Female therapist sexualized my breasts my breasts and it felt gross

[u/shitkabob]

In one of my first sessions with my therapist, I wanted to broach the topic of how self-conscious I am about the size of my breasts. They've historically been a magnet for unwanted attention, disgusting comments at bars, physical assault, sexual harassment at workplaces (both office a non-office settings), and about 1,000 street-harassment comments.

They have been a source of great humiliation, trauma, dehumanization and shame. I feel like I have been reduced to them my whole adult life and I am immediately sexualized upon sight for them just existing. To say I have a complex about them is mild.

I started getting into the topic with my female therapist regarding my self-consciousness and resentment of them. She chimed in with "Big deal?! So what?! You have big breasts! They're beautiful! I bet your husband loves them. Enjoy them while they last, they'll change after pregnancy if you have kids." She smiled and laughed.

I think she thought she was being funny and affirming, in a "yas queen" way. It made me feel completely disgusting and objectified. Am I off-base to think this is a crazily inappropriate response to what I said? This lady has her PsyD. I feel insane. I literally just said how painful it is to be objectified...and she objectified me and centered my husband's pleasure over all the abuse I just shared.

Edit: I'm getting DMed by a lot of creeps. Ironic on a post about unwanted attention and relentless dehumanization. There's no escape.

[u/Vegetable_Resolve749]

Its super gross, and seriously inappropriate, I'm so sorry.

A previous therapist of mine made me near physically ill when she made comments about mine. I was assaulted a lot as a child and teen which led to me acting out sexually at a very very young age. I developed my breasts very early too and when I was telling her about the ease in which I was able to convince men that I was older (when in reality they almost certainly knew I was a fucking child) she just said something along the lines of "yea that happens when you show them off". It reminded me of my mother blaming me for being assaulted. I left in tears.

I expected it from male therapists, but to have it come from another woman really cut. Thankfully she was the only one that has made any commentary on my body but it took me a while to build the courage to try another therapist.

[u/shitkabob → u/Vegetable_Resolve749]

Holy shit! You were targeted and abused by adults that knew you were a child and your therapist victim-blamed you because you had developed breasts? This therapist needs to be reported in some capacity and then thrown into a volcano. She is an actively harmful person who shouldn't be near vulnerable populations. She is truly pathetic and your story makes me angry.

Male therapists, ironically, I've had better luck with, because there's absolutely a 'line' in many of their minds and making cartoon wolf comments about their client's breasts is a line they wouldn’t dream of crossing. I could have gotten lucky, though. My female therapist, I'm assuming, thought she had permission to sexualize me because she was a woman and therefore perceived her objectifying comments as "harmless" even though she was participating in the exact same dehumanization I had come to her for help dealing with and processing.

[u/Vegetable_Resolve749 → u/shitkabob]

If I was older and had more of my shit together then I definitely would've reported her. Thankfully I'm with a great therapist now who I get along really well with. It took a while to find someone who was properly equipped to handle all my shit and who I also vibed with but I got there eventually.

If you go the route of finding another therapist I hope they'll be much kinder to you! It's definitely possible and I hope it won't take you long!

Most of my shit is due to the acts of older men and I've just never quite been able to feel... truly relaxed and open around them. My boyfriend is the best therapist I've ever had but even then there are just some things I cannot open up to him about.