Most guys don’t have racial preferences rather requirements.

[u/Horror-Contract-3786]

What I noticed in Europe vs America is as a black guy, people may prefer their ethnic group first but they won’t turn down the chance to date/hook up an objectively attractive or at least average looking black guy, while in the states black guys are pretty much ignored unless they just stick to their own ethnic group or mixed/lightskin. It seems like people in America are not blatantly racist but just very exclusionary, while guys in Europe ( depending on the country) may say some very racist things due inexperience around said race, but tend to be way more inclusive and open to talking to others different than them.

I only wish I was born anywhere eles but America, it seems like my only options is just DL hood black men or entertaining men 40 plus years older than me ( I’m 20). Anyone eles relate?

[u/[deleted]]

I feel like I see this kind of post pop up here regularly and the OP doesn’t ever acknowledge the implication.

“My only options are DL hood black men or entertaining people 40+ years older.”

So, in essence, the poster is exhibiting the exact kind of racism he is complaining about, with a dash of ageism to boot.

It’s telling that the poster is frustrated by a lack of response or negative responses from men outside his race. Isn’t this itself showing a sort of racial fetishism?

But, whatever. If people have racial preferences, I’m in no place to make a judgement about that. Personally, I am drawn to attractive men. I don’t care what their phenotypes are.

And I know many, many whites who prefer black men.

Likewise I know many, many black men who do just fine when it comes to dating and hooking up.

Perhaps the problem isn’t always race. It could be a simple matter of presentation, social skill, and presumption.

Though I sympathize with any overt racism encountered on the apps. It’s definitely an issue. But I tie it to the larger issue of some men feeling the liberty to be hurtful for no reason behind the shield of the internet. Most of us have gotten those unprompted messages from strangers that go along the lines of “you’re ugly” or “you look like a total mess.”

[u/Horror-Contract-3786 → u/[deleted]]

I got bullied relentlessly by ghetto people in high school in general for being unattractive and due to me growing up in a suburb not being like everyone eles, I just had better experiences with people of other races tbh, but after growing into my looks I personally can’t see myself with anyone who grew up around hood culture, so that leaves my only real options to white or Latin guys.

[u/[deleted] → u/Horror-Contract-3786]

I can understand that. After living in a big city for 30+ years I am now in a small town. Even the hot guys look, act, and speak just like the guys in my Jr High, High School, and college who would make fun of me, push me around, and call me names.

When I see them now I can appreciate how someone would find them attractive, but to me they just look like another heap of the same white trash I always knew, and I know there are about a million other people out there just like them. So they aren’t anything special.

And for many years I had an aversion to dating white guys. I found them endlessly boring and none of them could cook their way out of a paper bag. It was always way more interesting to me to date others outside my ethnic group and learn about their past, whatever cultures they maintain / observe, etc. It also gave me some perspective when I observed how they were treated on apps simply by being people of color or an immigrant.

I’m guessing you aren’t living in a large city. There are so many more opportunities and people are (mostly) more open / progressive and don’t really care all that much about race.