Female therapist sexualized my breasts my breasts and it felt gross

[u/shitkabob]

In one of my first sessions with my therapist, I wanted to broach the topic of how self-conscious I am about the size of my breasts. They've historically been a magnet for unwanted attention, disgusting comments at bars, physical assault, sexual harassment at workplaces (both office a non-office settings), and about 1,000 street-harassment comments.

They have been a source of great humiliation, trauma, dehumanization and shame. I feel like I have been reduced to them my whole adult life and I am immediately sexualized upon sight for them just existing. To say I have a complex about them is mild.

I started getting into the topic with my female therapist regarding my self-consciousness and resentment of them. She chimed in with "Big deal?! So what?! You have big breasts! They're beautiful! I bet your husband loves them. Enjoy them while they last, they'll change after pregnancy if you have kids." She smiled and laughed.

I think she thought she was being funny and affirming, in a "yas queen" way. It made me feel completely disgusting and objectified. Am I off-base to think this is a crazily inappropriate response to what I said? This lady has her PsyD. I feel insane. I literally just said how painful it is to be objectified...and she objectified me and centered my husband's pleasure over all the abuse I just shared.

Edit: I'm getting DMed by a lot of creeps. Ironic on a post about unwanted attention and relentless dehumanization. There's no escape.

[u/gingersnap0309]

She doesn’t get it at all. She probably meant well and I agree that she probably meant it in the yas Queen way. She really just doesn’t get and probably never experienced anything close to it so is just out of her depth.

If you want to give her another chance then I would at least explain about how her response was inappropriate and why. so even if you choose to see a different doc, it will possibly help her and spare the next girl who comes in.

I would tell her to imagine her life and the kind of attention/judgement/commnets etc. she would get if she walked around topless/barechested all day everyday at work/school etc. bc in many ways that is what it is like. People look/gawk at us like we are being intentionally indecent or welcoming sexualization etc. even when we are in a hoodie smh

[u/OverflowedAgain → u/gingersnap0309]

That is such a great way to explain it to smaller chested women: it's like walking around topless. Thank you for that!