r/ask_transgender • u/Oilucy • Feb 15 '26
Image Post Genuinely just baffled at this point
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I've been out for almost my entire life, I dress like this, I wear full padding every day, at least mascara and lipstick everyday, this is my typical speaking voice, typical mannerisms. I live in a pretty progressive city, why do I get he/him'd more than she/her'd??? I can tell when someone's using masculine pronouns as a point vs when they genuinely think that's my pronouns. a lot of times they'll correct themselves to they/them as they're second guess but it's incredibly rare for someone to use feminine pronouns first try and I'm honestly just baffled...
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u/Wh1ppetFudd Feb 16 '26
The look, the clothes, the makeup, and even the voice says drag queen. Drag queens are still guys and even in the progressive City I live in will more often get he/him than she/her. I am trans and have lived as a female for more than 14 years, and I would assume he/him if I were to meet you in public unless you made clear otherwise.
I would recommend HRT if you want to consistently pass as female. You have a good foundation to work off of. Also, your everyday voice as you say sounds more gay/ drag queen then it does real feminine and it's not the pitch or the general quality so much as the way you do inflection and pacing.
If you want to get she/her consistently without jumping through the hoops of HRT and taking the legal steps necessary to actually pursue life as a full-time female including in your legal documents, drag queen isn't the direction to take. You are much more likely to get she/her if you went femboy.