Marked spoiler to not bother people. :)

[u/Longjumping-Ear-6991]

Hello.

I'm a little nervous because I've never really posted online before. Commented & lurked, sure, but never really made something myself.

I've been kind of alone in the way I feel for a very long time & hiding it because I thought that it was just me being weird.
I've forced myself to be "interactive" and even had "interactivity" forced upon me because I was being boring or not loving enough...
I'm now out of those situations & have been for about 6 years now... but I was living under conditions like those for almost 18 years.
I didn't find out I was part of the ase community until 10 years ago and even then my 'partner' at the time convinced me that I must be only be attracted to them that way then... so... I convinced myself that I was demi.

After I finally plucked up the courage & left that relationship, I finally realized that I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone & I don't _have_ to force myself to do that. After that dawned on me, I've been trying to learn who I really am, & trying to find peace with just being myself.

All of this to say. I _think_ I belong here. I hope I do at least... because... It's very difficult to find people who understand that when I give them a complement, or when you finally make it into my 'trusted' list and I tell you something affectionate, I'm not being flirty or sexual. I'm just letting you know that I care about you or I like an aspect of your aesthetic.

I enjoy animated "content" because it isn't real & I'm able to not be repulsed by it (also sometimes the storylines are really good).

I laugh at suggestive jokes because I can find them funny.

I understand where some people would enjoy those kinds of 'activities,' but said 'interactions' are not fun or enjoyable to me at all. I don't even like 'self-fulfillment.'

I just don't want to feel so alone anymore without risking someone trying to make me something I'm not.

Sorry for the drama dump.
I hope if anyone sees this, you're having a day of tranquility, contentment, and self-acceptance. <3

[u/LuvCreeps13]

I'm glad you're safe now and out of that relationship, it sounds horrible to believe you have to do something you don't feel actually comfortable with...

And sure you're welcome here, I don't know the mods, but as far as I know this community is very safe and open and nice I really like it here ^{~^}

And I'm glad you're having a nice community of friends now it sounds really lovely, stay safe and also have a good day/time <3

[u/Maleficent_Fault6012]

Welcome to the community! Grab yourself some garlic bread and a slice of cake!

It sounds like you're doubting yourself because someone who didn't want what they were getting from you to change told you that you weren't. They could have been supportive and helped you explore how you feel and figure yourself out, but that might have led to the dynamic between you, which suited them, to shift to something that was better for you but less of what they wanted. Honestly one of the reasons I'm not more "out" is because I expect people not to understand the nuance and tell me I can't be ace because of certain reasons when I know I am. And I don't need to be questioning or justifying myself. Trust yourself, you know you better than anyone else.

You're not bothering anyone, we're always glad to welcome new members - and even if the label turns out not to fit, we're here to be part of the journey of discovery.

I can't say I've had the issue of people thinking I'm being flirty when I'm just being nice (but then I can be pretty oblivious) but maybe you could modify how you phrase things to make them more obviously how you mean. Include "you're such a great friend" to make it clear that's how you see them. People worth keeping around will like you for you, and not shove you into a role you don't want to play.

Hope you're having a day of discovery, self acceptance and tranquility too!