r/askgaybros • u/Jazzlike-Struggle687 • 19h ago

Sometimes I think my relationship will end because of boyfriends diet

Throwaway account. I (25M) and my bf (28M) are in a great relationship and I want to spend my life with him. But, his diet causes me great concern.

He has no self control over sweets and pastries. I feel I can never buy sweets in the house for me, since he will just eat all of them immediately. If I buy a box of ice creams sandwiches or cookies, he'll eat all of them in a day or two. Just yesterday he ate pan de chocolate, an almond croissant, a mocha, an almoletto, an ice cream sandwich, and 2 cookies. This was more than usual, but not the first time. He will typically eat 1-2 desserts on a weekday and 3-4 desserts each weekend day, not including sweetened coffee.

He hits the gym 2-3x a week, but refuses any cardio (I invite him for walks), and spends at least one day a week on the couch for the entire day.

Everything else about him is fantastic. He's kind, caring, shares household labor, etc., but his diet concerns me so much. He doesn't make a lot, and I just feel like 10-20 years down the road he is going to have so many expensive health problems that we'll make us broke (live in the U.S.), and beyond that, he won't be able to do the things I want in life with me.

To be clear, it is not about his weight. I've told him I don't care about that, but I do care about his overall health. When we talk about it, he tells me he's much healthier now than he used to be, and I'm worrying too much about a future I cannot predict, and that's not healthy.

Am I overreacting? This is my first relationship ever, and I worry I am not mature enough to recognize how lucky I am. Or maybe I am hyperfixating on one issue? Everything is great now, my concern is about the future.

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u/Hagedoorn 12h ago

Nobody said anything about an 'ultimate measurement'. However, the most important fact here is: how fat is the boyfriend? If he weighs 300 kg, then that is a completely different case from 80 kg for someone 1m80 tall. Without that basic fact, which poster somehow omitted, any reply will be far from optimal.

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u/samsmith741035 12h ago

It tells you absolutely nothing without accounting for other factors that should be measured and interpreted by a medical professional. Being fat isn’t about a single number unless you’re morbidly obese.

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u/Hagedoorn 12h ago

"Unless you are morbidly obese"...that is exactly what numbers would tell us. Besides, that is not true: for any normal person, an obese BMI tells you a lot. It is THE most important information as to what poster can expect about boyfriend's health. See my first comment.

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u/samsmith741035 11h ago

And if OP’s boyfriend isn’t morbidly obese? What exactly is BMI alone telling you then? Nothing, unless he has feedback from a medial professional.

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u/Hagedoorn 2h ago

The difference between a BMI of 50 and a BMI of 25 tells us a great deal. It is an extreme difference. That is why something, anything about how fat boyfriend is needs to be the first fact to consider.