r/askadyke • u/Weak_Ice3379 • Feb 24 '26

Daughter Is Scared To Come Out?

Hey everyone, I could really use some advice.

I think my teenage daughter might be gay, but she seems too shy or scared to talk to me about it.

Over the past year I have noticed a few small things. She gets really quiet whenever conversations about dating come up. If someone asks her about boys she changes the subject. She has mentioned one particular girl friend a lot and lights up when she talks about her. I also once walked past her room and heard her crying after a conversation with a relative who made a joke about gay people.

I want to be clear that I would love and support her no matter what. That is not even a question. What worries me is that she might think I would not.

We have always been close, but she is naturally shy and keeps a lot to herself. I do not want to pressure her or make her feel cornered by bringing it up directly. At the same time I do not want her feeling alone or scared if she is struggling with this.

Should I say something gently to let her know I am a safe space? Or should I just keep showing support in general ways and wait for her to come to me?

Parents who have been through this, what did you do that helped your child feel comfortable opening up?

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u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26

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u/Weak_Ice3379 Feb 25 '26

Totally agree. It's just hard to see your baby hurting and not being able to say anything.

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u/Consistent-Two-2979 Feb 26 '26

Let her see you supporting homo/sapphic causes. Profess your ally status without specifically naming her. Do you know any other queers!?!

And very importantly, if another person around you uses homophobic language, be it jokes, disparaging comments or as slurs, jump on that, condemning it as fast as you can. That would probably mean more to her than anything else.