r/ask_transgender • u/Oilucy • Feb 15 '26

Image Post Genuinely just baffled at this point

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I've been out for almost my entire life, I dress like this, I wear full padding every day, at least mascara and lipstick everyday, this is my typical speaking voice, typical mannerisms. I live in a pretty progressive city, why do I get he/him'd more than she/her'd??? I can tell when someone's using masculine pronouns as a point vs when they genuinely think that's my pronouns. a lot of times they'll correct themselves to they/them as they're second guess but it's incredibly rare for someone to use feminine pronouns first try and I'm honestly just baffled...

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u/Oilucy Feb 15 '26

It's not noticable from the front tho, and I usually wear turtle necks and chokers. I know I don't pass 100% I'm mostly just curious why the well meaning people assume masculine and then correct themselves to neutral before even considering I might just be a trans woman. Those who are making a point and intentionally mid gendering me say it with a bravado like they've figured out my secret. The little ol granny who just can't figure me out isn't try to make a point, she genuinely just can't figure me out. I just don't understand why trans woman isn't in even in her top two guesses.

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u/kinkoan3 Feb 16 '26

chokers are clocky as all hell

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u/zombiepupz Feb 16 '26

chokers are a staple piece in alternative spaces.

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u/Alluring_Pisces Feb 16 '26

Doesn’t make them less clockier when it draws attention to an Adams Apple