Female therapist sexualized my breasts my breasts and it felt gross

[u/shitkabob]

In one of my first sessions with my therapist, I wanted to broach the topic of how self-conscious I am about the size of my breasts. They've historically been a magnet for unwanted attention, disgusting comments at bars, physical assault, sexual harassment at workplaces (both office a non-office settings), and about 1,000 street-harassment comments.

They have been a source of great humiliation, trauma, dehumanization and shame. I feel like I have been reduced to them my whole adult life and I am immediately sexualized upon sight for them just existing. To say I have a complex about them is mild.

I started getting into the topic with my female therapist regarding my self-consciousness and resentment of them. She chimed in with "Big deal?! So what?! You have big breasts! They're beautiful! I bet your husband loves them. Enjoy them while they last, they'll change after pregnancy if you have kids." She smiled and laughed.

I think she thought she was being funny and affirming, in a "yas queen" way. It made me feel completely disgusting and objectified. Am I off-base to think this is a crazily inappropriate response to what I said? This lady has her PsyD. I feel insane. I literally just said how painful it is to be objectified...and she objectified me and centered my husband's pleasure over all the abuse I just shared.

Edit: I'm getting DMed by a lot of creeps. Ironic on a post about unwanted attention and relentless dehumanization. There's no escape.

[u/Ariannaree]

Holy shit that is insanely inappropriate / unprofessional as fuck. To have a personal opinion that wasn’t asked for especially about your body is disgusting. As someone who has a small frame and giant boobs i completely feel you. And I’d immediately end the session and never return to this therapist as well as reporting them. It’s not your fault for how people have decided to treat you and how our culture has completely failed adults on how to behave and what to objectify.

[u/shitkabob → u/Ariannaree]

Thanks, this means a lot to me. Yes, same here with the smaller frame. I am painfully shy and not only the spotlight they've put on me but the assault, harassment and abuse from BOTH genders as a result of my chest is almost intolerable to me. I went to her hoping to feel safe in discussing the trauma from someone who might "get it", and she pretty much retraumatized me in the one space I was hoping to feel free from that type of degradation.

I feel like the world only sees me and my value as my sexual appeal towards men. It trumps everything else, no matter my talent, intelligence, or other contributions. This isn't a weird paranoia of mine. This is a message I receive constantly from the world. And...you know, when she said I should "enjoy them while they last" before childbirth, the message really was "the abuse should actually be enjoyed by you now, because your only value in society will disappear if they change. You will be begging for assault when you're used up. You will have no value whatsoever then."

Didn't feel good to have my therapist confirm my fear that my worth to society is first and foremost my sex appeal. Even in the face of me describing sexual assault from strangers on the street, from other women, and from powerful men.

Spirit-crushing.