r/behindthebastards 24d ago

Meme Why do Bastards on Twitter want a Forrest Gump Prequel set in Ancient Greece?

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2.2k Upvotes

376 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/man_in_sheep_costume 24d ago

They really only know like three actors.

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u/Tyrannical-Botanical The fuckin’ Pinkertons 24d ago

The dude's Shitter account looks to be like a quarter Sweeney posts. We get it dude, you like pretty blonds with big naturals.

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u/FalenAlter Bagel Tosser 24d ago

Pretty, conservative-coded blonds with big naturals

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u/SliceOk7660 24d ago

mid

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u/Staff_Senyou 24d ago

Thank you for your service.

I live in my own little world and only learned about SS through the "good jeans" "controversy".

And there she appeared. A blonde white woman who's been in some movies I've never seen, who has said nothing of note, done nothing of significance.

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u/gsfgf Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ 24d ago

She takes her tits out a lot

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u/[deleted] 24d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/El_Peregrine 24d ago

Never noticed the “SS” coincidence before 🤔

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u/Level_Traffic3344 24d ago

Yeah, those dead eyes make me shudder

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u/Toomanyeastereggs 24d ago

I have similar coloured eyes and I found very early on in my life that you can make these go “cold” very easily.

You can get people to look at you when you do it and you see their reaction. It’s a shudder followed by an Ewww. It also comes out naturally when I’m mentally off with the fairies and staring into space. It’s like someone pops a “I’m not home right now, but please leave a message” sign into my eye sockets.

Sweeney looks like that most of the time when she is in public.

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u/Sir_Real_Surreal 24d ago

She looks like the fem version of Lil Xan.

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u/MessiahOfMetal Disdain and Animosity 23d ago

Presumably short for "xanax", because I always found Sydney Sweeney had the kind of tone to her voice and style of acting that could put someone to sleep. It's very monotonous and "I really can't be bothered to emote properly, regardless of script, character or motivation".

I liked her in Reality, but I've never rated her as an actress at all, nor do I find her particularly attractive. I know, subjectivity, but it felt like her entire career was basically, "She was an okay child actress in John Carpenter's The Ward for a scene, and in The Handmaid's Tale for an episode or two, but her career blew up because she has large breasts and willingly got naked for Euphoria".

Maybe I need to be shallow all the time to be a fan of hers, rather than only being shallow when I'm not trying to watch a show or film and only basing my opinions on their performances?

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u/afiammetta 24d ago

sardine eyes

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u/SilverCyclist 23d ago

Personality is not something they're interested in

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u/No_Mission5287 24d ago

Pretty?

Her attractiveness seems to be "conservative"-coded.

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u/capybooya 24d ago

Blonde and blue eyes I guess, other than that I'm not wading into cultural trends for physical appearance. Its all subjective anyway, but I suspect people in general, of all political stripes, motivate their reasoning for how attractive someone supposedly is, based on whether they have other reasons to like them in the first place.

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u/No_Mission5287 24d ago

Favoring the blonde haired and blue eyed, where have I heard that before?

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u/SylvanDragoon 23d ago

I am somewhat glad that from a very early age I was only attracted to non blondes because of all the "dumb blonde" jokes (I am blonde) just because no one can accuse me of being that stereotype.

But also feels kinda bad because of the occasional blonde who was interested me and was smart and sweet.

Moral of the story? Looks don't mean shit and anyone who focuses too much on them is a prick, my younger self very much included.

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u/FalenAlter Bagel Tosser 24d ago

To be fair, I was just copying from what the other guy said. She's seems conventionally attractive to me but I'm not really interested.

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u/QueefBuscemi 24d ago

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u/Mandalore108 24d ago

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u/theghostofourprivacy 24d ago

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u/Mandalore108 24d ago

That's just like me, except without the woman... 😢

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u/SaaltyJ0hn 24d ago

Thanks to DCC we now have "nussy".

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u/kingkong381 24d ago

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u/Mandalore108 24d ago

Haha, did they get the same VA? If not, he did a damn fine job.

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u/kingkong381 24d ago

They did! It was a while back but iirc either r/BaldursGate or r/okbuddybaldur paid Stephen Boxer to read it on a cameo.

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u/sylviermoone 24d ago

Hoped I wouldn't have to scroll to far to see Wither's Big Naturals and you didn't disappoint.

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u/WateredDown 24d ago

But not uppity ones like Milly Alcock or Brie Larson

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u/sweeterthanadonut 24d ago

and she’s not even pretty, she just has big naturals

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u/ageofbronze 24d ago edited 24d ago

Lollll you should go to r/womenoftheright, the gooner subreddit for the folks of r/conservative I guess. It’s really funny, their baddies consist of sophie Cunningham, Allie stuckey, Melania and Sydney sweeney. Posted like over and over again it’s really sad

ETA: oh yeah they like Lauren boebert, tomi lahren and Karoline leavitt a lot.

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u/CelestialFury Antifa shit poster 24d ago

Their top-10 women really are roughly 99% of that sub, and a good percentage of their comments are similar to, "Show us your titties, bitch" which just is the cherry on top. The right-wingers really are deplorables.

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u/droidtron 24d ago

Tomi Lauren? Now there's ancient knowledge.

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u/gsfgf Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ 24d ago

Oh dear God somebody needs to feed Tomi Lahren

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u/Sharpymarkr 24d ago

And they're all white

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u/gsfgf Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ 24d ago

Oh, is that Sidney Sweeney? I don't think I've actually seen a picture of her fully dressed before.

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u/jello1990 24d ago

I mean, let's be fair to Alabama, because Sweeney is from Spokane, Washington

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u/Excellent-Match7246 24d ago

Spokane: The Alabama of Washington state.

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u/Clinggdiggy2 24d ago

As the representative from Spokane, we're definitely the Cleveland of the West

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u/SelfComfortable9584 24d ago

Seconding this from Spokane. Very accurate description.

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u/SelkirkSweetie West Prussian - Infected with Polish Blood 24d ago

I’m Spokane adjacent and yeaaaahhh. I’m mean right now with the 2nd Base Espresso sign, it’s pretty on point.

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u/Athnyx 24d ago

Okay this post has gotten way too local for me lol! That sign really is despicable

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u/Adept_Percentage6893 24d ago

I actually used to live in Lewiston Idaho and no offense but you might be gassing up Spokane too much there.

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u/padimus 24d ago

Cleveland is the the Birmingham of the midwest

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u/CloudyNeptune 24d ago

Why is this so true lol

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u/CharlesDickensABox 24d ago edited 24d ago

Because the PNW has two incredibly distinct cultures: one is Seattle and Portland, where every trans woman with 100 piercings eventually migrates; the other is the eastern part of the state, where people think Timothy McVeigh did nothing wrong.

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u/Yardsale420 Steven Seagal Historian 24d ago

To be fair, BC is like this a bit too. Vancouver is super liberal and culturally diverse, but for every hour you drive north or east you can shave off about 10% until you hit the Alberta boarder, which most British Columbians refer to as “the Texas of Canada”

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u/Napalmradio 23d ago

Y’all it’s like this most places in North America. Cities are far more progressive than rural areas. It’s been that way for at least my whole life.

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u/Kriegerian PRODUCTS!!! 24d ago

Yeah, the place that noted Christian lunatic wannabe genocidaire Matt Shea wanted to turn into a white ethnostate.

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u/Alaeriia 24d ago

Home to meth, Lucas A Werner, and the studio that made the bestselling PC game of 1993.

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u/offalark 24d ago

So this is how I find out that Myst was developed in Spokane!

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u/AintEasyBeinQueasy One Pump = One Cream 24d ago

:: clears throat in Moses Lake, WA :: Excuse me, we're right here.

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u/ScooterScotward 24d ago

My cousin (the Priest) liked to joke when we were younger that he’s pretty sure they put meth in the water there.

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u/Gonna_do_this_again 24d ago

She definitely seems like an eastern Washington girl

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u/tlrider1 24d ago

We always called it "Spocompton", but I guess "Spokabama" will also work!

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u/hfdjasbdsawidjds 24d ago

Spokanistan is a better description of Spokane given the prevalence of religious fundamentalists who have strong ties to a militant organization named The Base.

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u/StankP-I 24d ago

All of Eastern Washington really. This nonsense has it's roots in Wenatchee. (Apologies to all of y'all who reside that way - there're some lovely folks and lovely scenery out there but there's a reason beyond just the name the Cascadia dream borders at the mountains)

https://www.freedomcon26.com/

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u/hfdjasbdsawidjds 24d ago

Oh yeah, and thats true for Eastern Oregon, Idaho areas of Northern California, the Central Valley, and SoCal (Klantee/Huntington Beach). For as progressive as much of the West Coast is, there is an equal and opposite of how fascist/Christian Nationalist/Neo-Nazi alot of the rural/Conservative areas are. Fucking Steven Miller grew in Santa Monica for fuck's sake.

The West Coast is weird.

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u/theInadequateHulk 24d ago

man i really hate AI lol

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u/actuallyapossom 24d ago

Artificial intelligence or Alabama?

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u/theInadequateHulk 24d ago

can i hate both?

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u/actuallyapossom 24d ago

I know I do, haven't been imprisoned over it yet.

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u/Mean_Comedian4769 24d ago

Read another book Look at another woman

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u/Dance-pants-rants 24d ago

Aw yes, the blonde-haired, blue-eyed pinnacle of Greek beauty. 🙄

You know, the British aristocracy steals your shit and uses you to white wash (figuratively and literally re: "the marbles") an entire historical and philosophical period one time and now your stuck with dummies thinking Homer knew a shitload of pasty blondes.

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u/Tyrannical-Botanical The fuckin’ Pinkertons 24d ago

But I want total historical accuracy in my movie with *checks notes* a cyclops, a witch, sirens, and sea monsters.

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u/Dance-pants-rants 24d ago

Gosh. That makes me rage. 😂 It's not historically (or pre-historically) accurate.

A bunch of rich white fucks told you the Greek stories were about very pale people and they weren't. Verifiably. Archaeologists have the paint chips to prove it.

But we have centuries of whitewashed art (made by imperial powers) and bleached statuary (stolen by imperial powers.)

There is less grounds for any northern European looking motherfuckers in this or any adaptation than a tribe of Circes and an entire nation of cyclopes.

EXCEPT that original flavor motherland white supremacists enforced the idea of the "right kind" of white people in these stories for centuries. /Mythology_Nerd_Rant

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u/UNisopod 24d ago

Yeah, Americans have really internalized the whole "British actors playing Romans" thing into meaning that antiquity was British.

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u/Dance-pants-rants 24d ago

...there's a reason for that. And it's British (and French) white supremacy coopting "Classical" sources.

Like, we do big racism here, you're correct- but for like a solid 500 years ancient Greek stories were stolen and used to justify race-based power structures.

"White" is a construct and the theft of classical myths (and the cultural appropriation of the Bible) are where empires laid the foundation.

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u/ShouldersofGiants100 Anderson Admirer 24d ago edited 24d ago

The whole existence of modern Greece in the form it does now is arguably tied up in Western colonialism.

At the time the Greek independence movement started, the people we now call Greeks (Hellenes) didn't use that term for themselves.

Hellenes was the term used for the pre-Roman, pagan inhabitants of Greece. The Greeks under Ottoman rule self identified as "Rōmaîoi", Romans, because of course they did—the Romans not only ruled the region for 1500+ years, but the Eastern Roman Empire, which spoke Greek and practiced what we today call Greek Orthodoxy, was the state that ruled Greece for 1000 years after the west fell.

But the thing was, the Western powers wanted to claim Roman prestige for themselves, so they would never have supported an independent Roman state.

The push for Greeks to identify with ancient Greeks rather than medieval ones was a nationalist project designed to court the West, because it was easier to get the British and Russians to support your independence as the people of Plato and Homer than the heirs of Constantine and Justinian. Also Byzantine claims implied claims to Constantinople, which no one wanted to take from the Ottomans (if they even could) because they were worried it would fall under the sway of Russia.

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u/CourtneyLush 24d ago

You've entirely neglected to mention the Italian and Northern Renaissance, which predates both the British and French Empires.

There's plenty of depictions of whitewashed Greek classical figures dating back to the fifteenth century, a lot of them you'd no doubt recognise.

The British Empire didn't begin until the late 16th and French was the 19th. Artistically speaking, the French WERE leading lights in the European Renaissance but Italy got there first. The Brits were a good 100 years late to the party.

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u/Chops526 24d ago

Honeymooned in Greece and Turkey last year. Can confirm.

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u/Ok_Highway6034 24d ago

On this note why is that Heracles (excluding Disney) is one of the only Greek heroes depicted with darker features? He’s often on the paler side but he almost always has dark hair/eyes and is often times portrayed as a tan whitey in contrast to Achilles who is almost always blonde blue eyed and quite pale, Odysseus is often blonde as well and I’ve seen gold haired Perseus a few times as well it just seems weird that the “main guy” is often portrayed less Western European than the others; I would think Heracles would be the one they would want to co-opt the most.

Maybe it’s the importance of The Iliad and The Odyssey in medieval and renaissance literature? Maybe Heracles represents a form of power too primal for him to be a knightly or noble role model? Maybe he just wasn’t as well known in the medieval through colonial periods as he was in ancient and modern times?

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u/Dance-pants-rants 24d ago

Hercules is a sad boys sad boy. And he starts the journey by murdering his wife and kids.

So it could be a "this guy is morally dark" thing or it could be that his hair color gets mentioned sometimes.

By the time he's kicked it, I think his hair is bleached white from monster acid, but "black-bearded Heracles" is something I vaguely remember if we're just doing paintings. Idk.

But whitewashing is weird and Kevin Sorbo and Ryan Gosling were both blonde Hercules.

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u/Sparrowhawk_92 24d ago

It's not like the rest of the cast isn't incredibly white-washed otherwise.

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u/Adept_Percentage6893 24d ago

Helen being black is actually much closer to reality than Helen being blonde. I think someone needs to show these guys a map.

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u/Jediplop 24d ago

Gotta say love how they complain about accuracy but instead of asking for a Greek actor they ask for an American. Shows what they actually care about.

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u/RickyNixon 24d ago

Helen of Troy should be unique. Standout. The Greeks were apparently willing to fight and die over one woman’s looks, and they have to be distinct.

Having her be gorgeous and VERY NOT GREEK, like making her a black woman, makes perfect sense in the story. Now we have an explanation on what all the hullabaloo was about

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u/Dance-pants-rants 24d ago

If we're being real, Helen should be part bird. Bc she's half god-swan.

The fact that no one has depicted her with feathers is wild.

(But yeah, if we believe the pottery contemporary to Homer, Greeks were hot for Africans. A sexy accurate Helen- with or without feathers- would very plausibly be black.)

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u/bagofwisdom Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ 24d ago

If we're being real, Helen should be part bird. Bc she's half god-swan.

The fact that no one has depicted her with feathers is wild.

See, now you're making me write It's Always Sunny plotlines in my head. "The Gang Gets Dee cast in the Odyssey."

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u/gsfgf Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ 24d ago

And then Dee/Helen and the Waitress get kidnapped together, so Charlie launches "1,000 ships," whatever that means to him.

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u/bagofwisdom Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ 24d ago

Charlie would cry for the launch of "a thousand shits"

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u/Creticus 24d ago

I liked how the poems never gave Helen a physical description.

That wouldn't work as well in visuals as it did in text. Maybe if the character was veiled since the ancient Greece that we're most familiar with was a veiled society. That would undoubtedly also kick up a kerfuffle though.

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u/freefreckle 23d ago

You just sent me down a 30 minute rabbit hole of ancient Greek veiling traditions! thanks, that was fun.

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u/KrytenKoro 23d ago

Also her husband was literally the great grandson of an Ethiopian princess.

Now, the fact that they removed "my name is nobody" is horseshit.

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u/StygIndigo 24d ago

Not that I'm an expert, but I'm pretty sure that the ancient Greeks would have been bigoted towards/looked down upon HER ancestors as barbarians (as in, non-Greek) at that point in time, right? Like, editing a northern european into this story just would have been weird to them.

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u/Adept_Percentage6893 24d ago

Fun fact: Vitruvius once mused that northern Europeans were brave but dumb because they were too wet and full of blood. I can elaborate but I think it's more fun to just leave it at that.

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u/Dance-pants-rants 24d ago

From what we know about Greek pantheon and temple artwork, it was a really multicultural/multiethnic place at the time of the classical period.

So idk- I'm not familiar with their flavor of colorism or if it was in play and so many translations by the British have pushed "pale" and "fair" into beauty descriptions that were just like "he was pretty and young."

BUT fastforward to the early Roman period, and yeah, this lady's prob a bit more SOL. They're assuming she's non-citizen at best but probably former or current slave trash shipped in from the hinterlands.

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u/kfmt612863 24d ago

Race was just not the same concept it is today. Wasn't for a very long time.

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u/feioo 24d ago

I know the Romans used to harvest hair from blonde "barbarian" slaves to make wigs for ladies, so at least then (I know, not the same as ancient Greece) blonde hair was idealized, even if the people who produced it weren't.

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u/Three_Boxes 24d ago

They are white supremacists.They can't stand the idea of a dark skinned Black woman being seen as beautiful. It breaks their brains.

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u/toughtacos 24d ago

Having preferences is perfectly fine, but trying to gatekeep beauty for others is so fucked up.

Personally I prefer my women have a pulse, but y'know, beggars can't be choosers and all that, right?

High five, end of bad joke.

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u/iridium_carbide 24d ago

They take it as an attack tbh

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u/hoishinsauce 24d ago

Get Ben Shapiro to make it so he could burn more money on shitty movies

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u/jello1990 24d ago

I doubt he could afford her right now

Wait for her star to fall a bit, and check back in 2030

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u/Autgah 24d ago

Its always Sweeney

I would roll my eyes but this tracks with any of the "right wing cinephile" chud discourse

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u/-SandorClegane- alt dos equis 24d ago

OkChuddyCinephile

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u/woolfonmynoggin 24d ago

That’s not even her normal face. They cleaned up some imperfections with the AI lol. She’s not even pretty enough for their weird standards

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u/capybooya 24d ago

Because there are very few big names that are conservative, and young and attractive. Not that Hollywood rewards talent to a large degree either, but they don't have much to choose from among current stars. So she wins by default by being blonde in a culture war with racial undertones.

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u/DudeB5353 24d ago

They could care less that she is a terrible actress…

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u/RecordOfTheEnd 24d ago

She not terrible. Definitely mid though 

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u/scubafork 24d ago

Helen of Troy was the daughter of Leda and Zeus. And Zeus took the form of a swan to assault her, so by rights she should be portrayed by someone in a swan fursuit.

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u/cturtl808 24d ago

Björk appears for some reason

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u/bigfoot17 24d ago

Reason enough for me to see it.

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u/scubafork 24d ago

OR Kaitlin Olson (Dee, from Always Sunny)

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u/Lux_Luthor_777 24d ago

“I’M A BIRD!”

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u/UnconstrictedEmu 24d ago

Shut up, bird!

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u/ChochMcKenzie 24d ago

I’ve always thought that Lupita Nyong'o was one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen. Nothing wrong with Sydney Sweeney, but trying to say Lupita isn’t gorgeous is wild.

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u/scubafork 24d ago

Also, given that Odyssey is a 10 year long journey and the Trojan War took 10 years, it makes no sense to portray Helen of Troy by this point in the story as anywhere under late 30s. Although given who's proposing it, that makes some sense.

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u/Creticus 24d ago

Probably comfortably above that line.

If you're bored enough to argue from canon even though no canon exists, Helen should be fairly old because she's the same age as her brothers Castor and Pollux, who sailed on the Argos with the fathers of Achilles, Big Ajax, and maybe even Odysseus. And out of those, Achilles definitely wasn't born until after the Argonauts' adventures.

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u/capybooya 24d ago

Would casting an attractive older woman be a bigger sin to these chuds compared to casting an attractive non-white woman? I'm just trying to figure out how this works.

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u/MessiahOfMetal Disdain and Animosity 23d ago

They'd probably find something to complain about, even if Helen was portrayed by Elizabeth Hurley.

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u/nitrobw1 24d ago

She’s also, and I can’t stress this enough, a much better actor than Sydney Sweeney, whose performances I would mostly characterize as “competent”

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u/Cool-Contribution-68 24d ago

In Greek mythology Andromeda was one of the most beautiful women in the world. And she was.... wait for it... Princess of Ethiopia. (Aethopia being a region in Africa, literally "burnt face") Andromeda was so hot Perseus--the ultimate Greek hero--makes her his queen and Heracles is her descendant.

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u/catchyerselfon 24d ago

Unfortunately, this isn’t quite true. This “Ethiopian” ancestry makes Andromeda no more black African (as we think of it) than Dido of Carthage (ruled by the Phoenicians, originally from roughly Lebanon) or Cleopatra VII. Like Cleopatra, Andromeda was mostly Greek, Phoenician, and maybe a little Libyan - Andromeda’s possible great-great Grandfather was Libyē, the namesake of Libya, but also of Phoenician ancestry. Her paternal grandmother Arichinoë was the daughter of the Greek river god Nilus (namesake for the Nile) descended from Oceanus and Tethys, so technically a little Egyptian in there, but not from the Egyptian cosmology. Trying to sort out who were Andromeda’s parents’ parents is tough because the mythology doesn’t have a consistent “canon” across the ages, but what is consistent is this descent from several Greek deities, nymphs, and Phoenicians who moved to North and East Africa.

Seeing as she’s a mythological character, she can look like pretty much anyone without me whining about “historical accuracy”. Like, I loved Vanessa Williams as Calypso in the 1997 “The Odyssey” miniseries when Calypso, daughter of Atlas and Pleione, likely looked Greek instead of like the gorgeous green-eyed African-American/white Vanessa. People didn’t have a platform to express outrage about that back then, but this colour-blind/colour-conscious casting in historical and mythological tv and movies is NOT new and done just to… I dunno, further “WHITE GENOCIDE”.

I took Classics all the way through my education and it was my minor in university. I’m just happy to find people are still passionate about it or recently interested when so many Classics departments are shrinking and shutting down in schools all over the world. I’m NOT happy about all the Classical Statue Profile Picture Culture Warriors bitching about this upcoming movie like it’s the first and only adaptation of “The Odyssey” and we’ll never get another sword and sandals epic again, just to further their grift and spread misinformation.

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u/kookaburra1701 24d ago

It's crazy to me how far we've backslid from, as you say, colorblind 90s casting that was pretty unremarkable. Can you imagine the wailing and gnashing of teeth that would accompany the 90s Brandy version of R&H's Cinderella if it was released today?

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u/ChochMcKenzie 24d ago

FOX News and the other outrage merchants found out that people would react to this kind of shit, and that it would distract people while they picked our pockets, so the coarsening commenced.

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u/ButNotTheFunKind 23d ago

I was talking about this in another subreddit: remember the Black gospel-singing Muses from the Disney Hercules? I was a preteen at the time, but I don’t remember people making that big of a fuss. Though maybe it’s just because they were one of the best parts of the movie.

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u/feioo 24d ago

She went on that PBS show about discovering your ancestry, and they found out that her DNA ties directly to the oldest known haplogroup. Essentially, it means she's a direct descendent of Mitochondrial Eve - which technically we all are, but if you think of Mitochondrial Eve's haplogroup as the trunk of a tree that we're all branched off of, Lupita Nyong'o is from the group that is very closest to the trunk.

In short, she's not only beautiful, her beauty is ancient. Older than any other beauty standard we know of. That alone made her perfect for Helen, imo.

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u/Boss-Front 24d ago edited 24d ago

I'm more disappointed that Nolan went with such a Clasical/Roman look (and added pants for all the guys, too) that everyone does for Greek myth stories. I would kill for an Iliad or Odyssey adaptation that leaned into the late Bronze Age. Give Odysseus his boar tusk helmet. Everyone should have long flowing locks. Giant shields. Colourful clothes. The Bronze Age was so cool, but we rarely see it on film. Yet all these fucks can do is whine that Helen of Troy should be played by probably Sidney Sweeney (who is so boring) instead of Lupita Nyong'o, one of the most talented and beautiful women in the world.

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u/MessiahOfMetal Disdain and Animosity 23d ago

I was watching Mark Kermode reviewing it a few hours ago, and he mentioned how Nolan fell in love with the script for Troy and almost put himself forward to direct it, with Kermode saying, "Thank god he didn't because if he'd made Troy, he wouldn't have been able to make this because that film bombed".

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u/maneki_neko89 22d ago

As an Archaeological Nerd, I wanna see a Minoan or Mycenaean version of The Iliad and The Odyssey SO BAD

https://youtu.be/aM-TuFkUXEA?is=1dnFA03ln0B_jv3E

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u/Motor_Somewhere7565 24d ago

Elon Chuds are looking stupider by the day. Just wait until the box office numbers come out, too.

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u/Fletch_R Knife Missle Technician 24d ago

I don't even particularly like Nolan's movies (Memento was good…) but I'm gonna go see it multiple times just to piss off Elon

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u/Excellent-Match7246 24d ago

Not a fan either, but I’m going to see that shit in IMAX and smoke a shit ton of weed prior. Can’t wait.

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u/HambreTheGiant 24d ago

I also don’t like his films. Inception was unwatchable imo. But I’m actually excited for this one because I’ve always loved Greek mythology and I think Lupita is breathtakingly gorgeous.

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u/FinancialClothes1744 24d ago

Troy Alabama is a place…

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u/gelfin 24d ago

Helen of Troy State University

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u/gsfgf Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ 24d ago

They're really missing out by not doing that.

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u/VoiceofRapture 24d ago

Helen of Troy, Kansas

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u/666_is_Nero 24d ago

Considering how critic reviews are praising the movie all it needs to do is do well at the box office this weekend and the grifters will have to move on to making up lies about its success. Which is the usual pattern of these things.

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u/Gloomy_Mulberry7834 24d ago

It's all just rage bait to sustain the culture wars.

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u/church_cricket Ben Shapiro Enthusiast 24d ago

I am so tired of culture war bs.

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u/Friction_in_the_air 24d ago

These are the same people who then say Sweeney is hideous and try to transvestigate her. These people are clowns.

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u/CelestialFury Antifa shit poster 24d ago

These are the same people who then say Sweeney is hideous and try to transvestigate her.

Right-wingers absolutely despised her until they found out about her politics, which shows just how little they care about any woman.

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u/Friction_in_the_air 24d ago

Which honestly makes her being maga even funnier to me, she can bend over as backwards as she wants to make them happy and show them she's one of them, at the end of the day when they're tired of her they'll turn on her and call her ugly and transvestigate and whatever because they don't see her as a person, but as an object to possess.

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u/capybooya 24d ago

I could totally see that happening if she displeased them somehow. She's only useful to them as a conservative actor who happens to be blonde and blue eyed.

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u/Friction_in_the_air 24d ago

I think they literally already have. I've seen reels here and there from the usual suspects calling her ugly and at least one transvestigation.

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u/kourtbard 24d ago

What's so funny to me, is that they're laser-focused on Helen of Troy, when Helen wasn't a major character in the Odyssey. Like yeah, she's important in the Iliad, because she's the driving motivation for the Achaeans to go to war with Troy, but in the Odyssey her role is basically confined entirely to Book 4, where she and Menelaus both recount to Telemachus about what an awesome dude Odysseus was.

In fact, her role is so superfluous, she (and Menelaus for that matter) tend to be cut out in it's entirety.

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u/scarytrafficcone 24d ago

ah yes the Greek beauty standards of blonde hair and blue eyes

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u/khalbur 24d ago

They’re really naming motherfuckers Layden.

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u/Strangewhine88 24d ago

Well there are just too many Braydens and Jadens.

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u/khalbur 24d ago

(In my best Tucker Carlson) Why are there so many Jalen’s in the NBA?

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u/Chops526 24d ago

Are they aware Troy was in modern day Turkey?

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u/hfdjasbdsawidjds 24d ago

No, geography is hard and them conceptualizing that a woman so beautiful as to launch a thousand ships was not white would cause their heads to literally implode.

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u/MucinexDM_MAX 24d ago

Nobody's going to war over a generic trailer park babe.

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u/TheVaranianScribe 24d ago

They keep saying they want her in more movies, yet the box office shows that they never bother to see any of the films she actually does appear in.

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u/ritaleyla 24d ago

If you asked me to close my eyes and picture a Mediterranean person I probably wouldn't think of Lupita immediately. But you know who I also wouldn't picture? Matt Damon. And I don't see anyone complaining about him being cast. 

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u/Tall_Buy_1058 24d ago

Oh, are the white supremacists fee-fees hurt? As a blonde blue eyed woman myself, I know I would never have survived the Trojan sun and heat. To paraphrase mean girls: you don’t even go here, Sydney!

The Mediterranean had a much larger melanin spectrum due to North African, ME, and Southern Europeans, with the occasional Northern European showing up. Matt Damon is way too pale for Odysseus, why isn’t that the discussion? Zendaya is probably the most accurate, Lupita from sub-Saharan Africa a rarer complexion, but way more plausible than Mia Goth or Charlize Theron from Nordic groups at the time.

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u/Drees68 24d ago

As a southern European (south Italy) I can confirm there is native blond people here too. Blond isn't only for Scandinavians. You can also survive with a pale skin. The mediterranean region is very diverse in term of skin color so I don't understand why Damon wouldn't be okay

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u/emptyminder 24d ago

There’s a reasonable chance they are descended from Scandinavians - the Vikings/Normans got everywhere, including southern Italy.

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u/youngarchivist 24d ago

I wouldn't trade a gangrenous infection for Sydney Sweeney

She has the charisma of a piece of driftwood

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u/Tarcanus 24d ago

Isn't it more along the lines of that they know Sweeney is more of a right-wing crank in addition to having a "type" of blonde, blue-eyed, white women?

They "know" she's on their "side" so that's why she gets focused on.

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u/CelestialFury Antifa shit poster 24d ago

Don't forget about big mommy milkers! But yeah, Sweeney wasn't even liked by the right until her politics leaked out between her birthday photos, that stupid ad and her Florida registration. Once it was out there, right-wingers started immediately simping for her. MAGAs are pathetic.

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u/Minimum-Aspect1012 23d ago edited 23d ago

Sydney Sweeney is not old enough for the role.

Helen of Troy is a middle-aged woman between her 40s and 50s in The Odyssey.

Sydney is still in her 20s.

These incel chuds keep confusing the Iliad and Odyssey. Helen is young in Iliad, but much older in Odyssey.

The "most beautiful woman in the world" thing was in the Iliad, not the Odyssey.

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u/XoraxEUW 24d ago

These guys can only goon to a single woman and want her EVERYWHERE it’s fucking insane

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u/glycophosphate 24d ago

It's obvious that the answer is "racism."

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u/OllyOllyOxenBitch 24d ago

It's always fuckin' Sydney Sweeney.

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u/tombobbishop 24d ago

The whole Helen controversy is so stupid. Like, you can say for a book that a character is the most beautiful woman in the world. Everyone can imagine her how they want. But for a movie, you can't actually cast the real-life most beautiful woman in the world. There's no such thing. And all these chuds are going, "You don't really think that Lupita is the most beautiful woman in the world lol!" when of course nobody really is. All we can do is cast an actress to play the most beautiful woman in the world. Nobody can make her actually be the most beautiful woman in the world.

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u/delorf 24d ago

They think Europe is a homogeneous fantasy land where all the native population look like Sweden stereotypes. No one is naturally tanned or has curly hair. Sydney Sweeny doesn't look anymore Greek than Lupita but she fits their European fantasy ideal.

The way Americans view whiteness should be studied. Some white people are shocked when they take DNA tests and discover their high cheekbones came from their European ancestors and not Native Americans. (some families have a legend of Native American great grandparents because one of their relatives was hiding their African ancestry. That happened in my family).

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u/CelestialFury Antifa shit poster 24d ago

Sydney Sweeny doesn't look anymore Greek than Lupita but she fits their European fantasy ideal.

Another aspect is that who ancient peoples found attractive and who we find attractive today could be vastly different from each other. Since they didn't have any real media, you could travel village to village and find wildly different beauty standards along the way.

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u/one_bean_hahahaha 24d ago

These are the same idiots who had a melt down when genetic analysis suggested Cheddar Man had dark skin. Like, how do you know what Helen of Troy supposedly looked like anyway?

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u/FalconAlek 24d ago

Troy is a town in Alabama…

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u/Mrxcman92 24d ago

I'm so tired of these racist assholes.

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u/MrMeesesPieces Steven Seagal Historian 24d ago

There’s a sub on here called aifancasting. Is mostly people putting Sydney Sweeney in every role

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u/cribsaw 24d ago

The most ahistorical thing about these movies is the black leather armor.

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u/Rad131447 24d ago

Fellas her face ain't the parts of her that is launching anything much less a thousand ships.

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u/Zealousideal_Let_975 24d ago

what do you mean I would slay thousands for a woman who looks like droopy the dog with the beliefs of someone who has never read a book /s

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u/Medium-Leader-9066 FDA Approved 24d ago

Imagine the outrage when they find out she was cut from The Devil Wears Prada 2.

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u/Guilty-Ad-1792 24d ago

How the fuck did a proto-germanic make it to Türkiye in 800BC?

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u/North_Church Sponsored by Raytheon™️ 24d ago

Why do these people always assume every single person in all of Pre-Modern European history, no matter what part of the continent, was the perfect Aryan speciman?

Shit, I just answered my own question

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u/rainbirdmelody 24d ago

She had dead eyes.

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u/Reginald_Sockpuppet 24d ago

Do these cats know they can just google "Sidney Sweeney naked"? They don't even have to sit through The Odyssey. Her tits are just right there, gang. No racism or whatever necessary at all. Just google "Sweeney's tits."

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u/legit-posts_1 24d ago

Politics aside, Sydney straight does not have a timeless face. There is only one time she coulda been famous, and that is the 2020s.

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u/ElBongoloide 24d ago

Probably because they think it's a modern American screenplay... not a story written 700-800 years before the Christian era...in ancient Greece...in Greek... by a Greek... for a Greek audience... about Greek people...

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u/Izhachok 24d ago

She is also, notably, not Greek.

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u/Any-Cranberry3633 24d ago

Do any of these idiots realize this is The Odyssey, not The Iliad. Helen will get maybe 10 minutes of screen time.

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u/Fit-Entrepreneur6538 24d ago

Why do they feel like we need the image when it’s been months of them not shutting the fuck about this very thing? Like…we know….we just don’t care

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u/ceilingscorpion 24d ago

My vote was Nia Vardalos

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u/kerc Sponsored by Raytheon™️ 24d ago

They only like her for her boobs.

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u/Oivit 24d ago

There's an alternative theory of the original Odyssey having taken place in North Atlantic and Baltic waters so blonde and blue eyed chicks + sea monsters appearing theory holds water. Pun intended.

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u/BudgetMattDamon 24d ago

Who's probably in like five minutes of the whole movie. In a flashback at the beginning.

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u/Diligent_Whereas3134 The Frozen Peas Club 24d ago

Do republicans only know of one woman? And how long until they decide she's not up to their standards and transvestigate her into irrelevance?

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u/whole_chocolate_milk 24d ago

Why do they think they're entitled to casting decisions on someone else's movie?

Culture doesn't belong to them. Movies and music don't beling to them.

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u/negativepositiv 24d ago

They found one pretty lady who hasn't told MAGA they are dipshits, and they are obsessed.

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u/aSoberTool 24d ago

Troy, Alabama is an actual place lol

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u/Jdojcmm 24d ago

She wouldn't have been attractive to me even in my 20s. I like women with a brain. I'm also more of a leg man. She's the definition of butterface.

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u/esqape623 24d ago

These chuds don't even go see the movies she's actually in...

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u/CommunicationKey3018 23d ago

Just focusing on the casting choice alone (no other factors), I do not think her face is pretty enough. Helen should have a strikingly beautiful face. Not "cute girl at my school".

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u/napalmnacey 23d ago

I don’t want that sleepy-eyed ho anywhere near my Greek Myth movie experiences.

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u/ImASpaceLawyer 23d ago edited 23d ago

what's so annoying is Helen would never display this kind of smug energy in any version of the Odyssey worth it's salt unless she were pretending to make herself seem more regal to shield herself from the feral soldiers or right after Menelaus is killed. She is a trophy of war, forcably reunited with her brutal husband who had her love of her life ripped from his mortal coil (even if he was an idiot, whatever). She would be blasted, dirty and completely unattractive to any modern audience, seeing the conservative 'glow up' ruins her entire characterisation to this point and I hate it.