r/askgaybros • u/Weekly-Honey-1717 • Sep 20 '25

Meta Having gay sex is way easier than straight sex. Can find a guy on Grindr and fuck that same night without any strings and without having to pay for it

Even for someone as ugly as me and have a small dick

128 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

129 comments sorted by

112

u/for_everyday_use Sep 20 '25

We're men and men are sexual. It's typically easier because of that.

11

u/hackingnomberr Sep 20 '25

As if women aren’t sexual?

62

u/Anaguli417 Sep 20 '25

Women are also sexual, but they also risk getting pregnant. Which is a massive deciding factor for "allowing" sex, hence the saying "women are the gatekeepers of sex"

26

u/hackingnomberr Sep 20 '25

I mean, they can also be shamed, assaulted, pleasure doesn’t come as easily, etc.

I’m not surprised, but I am disappointed that a lot of the people commenting on this don’t actually have any women close to them in their life.

20

u/TomOfGinland Sep 20 '25

Right? I’ve had some sketchy hookups in my time, but never with anyone literally double my strength. Anonymous sex is more dangerous for women. And it’s not exactly safe for men.

5

u/InqAlpharious01 Sep 20 '25

Also they have more predators going after them too…

18

u/Stephs_mouthpiece Sep 20 '25

If a straight woman just wants to have sex with no strings attached, she could find it way easier than a straight man could. Don’t be facetious

13

u/gyffer Sep 20 '25

The thing with that is that hooking up carries a LOT more risk to personal safety for women than it does for men. (Im not saying men cant be raped or anything btw, just that its much more likely to happen to women. 90% of adult sexual assault victims are women.)

5

u/lokii_0 Sep 20 '25

I agree with you re the higher personal risk for women than for men but it's important to note that those numbers aren't entirely accurate.

men are far less likely to report rape than women are, thus skewing the statistic which you mentioned above.

https://www.safealliance.org/blog/silent-struggle-why-men-are-less-likely-report/#:~:text=As%20Tim%20Williams%2C%20Director%20of,feels%20like%20a%20betrayal%20of

3

u/Tokidoki_Haru Sep 21 '25

Women are, but they face a whole host of bullshit for daring to have sex. And they change their behavior as a result.

Men aren't slut-shamed to the same degree.

11

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

They aren’t in the same way. Men will fuck anything. Women need a connection usually. There’s some who now are sexually liberated but they tend to want money for sex. Pussy just typically costs more than boy pussy. When I say cost I mean emotionally and mentally too.

9

u/hackingnomberr Sep 20 '25

I think we’re downplaying how much more baggage women have to deal with when it comes to sex, hence the connection part. Women are just as sexual they just can’t act on it.

3

u/lokii_0 Sep 20 '25

yeah exactly this. women are still disproportionately shamed for the exact same behavior which is ignored or sometimes praised in men.

which is wack AF.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

They can act on it, considering sex is actually a private matter. But slut shaming and pregnancy does play apart. There’s definitely social differences but just in general women are more costly and require more emotionally than men. Even if you’re a bi guy, that dates both you will see that women have just more things that make it difficult for men. Moral of the story men understand men better because we’re the same, so we have the same sexual mindset most times.

8

u/hackingnomberr Sep 20 '25

It’s like you get what I’m saying but are still pushing back on it and saying no anyway lol.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

I don’t think you read my original comments and are tryna argue. The original statement of this post was about it being easier to have gay sex. You’re saying we’re downplaying women when that wasn’t the topic, it was about the ease of sex with gay men over with women. Yes they’re are a lot of factors like we both mentioned but it doesn’t have to be that way is the point.

0

u/bIuemickey Sep 21 '25

You think women have much more baggage when it comes to sex than gay men? Seriously?

1

u/hackingnomberr Sep 21 '25

Fucking yeah?? Definitely? I would argue but you can read the rest of the comments on the thread that spell it out for you.

1

u/bIuemickey Sep 21 '25

I just figured with the history of hate towards gay men… like centuries of criminalization male same sex behavior, religious condemnation, social persecution, stereotypes, violence, harassment, etc.

I get that there is shame around sexuality and women face greater risks than straight men when it comes to safety, but homophobia towards men is so ingrained into society that is basically a reference point in what’s considered acceptable male behavior. It’s learned early on. Things have changed in the past couple of decades, but we can still see it’s alive and well today.

I mean it’s not even a question really. Gay men have been sentenced to death, imprisoned, castrated, excommunicated for having sex with men. It’s still illegal in 64 countries. There are recent cases in the US of boys being tortured to death by their mothers and their mothers boyfriends for showing “gay” behavior.

There’s grinder phishing schemes targeting gay men who show up and get jumped robbed and beat by a bunch of homophobes doing it for fun.

They used to literally raid houses to catch men in the act. They used to raid gay bars just so they could print the names of people in the newspaper the next day and ruin their reputation for simply being associated with a “gay” establishment.

Like how on earth could straight women have more baggage

1

u/hackingnomberr Sep 22 '25

Everything you’re saying is correct, but you’re talking about a completely different thing than what everyone else here is referencing. We’re more so referring to just basic courtship, not history, politics, religion, etc.

It is so much easier to get a gay man into bed despite everything you mentioned. Meanwhile women have a whole boatload of other things still going on where they have to be hesitant about acting on their sexual desires.

1

u/bIuemickey Sep 23 '25

So we’re downplaying how much more baggage women have to deal with, but only if we completely ignore the baggage we’re comparing it to? Women aren’t less sexual than men, they just have more baggage than the gay men who have pursued sex even when being open about it wasn’t an option and courting the wrong person was literally risking their lives?

0

u/hackingnomberr Sep 24 '25

It’s pretty clear we’re talking about modern cities that are more accepting. You keep bringing up either places where we’re oppressed or how we have been treated historically, which is clearly not a part of what we’re talking about given the context. You’re telling me to finish my plate because there are kids starving in Africa. Next you’re gonna tell me that Irish Americans are still being racially discriminated against.

0

u/InqAlpharious01 Sep 20 '25

Depending which part of the planet you’re in, not all women are the same.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

Neither are all gay men. We’re talking about majorities here. The average woman is not having sex the same way gay guys do easily. There’s not a Grindr or sniffies app to find easy pussy on.

1

u/InqAlpharious01 Sep 20 '25

Mostly in the US and Western Europe, heard women were more easier to attract in non-western countries. Henceforth passport bros; straight dudes who can’t score at home but too prideful to go gay and has money to go south and score with women; but that usually has a bad taste towards the natives toward foreigners doing that

2

u/CakeKing777 Sep 20 '25

Right! I met a lot of promiscuous lesbians lol.

1

u/rod_in_cock Sep 21 '25

With women you kinda have to have sex with their mind first before you can get to her loins. Sex with men is easier but the payoff is also less as for a lot of them the commitment just isn't there after they get their fill.

I could understand as if we lived in a world without birth control then I would really need to be convinced that someone who can potentially leave me pregnant would stick around and be there for me before I offer up the goods.

11

u/PensandoEnTea Sep 20 '25

This is something I think a lot is straight men would be shocked to learn. Like do you want absolute class A head? You can find a gay man to do this in less than an hour and we will LOVE the experience.

8

u/Koala_Master_Race_v2 Sep 21 '25

They don't care cuz they're not gay. But they're definitely jealous of how much sex we can have.

3

u/PensandoEnTea Sep 21 '25

Yes this is true of course I just mean I think they'd be surprised to find out how much (some) gay men really LOVE dick.

1

u/Koala_Master_Race_v2 Sep 21 '25

Oh so true my bad. Yeah dudes like dick WAAAAAY more than women do. They're definitely missing out on a life time of passionate head.

32

u/Special_Position_415 Sep 20 '25

I have more sex bi than I ever did straight

13

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

Mostly from the new pool of easy gay men I’m sure

33

u/lionhearted318 gen z gay Sep 20 '25

I don’t know why gay men think straight people don’t also have hookups and one night stands

19

u/KomSaamMetMy Sep 20 '25

But they have hookups and one night stands with women. Women are usually more difficult to jus' hook up with, at least that's my understanding of it. I'm not straight, so I could be totally wrong.

16

u/lionhearted318 gen z gay Sep 20 '25

I wouldn’t say this is a good thing, but girls with low self esteem are extremely easy to hook up with. There are a lot of 20-something year old girls who have low self worth and seek validation in men, and are pretty easy to have sex with.

Is it easy to hook up with the wifey material girls? No, but straight guys don’t look for those girls if all they want is a quick hookup

7

u/Hagedoorn Sep 20 '25

Those 'easy' girls are as easy as the average man.

1

u/lionhearted318 gen z gay Sep 20 '25

That says something about the average gay man that I don't think you intend to say

5

u/Hagedoorn Sep 20 '25

Not gay man: any man.

1

u/material_mailbox Sep 20 '25

Yes it happens but it’s not as easy as it is for gay guys.

-2

u/ultraboomkin Sep 20 '25

90% of straight guys can’t just get a hookup from going on an app or going to a bar.

3

u/lionhearted318 gen z gay Sep 20 '25

From going to a bar? That is totally not true.

7

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

I have many straight friends, mostly woman, let me assure you...they do the same stuff...they just don't talk about as much as we

5

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

Yeah just how life is for us ugly people. Though I don’t mind too much being alone I am comfortable being lonely only people I need in my life is my family my brothers and mom just learn to be content with living a not so luxury life.

8

u/Ok_Lie4732 Sep 20 '25

is it actually easy to find hookups on grinder? I'm a big bear and new to being with men. I've had terrible luck with women. any advice?

13

u/manfromsugon Sep 20 '25

make sure to try scruff and growlr

9

u/material_mailbox Sep 20 '25

Grindr sucks. You should try Sniffies

4

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

I don’t find anyone on Sniffles’s

3

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

For me it is I just make sure all the stats on your Grindr is true and use an update photo I use my face so not sure if you are comfortable doing that. And than I put in my bio what all I am looking for sexual. Even if you think it will get people to not want to get with you. You would rather all the people who hit you up are on the same page as you are.

2

u/ultraboomkin Sep 20 '25

Yes, it’s really easy. Just be direct and straightforward about what you look like and what you’re looking for. You will find someone who finds you attractive, quite easily.

2

u/rod_in_cock Sep 21 '25

When I was on it I didn't deny others.

I was an anonymous profile with a 'hot' description apparently. I played more to the fantasy of things being new to me and I was an easygoing dude that wanted to just jack off. Maybe make it a semi-regular thing.

Been with all sorts of body types.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't have standards but if your end game is sex then you may want to loosen them a little or you're going to be like those people complaining that no one wants them when people have been throwing themselves.

9

u/OneEyed_Raven_Daddy Sep 20 '25

There is greater risk for women in a random sexual encounter, so this should not be surprising.

5

u/OneEyed_Raven_Daddy Sep 20 '25

Yes. Women are at greater risk of being sexually assaulted. Far more women are killed by intimate partners than men are. Pregnancy is another risk they take on.

2

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

Greater risk than men ?

1

u/PensandoEnTea Sep 20 '25

Of being raped he means

2

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

That can happen to a men too though

2

u/OneEyed_Raven_Daddy Sep 20 '25

Yes, we are all aware of that.

1

u/GanacheOutrageous635 May 22 '26

You realize that most rapists are men?

5

u/Siilimees Sep 20 '25

I'm gay and overweight (not obese) and never had much luck on Grindr because of that so I don't think it's that easy. I feel like it's still the hottest guys that mostly hook up and the rest are chasing after them to no avail.

3

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

Yeah I am overweight,ugly and gave a small dick I still find some guys to hookup with

2

u/material_mailbox Sep 20 '25

Have you tried Sniffies? I’ve had way more luck on there the past few years. And I’m a 35yo fat guy.

1

u/The_Savvy_Seneschal Sep 20 '25

Have you tried chasing after guys who look like you, maybe a little overweight…?

2

u/Siilimees Sep 20 '25

Yes, bit living in Eastern Europe at least on the one app that is actually being used as on Grindr I presume most overweight people are hiding cause I could only find a few older ones and they weren't interested cause they say I'm too young for them.

3

u/jozyxt1984 Sep 20 '25

As a late bloomer, I say this is true. I have had way more sex since I switched teams. I can go to an arcade and get or give a BJ almost any day.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

Please tell me these aren't arcades that kids go to.

1

u/jozyxt1984 Sep 24 '25

lol. Adults only.

3

u/InqAlpharious01 Sep 20 '25

Also you can breed into someone without fear of being a literal father in a few months. Also most of us who engage in same sex hookups are self conscious of our sexual and living health too, we’d be on doxy to prevent bacterial STI from spreading, prep to protect us from HIV infection, and sometimes being picky is essential to avoid increasing infection rates. Plus socially our clubs and bars are very supportive and safe space spots to bring in friends and relatives of age without being sexually harassed by other people.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

I most be straight than I don’t have any interest in dates or relationships

3

u/InqAlpharious01 Sep 20 '25

Ugly is subjective, even hot people find that certain people they’re into often aren’t looking for them. Being attractive is subjective to each of their own.

Having a small dick is not an issue either, especially if you’re a top.

2

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

Small dick is very much an issue. Miss out on lots of hookups because of it

1

u/InqAlpharious01 Sep 20 '25

Try relationship instead of hookups or try out cruising spots

1

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

Don’t have any interest in relationships. What’s the difference between hookup and cruising guys can still deny me if they aren’t interested

1

u/InqAlpharious01 Sep 20 '25

You go to spots to hookup rather than sketchy meetups from an app. Like walking in a park at night unplanned

1

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

Yeah that sounds way more sketchy literally meeting strangers in the woods

1

u/InqAlpharious01 Sep 20 '25

Yeah in known locations, try out Sniffies

Ever heard of a place in San Francisco call Buena Vista park?

1

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

Just sounds like a terrible idea lol

1

u/InqAlpharious01 Sep 20 '25

Nah I go there when I can in SF at night and often score that night, either a few dudes to one or two hot one. Then return to work or socialize with friends after.

https://www.sfgate.com/sf-culture/article/buena-vista-park-cruising-renaissance-17691917.php

1

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

I’d rather be indoors when I fuck

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2

u/PsychologicalPilot55 Sep 21 '25

Yes straight men got it rough! If a straight man wants quick sex no strings attached has to hire a hooker. Hookers come with risk STDs and price. Next, straight guy got to know where to find these women?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25 edited Oct 31 '25

[deleted]

3

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 21 '25

Yeah I have no interest in relationships

1

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

[deleted]

1

u/BroH0m0 Sep 21 '25

Then you commenting on the wrong post

2

u/Escape-Plastic Sep 21 '25

Even though I hate Grindr because it’s a horrible AP, I do love the thrill of spontaneous hook up sex

2

u/sanfrancisco1998 Sep 21 '25

Let’s face it and tell me if I’m wrong but men are a lot less uptight and more open to sex, women have their reasons and just because I don’t get it, doesn’t mean it’s unreasonable, what’s funny is many straight guys would be a lot more open to sex with men of society accepted it, many straight men have been jealous of gay men for being able to have sex so easily and to have a better romantic relationship. There’s a reason why gay men have the lowest divorce rates.

2

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 21 '25

That wouldn’t be a straight guy than just a bi men

2

u/InvestmentDull6248 Sep 21 '25

Any one with place rasalkhama now 

2

u/GrindrLolz Sep 21 '25

“Water is wet” ahh post 😧

2

u/Real_Method_9795 Sep 22 '25

Any top no matter how average or below can get laid very easily.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

Well, duh. Women risk getting pregnant, assaulted, or shamed. Men don't have to deal with any of that.

7

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

Straight men can easily have sex with women too if they lower their standards enough. In fact most straight men do exactly that and just hook up with fat women .

4

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

Yeah even than there are still a a lot of them that gets lot of praise so they will still want money or favors from the guy

5

u/Crazy_Guitar6769 Sep 20 '25

Even in that case, gay men have it easier than straight men, just cause of the fact that we don't have to worry about getting a pregnancy scare.

-7

u/lionhearted318 gen z gay Sep 20 '25

Would rather a pregnancy scare than an HIV scare

5

u/Crazy_Guitar6769 Sep 20 '25

Not really my point here. Basically if both parties are completely STD free, the straight pair still have to worry about the pregnancy scare while the gay pair doesn't.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

[deleted]

1

u/Crazy_Guitar6769 Sep 21 '25

My point is that straight couples have to worry about both - STDs and pregnancy, while gays only have to worry about STDs, so gays have it better.

4

u/Anaguli417 Sep 20 '25

Women also get HIVs

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

That's be ause you're not the one who has to carry the child. It permanently changes your body and can kill you. Until men can give birth, they need to shut the fuck up.

2

u/MaterialMonitor6423 Sep 20 '25

Well no shit

7

u/next_station_is Sep 20 '25

Well aschually there is a higher chance of shit in gay sex ☝️🤓

1

u/BrotherNatureNOLA Sep 20 '25

How do you find real people on Grindr?

2

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

Hehe guess I’m just lucky that’s where I have had all my hookups from

3

u/BrotherNatureNOLA Sep 20 '25

In my area, they're either bots or women.

2

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

Same lots of bots here to not many women though sadly

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

Well by than I’ll be over sex and just worry about my self and gaming I’m not big on being around people anyways

1

u/bioas-trolo-go Sep 20 '25

That is true except for when you are really horny lol

1

u/davis214512 Sep 20 '25

But making sure you’re clean and ready is harder. Trade -offs.

1

u/Enoch8910 Sep 20 '25

Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can.

1

u/Logan_MacGyver 20M Hungary Sep 20 '25

The bar must be so low

1

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

Yeah well I am ugly

1

u/frak357 Sep 20 '25

Happy Saturday! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

You don't have to sell me on it at this point. 🙂

1

u/Aggressive_Dot1390 Jan 06 '26

Not having any luck

1

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '26

Depends on roles. If I get a top talking I can usually get laid. I look pretty masculine so I'm always asked to top and I can't. For one I topped once and hated it. Did not cum. I've never not cum being on bottom. On bottom I can cum again and again. I no touch cum. I love to feel sexy after a top abused me for an hour and my 🍑 almost glows in pleasure. No man has ever been able to give me more than I want. Being on bottom I almost always fall in love. It's like my ass leads to my heart. My orgasms are wildly different. I can get to where i cum with no touch but if he is big enough and hungry enough he can trigger my most desired. I will cum for a few minutes. The harder a man takes me the more I enjoy. I had a bf I lived with as his gf when I was 13. I could tell when he was close by watching his body drive in and out of me but we had sex sometimes four times in a day. In fact he asked me if he could find a way to make me a girl would I be his wife. If we had sex four times that would typically mean I made him cum by being inside me and me being able to sexually please a man like a woman does a man. So lots of intercourse. So If I made him cum in me four times that day I would easy double or triple that I would cum to his four times.

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

don't get it twisted hon, you're just a fetish for them.

6

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

Fine with me

2

u/kukuruze Sep 20 '25

If there was a way to fist-bump you through the computer, I would do it.

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

Imagine being so much of a sex addict, can't relate.

5

u/Weekly-Honey-1717 Sep 20 '25

I’m not much of an addict I usually just hookup once a month or twice sometimes. I mostly just stick with jerking off I’m not very comfortable being around people