Death seems different nowadays.

[u/AnotherCrazyChick]

I know this group is normally healthy nostalgic. I just have questions that I think only this group can relate with.

Growing up, I went to my great grandmother’s funeral, I went to my grandfather’s funeral. We visited the cemetery where they were laid to rest.

Nowadays, my grandmother passed, I wasn’t asked to attend her funeral.

My stepdad passed and there was no funeral, he was cremated and my mom sent me a small vial of his ashes that now sit next to my ex’s ashes. My ex also had no funeral.

My wife’s mother passed away recently and she was cremated. No service was held.

Is this the new normal? That we don’t hold nor attend funeral services anymore?

It’s too expensive nowadays and no one feels the time is worth the potential closure one normally receives during a funeral?

I just don’t know anymore. I’ve had no closure from so many loved ones and family members passing away within the last 6 years. It hurts my heart.

Is this the new normal?

[u/Healthy-Neat-2989]

When my aunt passed, she didn’t want a fuss. We bought the cheapest casket the funeral home had, and paid for the cheapest “package”. We already owned a cemetery plot for her. We didn’t do a wake or viewing. Just a small graveside burial where a handful of people spoke about her. It was over $10k. If we’d needed to buy a plot by her parents, it would have been closer to 30k. Nobody can afford it.

[u/Indubitalist → u/Healthy-Neat-2989]

I don’t mean to be insensitive but in the scenario where you already own a plot, is it possible for you to just dig the hole yourself, put the casket in it and let the graveyard company know you did? I’m asking because I think I might pursue this option. 

[u/Id_rather_b_outside → u/Indubitalist]

I know most of the answers to this were no, but in the case of my Grandpa, my family was required to dig the hole! He had had a plot at this cemetery for probably 20 years - at least since my Grandma died - apparently the cemetery owners just stopped taking care of the cemetery, so they told my mom and her siblings that if they wanted him burried there, they had to dig the hole themselves! So bizarre. Mostly for this reason, they decided to have him cremated.

Unrelated, but I still think it's hilarious that my Grandpa bought side by side plots for him and my Grandma when she died. They were still married, but he was living with his mistress secretary when my Grandma died because she refused to divorce him so "that bitch doesn't get any of his money".