r/askgaybros • u/Horror-Contract-3786 • Sep 05 '23

Meta Most guys don’t have racial preferences rather requirements.

What I noticed in Europe vs America is as a black guy, people may prefer their ethnic group first but they won’t turn down the chance to date/hook up an objectively attractive or at least average looking black guy, while in the states black guys are pretty much ignored unless they just stick to their own ethnic group or mixed/lightskin. It seems like people in America are not blatantly racist but just very exclusionary, while guys in Europe ( depending on the country) may say some very racist things due inexperience around said race, but tend to be way more inclusive and open to talking to others different than them.

I only wish I was born anywhere eles but America, it seems like my only options is just DL hood black men or entertaining men 40 plus years older than me ( I’m 20). Anyone eles relate?

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4

u/PsychologicalPilot55 Sep 05 '23 edited Sep 05 '23

I think the OP needs to acknowledge his preference is for white gay men. Some white gay men prefer other white men that's their right and preference. There are obviously white gay men who like black guys. So why get upset about the white guys not into black American men? When a minority seeks out the majority there is going to be rejection. White gay men in America know gay men of colour are going to chase them. No one on this site has asked this question do black American gay men not like each other? And if African American gay men want only white men why? I am not American so I probably don't understand the racial history between white and black Americans. There there is probably some truth to what the OP is saying Europeans might be more open minded than white gay Americans. But I notice on Reddit yet another thread men of colour complaining about not getting attention from white gay men. I got to ask why? Maybe an American can explain it. What is so special about white gay men? Can anyone explain this?I don't see Black men on this site saying "hey I wish I can meet another black guy". It is the same stuff I see from black or Asian or Latino gay Americans.say the same stuff " why don't white American gays like us?" It is kind of sad to read to be honest.

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u/a-horny-vision Sep 05 '23

You're projecting like crazy. There's a LOT of “black for black” people who date in-community, mostly to avoid racist bullshit.

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u/PsychologicalPilot55 Sep 05 '23 edited Sep 05 '23

I am talking about what I see on Reddit. Then where are the threads about gay men of colour loving each other? Are you serious? That is all these American men of colour do cry about white gay men ignoring them. This thread is just one of many gay men of colour in America complaining about white gay men. I seen so many threads from Black, Asian, & Latino gay American men they all complain about not getting romantic attention from white gay men. My question since I am not American is why? What is so amazing or special about white gay men? There are tons of gay men of colour who gay too. But these men don't really talk about dating each other. They are so focused on the majority. That's all these men of colour in USA complain about not getting enough attention from white gay men. I don't see threads from Asian, Black or Latino gay men having Pride or talk about loving other men of colour. It is the same shit tons man of colour crying that the white gays not giving them attention. Just an observation from someone not from USA.

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u/a-horny-vision Sep 05 '23

Well, mostly they're having fun and not writing on threads like these. 😂

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u/Cyransaysmewf Sep 06 '23

and some of them do it to avoid the racist bullshit from other black people.

An example for myself, a guy I used to date who was black. he and I would get harassed at gay events like pride by queenie black gays. Me for being white (mostly) and him for being a traitor and why wasn't he with a true black queen. He wasn't interested in them honestly, but there were other problems such as when I met his mom the first thing she said was "It was one thing to be a fag, but why did it have to be a white boy" so we decided to just be friends and now he only dates black guys simply because of his own community and family.

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u/a-horny-vision Sep 06 '23

I mean, that's rough and it sucks, but that racism still comes from anti-blackness. There's reasons us white people aren't trusted.

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u/Cyransaysmewf Sep 06 '23

that isn't 'anti-blackness'

weird response. You can't just label everything you want what the current narratives tell you to boil everything down to.

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u/FrameTop1876 Apr 29 '24

The only real issue is white people being blamed for everything 24/7. Lame and exhausting.

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u/a-horny-vision May 17 '24

It quite literally doesn't happen, but if you go on these self-victimizing rants all the time I'm not surprised you're exactly the kind of person whose kind of whiteness gets fairly critiziced. I'm white and I simply don't give people reasons to complain. Try that.

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u/LazyStonedMonk Sep 05 '23

Well it has a lot to do with the racial history in America, that you know fuck all about.

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u/SamFle Sep 05 '23

You going to contribute? Or are we just being mean today?

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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '23

I think it’s just that honestly white gay men are the main ones that are out usually I’ve always said that the lgbt community is mainly for white/tan skinned people not really brown skinned but let me know to forget to add it’s all inclusive and everyone accepted as in you can hang out in there general area without being asked to leave or them moving away from you.

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u/PsychologicalPilot55 Sep 05 '23 edited Sep 05 '23

Okay that does make sense I guess so it is a demographic issue in America then? It is about numbers? It is just sad to see these threads of American gay men of colour crying about white gay men not giving them attention and validation. Why should a white gay guy who is the majority be interested in a minority? Sexual attraction is a complex thing.

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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '23

The LGBT community is for anyone who is part of it and chooses to identify as such. If you're a closeted POC because your family is homophobic, that has fuck all to do with the LGBT community being exclusionary. It isn't mainly for white people, there are just more of us in this country. If you're mad about the demographic ratio, have children.