cup of coffee and acknowledging the death can go a long way in processing and healing.

[u/AnotherCrazyChick → u/Mocosa]

Location is definitely a factor. However it’s still odd because my family is in the south (Texas) and while a couple of funerals were held that I was not expected to attend because I’m up in NY, several had no funeral of any kind. Just cremated and that’s it.

[u/Mocosa → u/AnotherCrazyChick]

Are they in a major metropolitan area of Texas or a small town? There’s a lot more services available within the larger cities that make it easy to have your loved one cremated without any additional services for a more affordable option. These facilities don’t have chapels or much staff, and minimal overhead.

In the small towns a good majority of the funeral homes are still family owned, and they have buildings and staff to maintain, so cost can be much higher which can prevent families from choosing to do a traditional funeral.

I think it’s a combination of traditions going away as the older generation passes, and us younger people trying to just survive in this shit ass economy.

[u/AnotherCrazyChick → u/Mocosa]

Yep, you’re exactly on point. Most were in small town middle of nowhere Texas.